Being Eastwardly Challenged

Your internal compass functions equally in all directions.  Mine?  Not so much.  Maybe you lived your whole life in Indianapolis, the Circle City.  Columbus and Cincinnati are like Indianapolis, you can travel in all directions for miles and miles.  Count your blessings native buckeyes.  Same goes for those growing up with a baby bottle of Bourbon in Louisville.  Others, like me, grew up in a world devoid of easterly travel by land.  

A Milwaukeean by birth, while I have a wine aficionado type appreciation for the variety of cheese curds, I am forever directionally disabled.  So is the guy from Miami I met via email this week.

Aside from the Browns, I can relate with people in Cleveland, northwardly challenged.  Being from Milwaukee, like those who grew up in Chicago, I have no concept of east.  I’d assume riders in LA have a hard time with west.  West is ocean.  I was born with east meaning Great Lakes.  Joe go no east.

East is brow furrowing confounding to me.  When I give directions to someplace east of Cincinnati, I lack the typically manly confidence.  I slur out the word east with a slow point to the right.  “It’s about 8 miles eeeeaaaast of here.  Yep.  East.  That way.  That’s east, right?” 

Being eastwardly challenged has its rewards.  Anytime I’m east of town, I feel like I’m only a few minutes away, even if it’s 20 miles.  Being east of home has always meant close to home.  I could never stray too far without getting my feet wet.  My brain is lopsided.  If I were to create a graph, it’s nearly a 2 to one ratio.  2 miles west = 1 mile east in terms of feeling far from home.  This can be dangerous.  What feels like 14 miles, can easily be 30 miles.  Due to my condition, I’m more likely to bonk on a ride east of home.

I got an email from a guy living in Miami last week who asked for advice on the best area to live in Cincinnati and be close to good riding and far away from busy roads.  It was obvious he suffered my disability as well.  Logically, appearing a short drive to the city and an easy escape into rural riding on a map, he was considering Mason.  Mason!  I had to save him from the six-lane freeway as a main street hell-hole.

Mason is a suburban heaven, surrounded by a purgatory moat of traffic jams.  The only saving grace is the right hooks and middle finger throwing come from pretty women driving Lexus SUV’s.  I had to open his eyes to the circle city concept, where living more central to the city affords more pleasant riding in all directions, and consequently, living on the fringes, limits your options.  I live 5 miles from downtown Cincinnati.  I do most of my riding out my front door in all directions, even east.  In 13 years, I’ve never ridden my bike through Mason.  In fact, it’s avoided.  Conversely, the amount of riders passing the end of my urban street on any given week is probably in the hundreds.

When a city offers travel by road in all directions, people and traffic are more spread out.  Imagine how the dynamic of understanding a city would change if you took all the people on the Eastside of Cincinnati or Indianapolis or Louisville, and moved them all west from a centerline through downtown.  Welcome to Chicago, Miami and Milwaukee.  The size of the suburbs is double.

You can’t blame Miami guy.  In Miami, there’s a whole lot of life crammed in that little corner of Florida, let alone King James’ and Pitbull’s entourages.  It was obvious he has no concept of east as well, and occasionally wrestles with south.  There is definitely no east and only a little fart of outlet store highway leading south of Miami to the keys.  Every day, he has to navigate a dense suburban choking hell to lay wheels to peaceful asphalt somewhere north and/or west of the city.  I must have blown his mind when I told him the best places to live and ride in Cincinnati are actually closer to the city. 

The beauty of the circle city is on any given day, I can ride south in to the hills of Northern Kentucky, past the riverboats west along the Ohio River, north on the bike path to Loveland, Xenia and Dayton and yes, east.  Glorious east past the riches of Indian Hill, I can pedal through a covered bridge, down miles of one lane farm roads which eventually turn into switchbacks up the Appalachian Mountains and back down for hundreds of miles before east ever comes to an end with soaking wet feet.

