Handlebar to Handlebar at 30mph

“Let me get the door for you Premium Rush,” my witty coworker greeted me as I wheeled my Niner mountain bike off the elevator and into my office.  I work at a radio station full of clever creatives.  I get it all the time.  I have to say, it made me chuckle.  He was the morning show host of our sister station.  After a day at work making commercials, in anticipation of a 6 hour race this weekend, I had planned to hit the dirt of Versailles State Park for a fast pre-ride yesterday.  Maybe his comment was a premonition, because I never made it to Versailles.  The day turned out to be a rush, but I rolled with it.

In bike racing things rarely go as planned.  Anywhere else it’s ugly old adversity, we call it the beauty of the sport.  Fitness, finesse, courage are balanced with luck, mechanics and nature.  We add grams to our side of the scale by learning, through experience, to put ourselves in the best possible position to succeed.  If that doesn’t work, there’s always a plan b.  We look ahead.  Calm, we find clear-headed serenity handlebar to handlebar at 30mph.  We note which wheels to trust, which to avoid.  We learn to read breakaways, counting the riders and teams up the road, anticipating who will attempt to bridge or bring them back.  We put wheels in the pit and pack a tube.  We pre-ride mountain bike courses to know ahead of time where we’ll need to lay down the power and where we can afford to coast and reach back into the jersey pocket for a GU.  Those same adaptive skills transfer into everyday life.  I’m convinced, athletes make better employees.

So between projects, with my mountain bike blurred out of focus in the shadow of my computer monitor, I checked the Hoosier Mountain Bike Assn. website waiting for a “green light” on the trails at Versailles State Park.  After a brief, but heavy rain the evening before, the trail status was a cautionary “yellow,” but with a warm less humid day to dry, I hoped it would change over 24 hours.  Plan B, was to make the 7pm mountain bike time-trail at England-Idlewild Park only 20 minutes from work.  Back and forth I went, mixdown Adobe Audition session to stereo 128Kbps 44100Hz mp3, check trail status.  “It’s pretty light commercial-wise here today,” I let slip to a coworker. 

Knocking on wood is bullshit paranoia.  What’s real and true is that if you ever let your lips slip out loud about how you haven’t had a flat tire in months; you will get a flat tire within the day.  Can a bike brotha get a “truth” high-five?  Smack!  A similar law applies at work.  Never mention how easy it is, a challenge demon lurks under the mixing board waiting to pounce at your words.

At 4:30pm the demon, or our chief engineer, crashed the computer.  Not my computer, THE COMPUTER.  The computer that holds every song, every commercial, and every jingle on every single one of four radio stations, took a big electronic demonic dump.  With no music or commercials, the DJ’s scrambled for words live on the air.  They filled with traffic, weather, and entertainment news, anything while someone grabbed some CDs. 

From the frantic rumble of voices in the hallway outside the main studio, my boss cracked the door to my studio directly across the hall.  “We’re going to miss some commercials,” she said.  As calm as if I were handlebar to handlebar at 30mph, I told her I had already notified the department that does the scheduling and was in the process of seeing if my system was operational.  Over the next 2 ½ hours we reverted to back up and re-did all the commercials since the last back-up on Monday. 

Right around the time the computer was restored, my wife texted that she was leaving for her ride, alone.  Bummed, I checked the HMBA website again.  Still yellow.  I looked at the clock, nearly 7pm.  It’d be fruitless to drive an hour only to be turned around by muddy trails.  Completely outfitted for a mountain bike ride, but too late to make the time trial, I rushed home by 7:20pm.  I left the Niner in the car, switched into my road shoes, jumped on my road bike and pedaled up to the local crit at Cincinnati's Ault Park.  A friend pinned the number on my back at 7:52pm, and by 8:01pm I was at peace at my first road race of the season, handlebar to handlebar at 30mph.

Being Eastwardly Challenged

Your internal compass functions equally in all directions.  Mine?  Not so much.  Maybe you lived your whole life in Indianapolis, the Circle City.  Columbus and Cincinnati are like Indianapolis, you can travel in all directions for miles and miles.  Count your blessings native buckeyes.  Same goes for those growing up with a baby bottle of Bourbon in Louisville.  Others, like me, grew up in a world devoid of easterly travel by land.  

A Milwaukeean by birth, while I have a wine aficionado type appreciation for the variety of cheese curds, I am forever directionally disabled.  So is the guy from Miami I met via email this week.

Aside from the Browns, I can relate with people in Cleveland, northwardly challenged.  Being from Milwaukee, like those who grew up in Chicago, I have no concept of east.  I’d assume riders in LA have a hard time with west.  West is ocean.  I was born with east meaning Great Lakes.  Joe go no east.

East is brow furrowing confounding to me.  When I give directions to someplace east of Cincinnati, I lack the typically manly confidence.  I slur out the word east with a slow point to the right.  “It’s about 8 miles eeeeaaaast of here.  Yep.  East.  That way.  That’s east, right?” 