#CCCNYR Roadtrip: It’s not about the Bikes

Podium Girls?  No.  Snowmen in Chicago

The fire alarm went off just past 3am on Saturday night at the Hilton Indian Lakes Resort, host of the Chicago Cyclocross Cup New Years Resolution UCI races.  Sunday morning, the race announcer would remark, “I’ve never seen so many pro’s in their underwear!”  You learn neat little revealing tidbits about people on bike road trips, things that could make or break a fun trip.  Choose your room/car mates wisely.  Ask yourself, what would you do if you were in your boxer-briefs, in a post-race deep coma and the place caught fire when it’s 19 degrees outside?  Would you put on pants and boots?  Grab your car keys?  Make your teammate get his skinny butt out of bed?  

Despite knowing that fire can sweep through a house in like 4 minutes, we assumed a false alarm.  BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.  It went off again!  I could hear the alarms start in the south part of the building and, like a wave, reach our room.  “Oh, this must be real.” I jumped out of bed, slipped on my pants and Crocs, donned a baseball cap, grabbed the room key off the coffee bar and headed out the door.  In a muffled southern drawl, Gers muttered a joke about a smoker jonesin’ for a grit and gathered more pillows around his ears.  I left him to die.

J-Pow! Leads Sand on Saturday

Out in the lobby were about 100 guests in various states of readiness, like my buddy Peter and his family.  His wife clutched her purse and car keys, kids clinging to her legs.  Others, like me, had exposed toes and a two day old t-shirt, no wallet, coat or car keys.  Still no one was stepping into the frigid night until smoke reached our eyebrows and the pajamas started to feel warmer than normal.  Remarkably with a hotel full of racers and $5000 rigs, not one person in view opted to save their bike.  The ladder truck rolled up.  A fireman put a key to the alarm console at the concierge desk.  It shut off.  We sighed.  Then, it blared again starting from the far south of the building.  Uh-oh time.  The firemen returned with axes and more gear.  Something was on fire.  It must have been minimal.  Within a few minutes, the all clear sounded.  I returned to the room.  Gers grumbled something.  We never heard the cause.  The next day he admitted he had a plan to escape certain death.  He would break our 1^st floor window with my trainer. 

Gers Couldn't Resist the Instagram Allure

“They should have windmill powered cars,” Gers said as our 4 and a half hour road trip conversation turned to inventions.  On our way up, we were passing the giant wind farm between Chicago and Indianapolis along I-65.  Gers googled, “Did you know there are 87 windmills?  Looks like a shit-ton more to me.  I mean look at ‘em.”  I nodded and filled the pause, “You know, a windmill powered car would be the perfect closed circle of propulsion.  The faster you go, the more energy you create.”  Gers agreed, both of us completely neglecting the physics of friction and aerodynamics.  We still had 200 miles to go, conversation was imperative.  Gers would invent the modular trailer 20 miles later, like Legos with stackable and removable compartments depending on how big or small the load.  It seemed brilliant at the time.  You could put your bikes in one, gear in another.  Now I’m struggling with how they’d latch together.  The corn fields and miles whizzed by.

Saturday Chicago Cross Cup Elite Men Podium

South of Chicago we flipped on the famous radio station Chicago’s Finest Rock, 93 WXRT.  It was Gers first time listening.   With my background in radio, I explained what a rarity this station was, surviving with an odd mix of eclectic classic rock, new alternative hits, authentic Chicago blues artists and Grammy worthy nuggets in between.  Segueing from the Rolling Stones to Peter Gabriel to Mumford and Sons, I was digging it.  Growing up in nearby Milwaukee and having lived in the northern Chicago suburbs for a few years, I appreciated every song that dripped out of the speakers.  Then the true test came.  I turned up the volume for The Velvet Underground’s “I’m Waiting For The Man.”  Gers started singing it, “26 dollars…in my hand.”  “Yeah,” I thought, “he’s cool.”  This is a guy I can share a hotel room with.

S4: E1: #CCCNYR Pre-ride - the return of Goose Poop Hill

Its Friday, January 4th and our main characters are headed to Chicago, specifically Indian Lakes Resort, on a pre-ride mission. Racing is always more comfortable when you have a pre-ride in the day before to settle on what is fact or fiction about a course, so for those of you arriving after dark (including Biker Joe, who is somewhere paying tolls as I type this) here is a preview of the course.

Nickzilla!

Our three juniors hit the course a little after 3:00 PM CST. Wait...three juniors? Didn't we cover this in the last installment - we have two protagonists? Well, in 2013 we introduce a new player (or playa as he says himself) to the mix with Nicholas "Nickzilla" Petrov. Being only 9 years old we can't really delve too deeply into the details that make Nick tick, but I think we can easily divulge that Nick has "the moves" and will be a fun addition to the traveling circus.

Goose Poop Hill - frozen solid.

If you recall from last year, the main element at Indian Lakes is a hill affectionately referred to as "Goose Poop Hill" based on its construction. Apparently the way to build a hill in some place as flat as Chicago is to collect all the aeration cores, grass clippings and golf course waste and pile it in one place. After a while a hill is formed. Because it is golf course waste the ground is soft and sticky and particularly on the 2nd day last year started freezing to bikes, shoes, skin, and generally anything above the ground that was warm and receptive.

The problem with Goose Poop Hill this year is that it won't really factor into the mix. You see the hill is so frozen it would take a week of direct sunlight to thaw it to the muddy exquisiteness it was last year. In fact the whole course is frozen enough that workers were seen drilling holes for all stakes - including the simple metal point step in stakes commonly used for cyclocross.

This year will be about speed and using your big ring. With the wind in your back you can coast for long stretches of the course as if you were riding pavement on your road bike. Pack riding could be a reality for tomorrow's races.
 

After a fast start and a couple sweeper, this will be the site of the first bottle neck - double 180 off cambers

Large berm exits on the sand pits make line selection important

Lose Yourself in 2012-13 Cyclocross

I’m guessing this is the point in his training where Michael Phelps fired up the bong, aka The Rest Week.  While I don’t condone pulling a Phelps, with the sun of this year’s World Championship cyclocross season rising on the horizon, I clearly see why he needed the break.  In order to be the most decorated Olympian in history, he needed to be Mike for a while.  Go to Vegas.  Play video games.  Blow off practice.  Walk around with a case serial killer bed head hair.  On July 23^rd, my coach, Chris Mayhew at JBV Coaching, assigned me a two week break from riding.  He knows this season is special, a once in a lifetime perhaps.  Yesterday was the last day of slacking before a season that’ll end with the World Championships. 

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

I’m trying to balance levity with the magnitude of the opportunity.  Maybe you’re holding back your excitement too, and that’s why I sort of feel alone in the pursuit.  Even with the flame burning in London, I’m not getting the feeling that many grasp what a gift the 2012-13 cyclocross season calendar is.  Locally in the Ohio Valley we have clinics featuring Jeremy Powers and Kaitlin Antonneau, a cyclocross series in OVCX that’s on par with New England and the Northwest, the Cincy 3 Cyclocross Festival, Cross After Dark, USGP races in Madison and Louisville, a huge UCI weekend in Chicago, Nationals nearby, a Worlds warm up race in Cincinnati and then, finally the Cyclocross World Championships in Louisville for both Masters and Elite.  Oh-My-God!  What a Cyclocross Season!

Harbin Park, site of Cincy 3 CX Festival, circa 2001

12 years ago, you had your choice of three races: A, B, or C. The course was hastily marked with flags and orange spray paint.  This year, you’ll see national jerseys on the backs of European stars wiz past your nose through the fog of your frozen breath.  I’m not saying cyclocross is going to disappear in 2014, but right here, right now, for many of us this season is the best chance we’ll ever have to plant our cleats as high as we can on the summit of cross mountain.  This is the perfect opportunity to grab the low hanging cowbells.  Without pounding a nail in the cross-coffin, for those on the upper end of the Masters demo, you’ll likely never have this chance again without dipping into your 401(k) for plane tickets and baggage fees to Europe.  This is your Eminem “Lose Yourself” moment. 

Marshall Mathers turns 40 in October, racing age 41.