Being eastwardly challenged has its rewards.  Anytime I’m east of town, I feel like I’m only a few minutes away, even if it’s 20 miles.  Being east of home has always meant close to home.  I could never stray too far without getting my feet wet.  My brain is lopsided.  If I were to create a graph, it’s nearly a 2 to one ratio.  2 miles west = 1 mile east in terms of feeling far from home.  This can be dangerous.  What feels like 14 miles, can easily be 30 miles.  Due to my condition, I’m more likely to bonk on a ride east of home.

I got an email from a guy living in Miami last week who asked for advice on the best area to live in Cincinnati and be close to good riding and far away from busy roads.  It was obvious he suffered my disability as well.  Logically, appearing a short drive to the city and an easy escape into rural riding on a map, he was considering Mason.  Mason!  I had to save him from the six-lane freeway as a main street hell-hole.

Mason is a suburban heaven, surrounded by a purgatory moat of traffic jams.  The only saving grace is the right hooks and middle finger throwing come from pretty women driving Lexus SUV’s.  I had to open his eyes to the circle city concept, where living more central to the city affords more pleasant riding in all directions, and consequently, living on the fringes, limits your options.  I live 5 miles from downtown Cincinnati.  I do most of my riding out my front door in all directions, even east.  In 13 years, I’ve never ridden my bike through Mason.  In fact, it’s avoided.  Conversely, the amount of riders passing the end of my urban street on any given week is probably in the hundreds.

When a city offers travel by road in all directions, people and traffic are more spread out.  Imagine how the dynamic of understanding a city would change if you took all the people on the Eastside of Cincinnati or Indianapolis or Louisville, and moved them all west from a centerline through downtown.  Welcome to Chicago, Miami and Milwaukee.  The size of the suburbs is double.

You can’t blame Miami guy.  In Miami, there’s a whole lot of life crammed in that little corner of Florida, let alone King James’ and Pitbull’s entourages.  It was obvious he has no concept of east as well, and occasionally wrestles with south.  There is definitely no east and only a little fart of outlet store highway leading south of Miami to the keys.  Every day, he has to navigate a dense suburban choking hell to lay wheels to peaceful asphalt somewhere north and/or west of the city.  I must have blown his mind when I told him the best places to live and ride in Cincinnati are actually closer to the city. 

The beauty of the circle city is on any given day, I can ride south in to the hills of Northern Kentucky, past the riverboats west along the Ohio River, north on the bike path to Loveland, Xenia and Dayton and yes, east.  Glorious east past the riches of Indian Hill, I can pedal through a covered bridge, down miles of one lane farm roads which eventually turn into switchbacks up the Appalachian Mountains and back down for hundreds of miles before east ever comes to an end with soaking wet feet.

Today I Met The Grey Bearded Biker

Cold steel, the bike doesn’t have bar tape.  I’ve lived in Cincinnati’s Columbia Tusculum neighborhood for four years and for four years on my commute in to downtown I’ve seen Grey Beard at least weekly riding in the opposite direction.  All year round, his outfit never seems to change: thick dark hoodie, weathered overalls, leather gloves, no helmet.  Some days I’m in my truck, other days I’m on a bike too.  Unbeknownst to him, occasionally we pass at the Montgomery Inn Boathouse, other days St. Rose Church always on Riverside Drive.  He rolls his drive side pants leg up, exposing a light tan leather boot top.  On colder days his messy crop of grey hair occasionally peeks from under a knit hat.  His unmistakable grey beard always catches the wind.  I met him today, it figures, at Starbucks.

Who is this guy who rides away from downtown on a beater at 8:15am?

Cincinnati’s East End and Columbia Tusculum neighborhoods along the riverfront are mixed.  3- 700 thousand dollar houses share the road with modest apartments and dilapidated structures eligible for the “We Buy Ugly Houses” people.  A barge/rail terminal sits adjacent to this month’s latest fire victim and next month’s new condo.  In this mix of wealth and poverty, industry and small business, luxury and staples, on any given Saturday morning a guy carrying a 12-pack under his arm while one-handing a beater mountain bike gets passed by a jogger with $150 shoes and an iPhone strapped to her upper arm.  I’d be stereotyping if both the guy with the 12-pack and the jogger weren’t my neighbors.  To each their own.  Question is where does Grey Beard fit in?

From the fleeting seconds I’ve seen Grey Beard from my truck at 35mph, the 25 year old relic of a bike looks like it was picked from the recycling pile behind the bike shop.  It’s a dirty purple, maybe maroon, with down tube shifters and platform pedals, sort of like the one pictured without the racks.  The seat post is low, but fits his legs.  The bars are turned down and he’s stretched out.  His hands engulf the small hoods, brake lever and all.  All-that aside, he rides with remarkable speed, confidence and form: knees in, back low, beard in the breeze.  What intrigues me the most about this oddity is the lock and chain knotted around the bars and quill stem.  He obviously cares about the bike. 

It's no surprise.  He said he got the bike from a friend’s shed for nothing.  I met him today for the first time at Starbucks, of all places.  I held the door for him as he walked in behind me and struck up a conversation.  “Hey.  I see you nearly every week on my way to work.”  Well spoken, he says he’s almost home.  He works overnights downtown.  He’s on his way home when I’m on my way to work.  He is a neighbor and the bike is an old Miyata.  He invested $250 into it to keep it alive.  Up close, aside from being weathered, the bike sports newer tires.  The cables, saddle, and wheels seem to be in decent shape.  It’s solid vintage steel.  He says he knows his bike isn’t pretty, but it gets the job done, 12 miles a day. 