2008 OVCX Gun Club Carnage

Oddly, I feel almost alone in the pursuit, and mine has nothing to do with the podium.  Outside the voices in my head, I’m not feeling a buzz, your buzz.  Maybe it has something to do with the individualistic approach we have to cyclocross or cycling in general.  We know better than to hang our hopes on one race.  Dreams can be dashed on a sharp root or a slick corner.  We purse our lips and swallow back notions of excitement, in case they are dashed with a 25mph header into a sand pit.  But this season is different.  Never before have we had so many major events, so many chances to feel a little glory. 

Masters 45-49 World Champs Seeding Startline Jan 2012

So, afford yourself the chance and share your excitement.  Get off the fence.  Register.  Let the tiny cowbells in your head crescendo into some thing on par with the bum-bum-BA-bum-bum rumble of the Olympic Theme kettle drum.  Share your goals on your Facebook status.  Remember what a treasure it is to have that photo of yourself towing the start line at Worlds.  Hire a coach.  Snatch up that non-stop January flight from Denver to Louisville that I saw online for $262 round trip.  Volunteer as a course marshall.  Book the hotel for that faraway race or pro clinic you’re on the fence about.  Show up early for the juniors.  Stay late for the post race party.  Create a Power Point to convince your family that Chicago, Madison, Cincinnati and Louisville are wonderful places to visit in the winter.  The next six months will fly by and we need to make the most of it.  I can’t wait to be wearing a rain jacket, rubber boots, eating a waffle, drinking from a flask and standing next to you as we hang over the banners at Worlds screaming “Allez!”

Cross Nation, this year is special and we need more cowbell.

OVCX 2012 Schedule: Ohio Valley to Worlds

Series Art by James Billiter

With the UCI Elite and Masters World Championships coming to Louisville Jan/Feb 2013, organizers of the 9th Annual Zipp OVCX Series are proud to announce an exciting, expanded schedule for 2012.  (See schedule below or at OVCX.com.)

This year's OVCX encompasses 13 events that tour through the cyclocross scenes of Indianapolis, Bloomington, Dayton, Lexington, Cincinnati and Louisville.  Kicking off September 16th, this year’s OVCX series begins with Huber's Apple Cross in Starlight, IN - just north of Louisville. The series winds up 3 months later in mid-December with the series finale at the Major Taylor Velodrome in Indianapolis.


The schedule offers pockets for area USGP events and a great springboard for those with aspirations for the Chicago CX Cup, Nationals, Kings Invitational and Worlds in January.  Those dates also listed below.

The Cincy3 Cyclocross Festival makes its return to the OVCX series with Devou Park, Harbin Park, and the new Saturday night Elite/Pro races under the lights at Kings CX.  8 other venues link the cities of Dayton and Cincinnati in Ohio, Indianapolis and Bloomington in Indiana, and Louisville and Lexington in Kentucky.  The geographic layout of the series puts most venues within an easy two hour drive for most participants. 

Racers Battle the Mud at Kings CX Cincinnati

The 2012 series aims to be more work, family and travel friendly.  (See video at right or click here.)  Aside from the Cincy3 weekend, participants will see only one race per weekend on the schedule.  As in previous years, your best seven races count toward the series overall title making it easy to compete and have fun.  The OVCX series is committed to being a vehicle in developing young talent and will again offer numerous categories for juniors aged 10 to 18 and an under 19 category in elite races.  Chip timing will be again at each event to provide quick results and submission to USA Cycling for national ranking points.  Full series rules and categories will be posted to OVCX.com by mid-June.

So get your gear and cowbells warmed up and ready - we're in for a season to remember!