He asked if I ride and what kind of bike I have.  “I ride a Kuota" clarifying, "an Italian bike.”  I kick myself thinking I was too pretentious with the Italian comment, but he asks if it’s one of those “really light ones.”  "Yep.  It’s carbon fiber.”  Half expecting a roll of the eyes, he says something like, “Man, I just love the brakes on those newer bikes.”  I mention how well they modulate speed.  He understands.  He’s genuinely interested talking bikes.  We're clicking, but the barista was too quick.  My coffee is ready.  Sadly, I didn't have time for a picture.  “Have a good day,” I say.

As I pull my big dumb SUV out of the lot on Earth Day, the Starbucks door swings open.   With coffee in hand, he walks toward his Miyata, now appearing much cooler than the first time I had seen it.  My roof rack catches his eye and he waves.  Affirming, I wave back.  We’re two bike guys, one punching in, the other punching out.

Easter Miracle: Nearly Killed by Frank Costanza

He should feel lucky.  Lucky that it wasn’t someone who didn’t grow up with the high score on Frogger, someone new to cycling out for their first sunny sixty degree ride after months of dreadful Cincinnati weather, someone without years of experience deftly picking their way through packs of drunken Chicagoans at Milwaukee’s Summerfest, someone who hasn’t been racing and riding long enough to count a Breezer Thunder among the bikes in the man cave, someone who didn’t just get back from a week of mountain descending in Georgia, someone who doesn’t burn a Sven Nys Prayer Candle.  It would’ve been different then, bloody limbless Walking Dead different I’m sure. 

There would’ve been Easter leftovers all over the car and shrieks and screams and a ceremonial reading of the RoadID and sirens and backboards and stuffed animals knocked off the rear window shelf and endless calls to the geniuses in medical billing departments and physical therapy and lawsuits and insurance premiums that would make a wee-wee pig choke on a gecko.  Instead, up in the air was the back of my Italian hand and a shout, “What are you trying to F-ing kill me!?” 

I almost got hit by a car yesterday.  Of course he wasn’t trying to kill me.  Of course I couldn’t think of anything more clever to say like, “didn’t they teach you to love thy neighbor in church this morning?”  However, he should feel lucky it wasn’t someone else.  It would’ve been much more than a close call and a blog full of theatrical language and long sentences strung together with the word “and.”

Please don’t take this as being cocky.  If you know me, I’m not one to brag and I don’t make wiener jokes.  I still have a lot to learn on a bike, like being able to farmer blow my nose.  I simply had control.  My hands, fingers wrapped around the bars, gripped the drops.  Hips slightly back, my thighs held the saddle.  Sorry if that sounded too 50 Shades of Grey for you.  Erie Avenue in Cincinnati is a very popular thoroughfare for cyclists, a main road taking riders east from the city to the rolling hills and scenic Little Miami River Valley.  The bike-lane header photo on the main page of this blog is from Erie Avenue.  It’s about a 1.5 mile hill.  I was headed down.  The light was green.    

There was a woman with light reddish-brown curly hair in the passenger seat.  With thinning unkempt hair, he was driving a green older model boxy Dodge sedan.  So yeah, a slightly younger version of Mr. and Mrs. Costanza were about to run me down sit-com style in a car very similar to one on Seinfeld.  Or, at least that’s what it appeared to me in the span of less than 3 seconds and an ish-timated speed of 28-ish mph. 

Across from the bar and bistro, I was about to pass the dry cleaner on the right.  It could’ve been the sunshine or my sunglasses, but the Costanza car windows seemed tinted yellow.   I’m guessing he didn’t see me or misjudged my speed.  Either way, his speed never changed as he turned left in front of me.  Recalling pretty much everything aside from whether or not there was a hula girl on the dash, I don’t remember seeing a blinker.

Very Similar to Kramer's Ford LTD

It’s amazing how fast the brain and body work together, like they’re connected with nerves or something.  Immediately, at the speed Mr. Costanza started his turn, I knew I wasn’t going to eek past on my current line.  I like to read the foll-oh-ing in a slow-mo-shun-voice and use robot hand gestures.  I threw my weight back and squeezed the brake levers, slowing as fast as possible.  I remember focusing quickly, then looking away from, his shiny green chrome trimmed wheel well and passenger side quarter panel, the point of impact I later judged.  Still too fast to cut a quick hard right turn, I eased to the right, aiming roughly for the far corner of the intersection, a wheel chair curb ramp, between him and a car on the cross street stopped at the light. 

It still didn’t look good, like Elaine dancing.  I threw the bike harder right and grabbed more brake.  The rear end kicked left toward his car, slightly skidding.  Looking back, the change of direction maybe bought me a fraction of a second and/or caught his attention.  Mr. Costanza slammed on the brakes.   I corrected and, with a few feet to spare on either side, skated through the gap untouched and on the main road.  I didn’t need to exit via the wheel chair ramp.  It was real and spectacular.