2012 OVCX Calendar:

Date:       Venue                                         Location                     

Sept 16    Huber's Apple Cross (NEW!)       Louisville       

Sept 30    St. Mary’s Cyclocross                  Indianapolis

Oct 7       Midwest Outdoor Exp. (Gearfest) Dayton                       

Oct 14     Gun Club Cross                            Cincinnati                   

Oct 21     Bloomingcross                              Bloomington  

Oct 28     Storm the Greens                          Louisville                   

Nov 2      Cincy3 (Devou, Kings, Harbin)     Cincinnati                   

Nov 18    Promotion Cross                           Lexington                   

Nov 25    Brookside Cup                              Indianapolis               

Dec 9      Buckingham Financial John Bryan   Dayton           

Dec 16    Major Taylor Velodrome (NEW)   Indianapolis    


NON OVCX Dates To Note:
Sept 8    Lionhearts CX                                Cincinnati
Sept 15  Hubers Apple CX Day 1                Louisville
Sept 22  USGP Madison Day 1                   Madison, WI
Sept 23  USGP Madison Day 2                   Madison, WI
Nov 10  USGP Louisville Day 1                   Louisville
Nov 11  USGP Louisville Day 2                   Louisville
Jan 5      Chicago CX Cup Day 1                 Chicago, IL
Jan 6      Chicago CX Cup Day 2                 Chicago, IL
1/10-13 National Championships                 Madison, WI
Jan 26    Kings CX Invitational UCI             Cincinnati
1/30-2/3 World Championships                   Louisville

Arrival: Mud Insensitivity #cccnyr

TBBBE Stock 4-Runner Photo

Friday we loaded up the Toyota 4-Runner and ended up in a caravan with another Toyota 4-Runner, once again the official race vehicle of the The Best Bike Blog Ever, and headed north. It will come as no surprise to anyone that just like the last several races in the OVCX series it rained from the time we left our driveway until we reached Indian Lakes Resort in suburban Chicago. Good thing I packed that 33 gallon drum of chain lube.

The odd part was I didn't care. Am I tired of cleaning bikes? Yes. Am I tired of lubing chains and replacing bottom brackets? Yes. After two days of promoting Kings CX in derailleur clogging, hanger breaking mud it didn't phase me in the slightest. Was I expecting mud when I signed up for Chicago and Madison a couple months ago? Not in the slightest. Of course I could have sub-consciously realized that mud and 46 degrees beats the pants off icy and 20 degrees - THAT is what I expected.

Upon arrival we set into motion and started preparing ourselves to pre-ride and set up. We obtained Club Row treatment through ChiCrossCup and got to set up our tent in advance just feet from the starting grid. This is a primo setup, with tents on either side of us to secure everyone together from the Chicago wind and literally be able to hear our names during callups from our tents. Stay warm to the last minute kids.

Showing that I have been completely desensitized to the mud, I put on my shoes, a rain jacket, and my helmet a rode a lap of a very wet course in my jeans. Surprisingly the ground was very, very wet, but very, very firm. The course reminded me of Storm the Greens back in its heyday with its flat runs, a few small off camber hills, and some sculpted and contoured sand pits. Mostly it was flat with lots of straight aways. It was very calm today, and I think as a result I am not taking into account factor that race day might bring - wind. Chicago is well known for its wind and with long flats and wide open spaces that wind could make or break your day. They put wind turbines in the fields on I-65 for a reason.

Mackenzie and Spencer try to walk Goose Poop Hill

For technical features there are two notable features. The first is a "hill", literally the only hill taller than my official TBBBE race vehicle on the entire course - and for as far as you could see in the misty, wet day. That hill appears to be very special in its construction, something you can only get on a golf course. It is constructed of waste material from the course maintenance - literally consisting of grass clipping, extra sand, goose poop, aeration cores, and whatever else might have been collected in the grass catcher of the lawn mower. Walking up the hill we realized we shouldn't have. My shoes weighed about 5 pounds each by the time I got back to the bottom. Whether this is rideable or not will depend on the weather - but if you have to run it, you are not going to clip in clean. The hill was quickly nicknamed "Goose Poop Hill".

Sand trap love, Indian Lakes Resort style

The other technical feature of note is the many sand pits in use throughout the course. None are UCI legal length, but none are like riding sand either. The rain and elements and dormancy of the course have left them firm and rideable, but the lips riding out of them are similar if not greater than the lip to the right side of the long pit used at Kings CX a couple weeks ago. All of this is rideable, but those grunts up and out with the sand at the end of the lip getting churned up will definitely create some issues and opportunities during the weekend.