I was calm and collected until I was safe.  That’s when I looked back, the hand came up and the colorful Easter language came out.  With his window down, I know he saw and heard it, (so did the people in the black car stopped at the light) then they were gone out of sight up the side street.  I continued down the hill. 

I remember thinking I should be freaked out, but not a single goosebumb popped up.  The Garmin confirmed my heart rate wasn’t jacked.  In recollection, the incident seemed oddly calculated and clinical, like when soldiers train through a mock urban ambush on TV.  Shoot the pop-up bad guys, don’t shoot the kid.  With squirrels, trees, rocks, holes, other bikes, dogs, deer, and cars, I’ve been in situations like this dozens, if not a hundred times before.  I’ve been riding bikes long enough to have the confidence that I’ll save it, or at least do everything I can to save it, until I don’t.  For me, it wasn’t luck at all.

He’s lucky it wasn’t a less experienced rider, someone who freaks out in crowded elevator, a rider that may have panicked and slammed on the brakes and straight skidded into the car or tried to turn too abruptly and comically top-sided with too much speed.   He’s lucky I maintain my bike and brush it’s hair.  It has new cables and tires.  It’s routinely cleaned and lubed, including checking the brakes, tire pressure and scrubbing the rims of grit.  He’s lucky I treat parked cars and intersections with more respect than a skier slicing up gates on a Super-G downhill and had the sense to keep my speed in check on a busy descent where a rider could easily top 35mph.  He’s lucky I ride with my eyes up, take descents in the drops, always keep my fingers wrapped about the bars and saw his car long enough to describe his passenger’s uncanny resemblance to Mrs. Costanza before he saw me.  Oh Georgie!  As I write, I hope Frank’s sharing my thoughts, it’s a miracle he didn’t hit someone with his car on Easter Sunday.  

King’s Int’l CX brings World Champion to Cinci

Limited Edition James Billiter Poster Available Here

The Belgians are coming to Cincinnati, and so are the Swiss, Czech and the Danes.  With the Cyclocross World Championships coming to Louisville, many of the World’s best cyclocross racers are choosing to keep their legs fresh by racing at the King’s International Cyclocross race Saturday, January 26th at Kingswood Park off Irwin-Simpson Road in Mason.  We hope to see you there, perhaps eating a Taco, drinking a beer and ringing a cowbell.  With the attention of the world wide cycling media, this is the Ohio Valley's chance to show the world Cincinnati's scene.  

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for cycling fans in Cincinnati to get a photo, an autograph and even race with the best Cyclocross racers in the World.  Elite women start at 2pm Eastern, men at 3:30pm.  The event is free and open to the public.  Fans can enjoy food and drink from area food truck vendors while watching the racing action.  Proceeds benefit the Lionhearts Junior Cycling Program based in Cincinnati, the next generation of area riders.

This is also the only opportunity for fans to see the World Champion Niels Albert race in rainbow stripes, others in National Champion colors and sponsor team kits from around the globe.  In Louisville, racers will wear the colors of their national federation team.  Noted confirmed riders attending include: World Champion Niels Albert (BKCP-Powerplus), US National Champion Jonathan Page (Engvt), and the 2012 US National Champion Jeremy Powers (Rapha-Focus).  On the women’s side fans will be treated to the USA’s Georgia Gould (LUNA) and Meredith Miller (Cal-Giant) along with former Czech champion Katerina Nash (LUNA), Swiss National Champion Jasmine Achermann (Rapha-Focus), and European Continental Champion Helen Wyman (KONA).

While the professional riders see the race as a tune-up for the World Championships in Louisville, locals see an opportunity to tow the line with the best in the world or simply see stars of the sport compete in their backyard.  The Cincinnati Cyclocross race is presented by Toyota, Reece-Campbell General Contractors, United Dairy Farmers, Magnum Ice Cream, DeFeet and Enzo’s.

Race director Corey Green says, “It is a rare opportunity to witness our US elite up against European elites in a non-Worlds environment.  It is also a rare opportunity to race as an amateur on the same course, on the same day as the reigning World Champion. We may be the first opportunity in the US to say that.”

Kings CX is home to the Lionhearts Junior Racing team, a 53 member juniors only team with kids ranging from 8 to 15 years old.  The event is a fundraiser for the team.  The Lionhearts will be running a chili and waffles stand, as well as selling coffee and hot chocolate.  Food trucks will also be on site.


A full schedule of events will be featured at Kings beginning at 8:30am for beginners, juniors, and masters.  Registration is at BikeReg.

#CXWorlds Super Cross Sunday February 3rd

European Guide to Ohio Valley

Louisville isn’t Brussels.  Cincinnati isn’t Zolder.  The elderly Belgian men in overcoats and wool driving caps hanging over the tape shaking a fist aren’t coming to Louisville.  As much as supporters may like to deport him, the young man who threw the beer at Sven doesn’t have a plane ticket.  Frites aren’t the same as French fries.  While we may see a Dirk Hofman Motorhomes sign poke above the crowd, a rowdy bunch of Netherlanders in orange and a Lion of Flanders flag or two, the majority of fans lining the entry to “The Green Monster” at the Cyclocross World Championships in Louisville on Super Bowl Cross Sunday will be mostly bike racers and their families from Kentucky, Ohio, and Indiana.  Sure, some Masters die-hards from the North East, a few Yoopers from Michigan, a handful of flatlanders and contingents from Colorado and North Carolina will find a corner of the course to call home.  For the most part however, the crowd will be the Ohio valley cycling crowd: OVCX racers, the mountain bikers, the roadies, and the century fueled members of the Cincinnati and Bluegrass Cycling clubs.  Louisville Worlds is what we make it.

Masters Worlds Finish 2012

We’ve all wondered how it would be to see a cross race in Belgium with a cacophony of languages drowning our ears, but that sound will be drawled out in Louisville.  About the only thing that will be the same is the sport, the cowbells and seeing your breath in the air.  On the bright side, you won’t have to cock your head sideways to read a confusing Flemish food truck menu.  You won’t need to bring Euros.  You can use Kentucky dollars.  Here in the Ohio Valley, in your Carhartt overalls, North Face Jacket and Hunter boots, you’ll be the scene.  The crowd on “Rachel’s Drop” isn’t going to be six people deep unless you pack the kids in your Caravan.  And by Caravan, we mean mini-van, not camper.  I’m not counting on Belgian waffles.  I’ll likely be armed with a concealed thermos of Cincinnati chili.  Of course, there may or may not be a flask of Bourbon tucked into a chest pocket.  If you dare to poach some free advertising, believe it or not the local motor home dealer is Tom Raper RV.  However, I don’t think you’ll go that far.  I do expect to see a tempting piece of bacon on a fishing pole.  I’m hoping for burgers and burritos under a wave of stars and stripes.  We’ll shout “go go go!”  And, we’ll heckle. 

A Bacon Hand Up at Eva Bandman

Boy will we heckle.  Because come February 4th, the sight of your European cross heroes blasting through the Eva Bandman sand, the chance to ring a cowbell in front of World Champion stripes, the opportunity to shout “Allez” in front of a real French rider, all of it will be gone.  The courses at Eva Bandman and Kings CX will return to the quiet dog walking parks they usually are in winter.  The barge traffic will be the star along the Ohio River.  Louisville will look ahead to the Derby.  The Cincinnati suburb of Mason won’t see another European athlete until the Tennis Masters Tournament.  You’ll go back to the gym and the Sunday group ride to once again day dream about the big day, the big race.  Only, there won’t be a race as big and as close for a long long time (Richmond in 2015.)

One Footer at Masters Worlds 2012

Still for some, sadly it’ll be too cold, too far, and they might have to pry open a frugal Midwest wallet to make the trip to (gasp!) watch other people ride bikes.  Oh yeah.  For the record football fans, no matter where you live in the Ohio Valley, the race will end right around 3:30pm Eastern, plenty of time to drive home before the Superbowl begins.

Set your excuses aside.  The days you’ve been dreaming about are here, a few days away with Kings CX in Cincinnati and the big show in Louisville.  World Champion Neils Albert and other European pros will mix it up with the best in the US.  This isn’t another UCI weekend, another USGP.  This isn’t a chance to see a European cross race.  This is a chance to see the biggest cross races, no, the biggest bike races you’ll likely ever see without a plane ticket to Europe, (California if you’re soft.)  For Sven Nys’ sake, you can’t miss this.  Because it’s not a question of whether you’ll experience something amazing, but what amazing thing you’ll experience.  

Click here for tickets and more information.

"One Ride of a Lifetime" by Marty Sanders

The alarm rang at five in the morning.  I sipped my coffee.  It sank in.  I have to ride to West Virginia today.  I said goodbye to my cat, locked up, and looked at my watch.  6:49am.  Already 49 minutes behind schedule, with the turn of the key in the front door, Marty Sanders left Cincinnati on a bike trip to Northern Virginia to help his sister move.  4 days.  527 miles.  This is his story.

Story By Marty Sanders (edited by Joe Bellante)

Through high school and early adulthood, I called Northern Virginia home for 12 years.  My sister and I stayed behind as the rest of our family moved back to Cincinnati.  At one point or another, my Father made me an offer to make the move and join him in the Queen City.  He helped me out and BAM.  Here I am in the land of 3-way cheese coneys. 

As for my sister, my Father extended a similar offer, but pursuing a career working for the government, she wasn’t ready.  I missed her and for many years tried to persuade her to return.  17 years later, I got the call. 

With a job offer from a good firm in Cincinnati, she was ready and asked me if I’d be willing to drive a U-Haul for her.  No problem.  She set a date for the move, September 21^st.   I immediately thought, “I’m going to ride my bicycle to Virginia.”

As most of my friends know, I’ve been nursing a shoulder injury, not racing, training for fun, and trying to get back to riding long distances pain free.  Despite the shoulder, when Prudence asked me to drive the truck, I was all in.  I started training a bit more: climbing stairs, running, and feeling pretty good.  The day after she called, I started making plans and put together a list.

1-Build racks.

2-Assemble gear.

3-Figure out route. 

A Welcome Stop

My Salsa El Mariachi was the bike of choice, super comfortable and very trustworthy.  It took me a few weeks to dial in the racks.  I increased my spinning, riding distances and acclimated to the extra heft of a big load.  