That is a wrap of the Chicago Cross Cup New Years Resolution course preview - I have to go get those jeans out of the hotel washer - there wasn't a "heavy soil" setting, so I have my fingers crossed. Stay tuned for more reports from the upper midwest.

P.S. - Here is Mackenzie's reaction to the course preview:

If you've ever ridden at Kingswood, you would recognize it here in Chicago. This course is a golf course, with a hill right smack in the middle. Just like Kingswood, except the hill is made up of random debris they don't want on the course and is smaller and only one hump...but that doesn't matter right now! Soo the course was really familiar feeling, fairly flat and straight. A few s-turns and u-turns thrown in, for variety. The start will be iffy for sure, long relatively thin pavement that's curvy with a strange turn onto the grass with off camber right after it. The hill that's pretty much literally made up of mud, goose poop, and unwanted dirt (lovely combination, right?) is slippery and has bumps, reminds me of the big hill at nationals the past few years, except not nearly as steep. After you go across the first time you go back later and go up and down the side a little around a tree, similar to what we've done at Kings before. Plopped at the end of the course are 6 sand pits - a lot of sand pits.

Guest Blogger Road Trip: #CCCNYR Chicago CX Cup & #CXnats

It's that time again when I hand over the keys to the blog.  Similar in principal to last years trip to Bend for CX Nationals, Corey Green will be guest blogging for the next 10 days as the run in to Nationals begins with the Chicago UCI races. This year it's a bit different.  Corey has chosen quite a task for himself.  Instead of traveling with two Masters aged micro-brew snobbing fart-joke loving buddies like he did last year with John Petrov and Gregg Shanefelt, this year Corey is traveling with two junior teenagers who may be polar opposites of each other: daughter Mackenzie Green and Justin Bieber...we mean John's son Spencer Petrov.  It's a sit com in the making, "I Love My Teenage Cyclocrosser."


Mackenzie Green - Corey's teenage daughter who loves cyclocross, but chooses to be quiet and reserved. While traveling she will most likely have her nose in a book received on Christmas day, playing a game on her iPhone, or doing what most teenage girls do - texting a couple hundred friends. Kenzie's goal for Chicago and Madison are to simply have great races, continue to build her experience and have fun. You must also realize that Corey is legally against saying anything remotely close to making fun of Kenzie in a blog. It would result in 10 days of teenage looks that all of you remember giving your parents as well as a general lack of forgiveness for embarrassing her.

Spencer Petrov - if anyone has spent any time with Spencer they will realize that his motor never stops. Most times he is reminiscent of that 2 year old toddler that is beyond tired, running frantic around the house getting into anything not glued down and non-stop chattering the whole time. The biggest difference between Spencer and that toddler is that Spencer never hits that wall where he collapses on top of himself, face down in his creamed bananas in his high chair - he just  k e e p s  g o i n g. If you have ever seen Justin Bieber Nyan Cat you sort of understand what I mean...it is like that...

Corey Green - driver and watchdog for the two above, plans are to race at Chicago and Nats and use his middle-aged body the best he can to not get lapped by Pete Webber and Adam Myerson. Cincinnati Master, Peter Hills will be in the same races in Chicago and at Nats and called up about the same time, so comparisons will be made to determine who had the best holiday prep to racing. Otherwise days will be filled with getting kids ready to race, pumping tires, cooking food, calming nerves and pretending that somehow this is a vacation from work.

This Friday the Toyota 4-Runner (official vehicle of TBBBE bloggers) will depart for Chicago, loaded up with 6 bikes, 6 extra wheels, tents, coolers, a case of lycra, left over mud from OVCX (for luck) and all those little things that you always throw in before leaving "just in case". We will return late, late on January 8th, after Nationals, filled with memories of good times had and a wonderful sense of accomplishment. Or we won't talk to each other for 6 months, it could go either way.