I’d cross the Appalachian Mountains.  To simulate the effort, I did hill repeats on Cincinnati’s Sycamore Street and one of my other local favorites, I refer to as “storm peats”.  I figured I’d be good.  I love to climb.

I’ve never toured or bike packed before so I attempted to pack for every unseen scenario: rain, low temperatures, camping, etc.  This was an entirely new experience.  

In the end my plan was simple.  Follow Route 50 East from Cincinnati to Fairfax Virginia, hang a right on Ox Road and finish by raising a pint glass of beer in Occoquan.  Specifically, I’d ride from Cincinnati to Parkersburg West Virginia (227+ miles) the first day and from Parkersburg to Augusta via the Northbend Rail Trail (200 miles) the second day.  On the third and toughest day, I’d pedal from Augusta to Occoquan/Lakeridge (100miles).  3 days.  527 miles.

I figured 15 hours a day with a comfortable average of 13mph would be sufficient.  In case of weather or mechanicals, I cooked up a contingency plan allowing 2 extra days if need be.  As a fail safe, my brother and sister’s boyfriend were going to make the drive from Cincinnati a few days later, which would allow me to be picked up in case of disaster or worse, giving up. 

Two weeks prior to the ride, my sister called telling me a local paper (Old Bridge Observer) was interested in doing a piece.  I agreed to an interview and had a 20 minute conversation about my thoughts before the trip.  They also chatted with my sister and used it for the article, a front page story.  Now, before even clipping in, it’s public.  People are watching.  There was no turning back. 

I was nervous.  As I honed my training, ate like a horse and mentally prepared, the days leading up to the departure flew by.  Still, I felt like a child standing in line to ride a rollercoaster for the first time, only this child was the front page story of the Old Bridge Observer. 

I gained six pounds preparing for the trip, although I really couldn’t see it.  I assumed it was in my legs as I’ve been riding up Sycamore and Mt. Storm for a month with a 75lb bicycle.  The last few days, I took it easy.  On the eve of the trip, I had a big Indian dinner with a few friends and family.  Maybe I had a beer too many, as I got to bed late. 

The alarm rang at five in the morning.  I sipped my coffee.  It sank in.  I have to ride to West Virginia today.  I wrestled with anxiety and nervously quadruple checked everything.  I said goodbye to my cat, locked up, and looked at my watch, 6:49am, already 49 minutes behind schedule. 

Another Beautiful Vista

Cincinnati to Athens

As I meandered my way through Mariemont and out the suburbs of Cincinnati using my old commuting route, every turn of the pedals quelled my anxiety.  I picked up the Little Miami Scenic Trail at Bass Island in Newtown.  It was quiet, relaxing.  I thought to myself, it’s another bike ride.  No pressure.  Keep pedaling.  All will be good.   

I left the trail at Milford for the road.  The town was setting up for an event, everyone was full of smiles.   I was greeted by some “good mornings”.   To keep the good vibe going as I turned toward rural Ohio, I popped in one ear bud and hit shuffle.  I pedaled, jammed and enjoyed my moving picture soundtrack all the way to Hillsboro.

Along the way, I stopped at rest areas scattered along Route 50 in Ohio. They aren’t much, a shelter and porta-poddy, but perfectly spaced every 30 miles.  I found great appreciation for them. 

A group of motorcycles rumbled past.  When I hit the next small town, I’d catch them.  We leap-frogged each other.  They revved their engines.  Brrrrappabababapp.  Those bad boys were LOUD!   Assuming it was a sign of respect, they gave me plenty of room as the passed. 

Following the signs for Route 50, all went well until Chillicothe at the intersection of Route 50 and Highway 23.  Beyond that, cars came less frequently.  Hills started coming quicker.  Worried, I turned on the Garmin.

“Acquiring Satellites.”

I ditched technology for good old local knowledge.  I spun down a long gravel driveway and asked a couple drinking Busch Light if this was Route 50.  Nope.  I had inadvertently misread the signs and traveled 10 miles out of my way on Highway 23.  Thankfully, they offered a short cut back over to 50.  As good as the beer looked, I held back the urge to ask for one, turned and waved a thank you. 

As the sunlight started to fade, I picked up the pace. Approaching Athens, the traffic increased exponentially.  For safety, I moved to the shoulder.  Despite the trash, tires, debris and very deep rumble strips, it was the lesser of two dangers. 

A blood red sunset greeted me in Athens for a dinner stop.  Buffalo or BW3, I’m not sure what it was.  I had a seat in the window and ate a burger with an eye on my bike.  Energetic Ashley took my order.  She inquired about my ride and told me a wonderful horror story of hitting a deer and tires on Route 50.  Thanks for the positive vibe! 

Now dark, I pushed through the last 40 miles to Parkersburg.  Trucks flew by.  I cringed as I heard tires gargle on the rumble strips behind me.  Despite 3 tail lights and 2 visible reflectors, I nervously rode back to the edge of Athens and booked a room at the Super 8. 

A first floor disabled equipped room allowed space to spread out with all my gear.  I showered, downed a protein shake, pop- tarts, two ibuprofen, and I was out. 

170 miles.