A Test of the Emergency #Vegan System

Free for the Taking, an Izzy's Sandwich on Servatii's Roll

This is the vegan equivalent of finding a Brinks truck crashed on the side of the road with $100 bills scattered across the shoulder.  Do you take it and buy a Dura Ace equipped carbon wonder bike from Italy?  Or do you do the right thing, call 9-1-1 and be the hero?  This is a made-in-Cincinnati Izzy’s Reuben Sandwich.  In the world of salted cured meats, nothing trumps the corned beef and sauerkraut piled high, slathered in Million Island dressing and served on Cincinnati’s famous Servatii’s pretzel bread bun.  Simply pulling the meat off would be like "fixing" the smile on the Mona Lisa. 

Did You Say Catnip Tuna?

Maybe I haven’t been clear in my description.  This is two great tastes in one entity.  It’s like Cincinnati Skyline Chili topped with Montgomery Inn Ribs.  Mmmm.  An Izzy’s Reuben on a Servatii’s roll is to Cincinnati as Jerked Chicken on the side of the road served with a Red Stripe beer is to Jamaica.  It’s Saz’s Barbecue with a side of George Webb’s breakfast to a Milwaukeean.  Its Gino’s East pizza covered in Southside Polish sausage to Chicago.  It’s a Thurminator burger topped with a pair of Blue Jacket’s tickets to those in Columbus.  It’s Christmas’ candy cane covered gingerbread house.  Its catnip covered in tuna juice to Juneau… my cat, not the city.

The choice between that bag of money or this sandwich is a life changing decision.  Consultants and advisors from GE and P&G may need to be called in.  Since they’re no longer working on the Space Shuttle program, I may dial-up NASA's best mathematicians to pour over excel spreadsheets and sandwich trajectories to help me decide which would have a better impact on my life. 

Jackpot!

Sure you could take the bag of money and go out and buy an Izzy’s Reuben and have enough left over to quit your job and eat it while riding off the threat of clogged arteries on your new Trek Madone, but you’d be missing the point.  I did hill repeats last night.  I’m 4 pounds below my target race weight.  It’s 9:30am.  I just ate half an apple.  I have an appointment in 30 minutes and I am surrounded by hungry native Cincinnatians.  This is about instant gratification.  This is about taking the kill before the Hyenas get it.  This is a case of how much would it really hurt.  This sandwich is now or never.  Dammit they’re taking it into the work kitchen.  Noooooooo!

My Lunchbox

Right down the hall is a free Izzy’s Reuben Sandwich served on special edition Servatii’s pretzel bread.  In my 2010 Vancouver Olympic lunchbox is a bag of carrots, a tub of hommus, a box of raisins, a banana, a fruit strip, half a Honeycrisp apple, and leftover vegan Tikka Masala in a plastic Glad container.  This is a test of eating a plant based non-processed food diet.  This is a test of the Emergency Vegan System.  This is only a test.

Thankfully, I passed.

Gaisma: Light Out Longer

Cincinnatians are lucky. Along with Columbus, Lexington, Knoxville and other cities in a nice little row near southbound I-75, we live on the more western side of the Eastern Time Zone. Its light out longer here, at least longer than Chicago or Milwaukee who are on the eastern side of the Central Time Zone. I’ll pause now so you stop the aneurysm from exploding in your brain. (Jeopardy Music Interlude)

Being a creative minded person, from the homo sapien dufus mathematicalus branch of the evolutionary tree, I nearly exhausted the treadmill running hamster in my skull thinking thoughts like “if it’s 5:30 and the sun is setting here means it’s 4:30 and soon to be dark there.” Where’s my bottle of Advil.

According to GAISMA website, which posts sunset/sunrise times for anywhere in the world, you can see that in just two weeks it’ll be light out in Cincinnati till 5:53pm. Nanny nanny boo boo Windy City. Clear your desk at P&G by 5:30pm and you might be able to commute home from work while it’s light out. In a month, it’ll be light out till 6:13pm and we just might be able to eek in an hour ride after work. In two weeks, it’ll still be dark at 5:30 in Milwaukee and Chicago. See for yourself. Cincinnati has the gaisma.

For those who don’t speak Latvian, "Gaisma" is a Latvian word, meaning "light". And, now you know the rest of the story.