Athens to Bridgeport

Waffles, I love waffles!  I woke up on Sunday morning feeling remarkably good at breakfast.  Still, checking out of the hotel, a drape of anxiety fell over me.  It disappeared quickly as the first song hit my ear from my mp3 player.  Very much like the road leading into Athens, the tightness in my shoulder opened up a bit too.  At ease with a wide shoulder on the road, I made such good time into Parkersburg, WV I missed a planned stop in Belpre. 

I crossed into West Virginia over a big bridge and was abruptly greeted with a huge climb.  I huffed over looking forward toward the relative ease Northbend Rail Trail, a 70 mile smooth and flat railroad path featuring eleven tunnels and numerous bridges.  I only had to find the trail head.

In the area where I thought it was, I asked a few locals at a gas station if they’d heard of it.  No one knew.  So I popped in the police station.  A young lady working pointed out, like all things in West Virginia, it was right around the corner. 

Huge homes, ponds, stables, and pretty gardens lined the road leading to the trailhead.  Amazingly beautiful, but oddly out of place for the rural area I was in.  Then, there it was, in the middle of all rich scenery, the Northbend Rail Trail. 

My Salsa ate up the wide double track goodness.  12 miles clicked off in no time.  Off the road and out of traffic, I was rolling pretty quickly.  I guess I was a bit excited because I didn’t see the long black snake stretched across the trail till I was right on top of him.  Sorry Mr. Snake.  I thought about stopping, but not knowing if it was poisonous or not made the decision easy.  Then came the tunnels.

Dark Tunnel on the Northbend Trail

I’m glad I had lights or I’d have been in trouble.   A few tunnels were so long the darkness hid the exit.  Others were short enough to be lit end to end.  At times in the tunnels, I had to ride close to the wall to get the reflection to cast on the floor.  I experienced a bit of vertigo in one, as if the floor was coming out from under me.  I hit something.  My arms shook. My bike rattled.  I kept it upright.  I couldn’t see, but I’m guessing I ran over a large stone which had fallen from the ceiling.  I suspect that’s where I lost my rain jacket and a shoe cover. 

Northbend’s bridges took me high above creeks and the path wound past remnants of towns, sometimes directly through backyards.  At one point, I rode around a parked car on the trail.  40 miles in, it got a bit rougher. 

Double track turned to single, then thick grass.  Obviously, this deep in West Virginia, the trail sees few riders.  30 miles later, I suspected I had hit the terminus in Clarksburg.  A guy walking near the trail asked where I was headed.  “Clarksburg,” I replied.  “You’ve got about 15-20 miles to go,” he answered.  I swear the maps showed the rail trail ending here, but obviously it appeared to continue on.  What a mess it turned out to be. 

Soon enough, the path deteriorated into a four wheeler trail.  While the first 70 miles were dusty and dry, this was pocked with mud holes.  After 2 miles splashing through mud holes on a 75 pound bike, I bailed for the lesser of two evils, a steep road with 3 nasty switchbacks.  Eventually, it intersected Route 50. 

Smooth pavement was a relief.  I rolled straight through Clarksburg past Grafton, then the town of Bridgeport.  With an hour of daylight left, I coasted down a big hill through and out of town.  Right back up I went.  Thirsty, I reached the top of the climb and pulled over.  I grabbed my bottles from my rear rack to switch them for the spent bottles on the bike frame.  All empty.  I forgot water.

Back to Bridgeport I pedaled, back up that hill, back to the start of town.  Rather than filling up, with a warm cozy Travel Lodge in sight, I pulled the plug for the day, an easy decision after more than 130 miles.  I settled in with an entire large pizza, some crazy good feta spinach bread, and drank 2 beers.  The next day would be the toughest. 

300 Miles.

Double Track of Northbend Trail

Bridgeport to Romney

The 300 mile weekend aside, I felt pretty good for a Monday.  I slathered thick cream cheese on my bagel.  Bruegger’s doesn’t lay on the cream cheese like I did.  I drank all the coffee in the pot packing up. It was going to be tough.  A few minutes past 8 a.m., I was ready to roll! 

Sunny with lingering clouds, it was great weather for climbing.  I switched on the music.  Up and down small hills, the soundtrack lasted three hours before the batteries went dry.  Then the grade kicked up, 3 miles at nine percent. 

Have you ever climbed for 3 miles?  Most of my friends would answer “Yup, piece of cake.”  On a 75 pound bike?  For those that have toured on a bike, I give mad respect and props to you. 

On a rig like this, you can’t simply power up climbs.  With panniers, stuffed bags, a mini-bike shop of tools, four full bottles, it’s about spinning easy gears.  Otherwise your knees and Achilles tendon suffer, 300 miles from home.   The long steep climbs continued all day.  The weight and the distance took their toll. 

I remember at one point seeing the sign for the turn to Elkins.  I thought I could call Uncle Andy and roll on down to visit.  I resisted the urge.  75 miles in, I was getting tired.  My knees and Achilles ached.  I gave in.

I found a section of gravel trail which led back off the road.  I rolled back, sat in the dirt and stretched.  I stoked the engine with a big apple I had stashed in my bag from the hotel buffet.  It was just what I needed and I got back to it. 

Now at the base of a seemingly endless climb that offered little shoulder, I rode the white line, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 miles at nine percent.  45 minutes later I crested and was rewarded with the sight of the downhill warning sign for trucks.  “Steep Grade Next 5 Miles.” 

While my legs got a break, my hands and upper body went to work.  Riding down a mountain with gear is tiring as well.  Braking becomes hard work.   Becoming all over body fatigued, the wind was leaving my sail. 

Thankfully, I was welcomed with flatter roads in the valley.  However, with ten miles to Romney, now on the other side of the mountain, the weather changed.  It began to rain, not a down pour, but steady enough to get me good and soaked.  Despite being a warm rain, when I hit Romney I pulled the plug.

After 10 hours, 107 miles, 9,355 feet of elevation gain with 75lbs of gear, I can’t muster the brain strength to break out my Martmatic skills and impress you with algebraic equations of caloric expenditures and watts generated.  Basically, Marty=CRUSHED! 

At the base of the mountain, I checked into a hotel, ordered another large pizza, and lethargy turned to deep sleep. 

407 Miles.                                                                                                                                                               

Coming To A Bike Shop Near You

Romney WV to Winchester VA

I awoke before sunrise to the sound of wet tires rolling on asphalt.  I lay in bed simply listening to the light taps of rain on the window and the occasional wet whoosh of a truck.  I turned on The Weather Channel to see what was up.  Wow.  Crap weather. That’s what was up.  While only light rain fell outside my hotel window, the area was expecting off and on down pours all day.  In the home stretch and determined to finish the ride today, I decided to suit up and try and beat the nasty stuff.  It was 4 a.m.

Two days ago, with the bump in the tunnel I had lost my rain jacket and a shoe cover.  I had to get creative and improvise.  In my pack I had zip lock bags, 2 small garbage bags, and a limited length of duct tape.  I sealed my helmet with the zip lock.  Garbage bags became socks/shoe covers.  With the remaining zip lock parts, I tried fashioning under-jersey shoulder covers, but it was useless.  Head and feet covered, I pulled out of Romney on a mission. 

In the dark, in the rain, the last day started with a three mile climb.  The sun rose.  Not that I actually saw it, but it was up none the less.  I remember looking down to discover my pannier was open.  I pulled over to zip it closed and realized my kick stand had been down since I left town.  Silly me.  I got a good laugh and continued. 

The first 10 miles of the ride was all climbs, long, slow, granny gear, 75 pound bike, feet covered in garbage bags slow climbs.  My plan of leaving early and beating the heavy stuff failed.  Now it came down hard, real hard!  There was nowhere to hide. 

I figured the smart thing was to keep my head and core warm.  I rode hunched over breathing through my nose to limit moisture intake.  Knowing that digestion of food will elevate body temperature (thanks to Survivorman Les Shroud), I ate a granola bar.  After an hour in the pounding rain, my shoulder started aching, a deep ache in the area I injured. 

Not really having a place to stop and not wanting to get sick from standing around getting cold, I pressed on…for two more hours.  It was like the storm was above me the entire ride teasing me with brief periods of light rain which goaded me to continue forward.  Standing water collected on the road blurring my view. 

I saw the “Welcome to Winchester, Virginia” sign and felt relieved I was rolling into a town that could offer shelter from this madness.  I passed on the photo op. 

Whoa!  A few miles from town I hit a set of railroad tracks that almost took me out.  I’ve ridden tracks 100’s of times and never had this happen.  The weight in the front wheel was the difference.  I wrestled to keep the bike up without wrecking!  I was a lucky man.    

Pounded by rain for three solid hours, the last few miles into Winchester dragged on.  I was soaked, pruning, and my shoulder…ugh.  When I saw the IHOP sign, it wasn’t a hard decision.  All-You-Can-Eat pancakes and whip cream, “That should make me feel better!” 

Outside under the awning, I shook off the rain and checked the radar on my phone.  There would be no respite.  “Grrrr.  I’m 1.5 hours drive from my goal.”  I sat down on the bench and thought about what I had just done.  

This decision wasn’t easy for me to make.  I always try to finish what I start.  I’m very goal oriented.  Not making this one bothered me.  This entire ride was full of decisions.  Now I made another.  This is no race.  I’ve ridden 500 miles.  I’m in Virginia.  I’m tired, aching, and frankly my ass hurts!  I called my sister and asked, or more like told her to come get me.  “I’m at the Winchester IHOP on Route 50.  You can’t miss me.”

Who would have guessed there were 2 IHOPS in Winchester on Route 50!  Sorry Sis. 

In comfort, I warmed up and stuffed my face.  They didn’t have the All-You-Can-Eat option, but I won’t hold it against them.  I took a few Ibuprofens and drank coffee.  My shoulder began to feel better.  All in all, life was good today. 

I’m very thankful for my life in general.  Experience is what life’s about and I added a major one.  Even without riding the last 60 miles, I retained my sense of accomplishment.  I had a great trip, by no means easy.  Looking back, the lack of shoulder and speeding traffic jostled my nerves.  Slow down people!  What are you in such a hurry for? 

Ultimately, we live and then we die.  It’s the cycle of life.  Our job is to experience as much of life as we can before we reach the end.  That is the goal I’ve set.  I believe it’s in my genes.  It’s what drives me to do what I do. 

So…what’s next?