S4: E1: #CCCNYR Pre-ride - the return of Goose Poop Hill

Its Friday, January 4th and our main characters are headed to Chicago, specifically Indian Lakes Resort, on a pre-ride mission. Racing is always more comfortable when you have a pre-ride in the day before to settle on what is fact or fiction about a course, so for those of you arriving after dark (including Biker Joe, who is somewhere paying tolls as I type this) here is a preview of the course.

Nickzilla!

Our three juniors hit the course a little after 3:00 PM CST. Wait...three juniors? Didn't we cover this in the last installment - we have two protagonists? Well, in 2013 we introduce a new player (or playa as he says himself) to the mix with Nicholas "Nickzilla" Petrov. Being only 9 years old we can't really delve too deeply into the details that make Nick tick, but I think we can easily divulge that Nick has "the moves" and will be a fun addition to the traveling circus.

Goose Poop Hill - frozen solid.

If you recall from last year, the main element at Indian Lakes is a hill affectionately referred to as "Goose Poop Hill" based on its construction. Apparently the way to build a hill in some place as flat as Chicago is to collect all the aeration cores, grass clippings and golf course waste and pile it in one place. After a while a hill is formed. Because it is golf course waste the ground is soft and sticky and particularly on the 2nd day last year started freezing to bikes, shoes, skin, and generally anything above the ground that was warm and receptive.

The problem with Goose Poop Hill this year is that it won't really factor into the mix. You see the hill is so frozen it would take a week of direct sunlight to thaw it to the muddy exquisiteness it was last year. In fact the whole course is frozen enough that workers were seen drilling holes for all stakes - including the simple metal point step in stakes commonly used for cyclocross.

This year will be about speed and using your big ring. With the wind in your back you can coast for long stretches of the course as if you were riding pavement on your road bike. Pack riding could be a reality for tomorrow's races.
 

After a fast start and a couple sweeper, this will be the site of the first bottle neck - double 180 off cambers

Large berm exits on the sand pits make line selection important

Racing Snake Alley

Looking at all the pictures and listening to all the lore, Snake Alley's focus is on the fabled climb of the crookedest street. The climb certainly doesn't disappoint and watching racers through the day it certainly is a difference maker.

We saw more than one instance of racers getting cut off in corners, falling over and being forced to walk the uphill cobbles in road cleats. There were several instances of racers being weighted too far onto their front wheel, slipping the rear tire, losing all momentum and pretending to have Turrets Syndrome for a few moments. All caught by someone on camera to live in infamy on the internets over the next few days. If you kept track of riders you could also track guys that nailed the start, were first up the hill, and then got lapped about 4 laps later.

One of the unseen parts of the race, everyone is up on the hill to watch, is the cyclocross start. The first time through Snake Alley is less than 1/10th of a mile from the start with a 90 degree corner along the way. In crits you always want to be toward the front, but in this crit you HAVE to be up front immediately.

Having just completed Ault Park this past week you get a false sensation of what starts are like - no one seems to ever be in a hurry to get moving right away. At Snake Alley guys are sprinting off the line to get to the hill in the front ten as if they were OJ Simpson trying to get through an airport.

The climb is the evident focus of the crit, but as they say what goes up must come down. If you step back and think through the logic and do some calculations you realize half the course is about having the kajones to descend through four corners of a crit at break neck speed.

After climbing up a 21% grade, bringing your heart to near explosion, you have to take a right turn, stare down an 8%-10% grade, turn right, descend more, turn left, descend more, turn right, carry all your speed and turn right again. Doing this alone might be fun and interesting. You could Strava your downhill speed and brag to your neighbor. But here you have to do it with all your freshly minted racing friends, whom you have never raced with, surrounding you.

The climb at Snake Alley gets all the attention, but the descent is underrated.

Arrival: Mud Insensitivity #cccnyr

TBBBE Stock 4-Runner Photo

Friday we loaded up the Toyota 4-Runner and ended up in a caravan with another Toyota 4-Runner, once again the official race vehicle of the The Best Bike Blog Ever, and headed north. It will come as no surprise to anyone that just like the last several races in the OVCX series it rained from the time we left our driveway until we reached Indian Lakes Resort in suburban Chicago. Good thing I packed that 33 gallon drum of chain lube.

The odd part was I didn't care. Am I tired of cleaning bikes? Yes. Am I tired of lubing chains and replacing bottom brackets? Yes. After two days of promoting Kings CX in derailleur clogging, hanger breaking mud it didn't phase me in the slightest. Was I expecting mud when I signed up for Chicago and Madison a couple months ago? Not in the slightest. Of course I could have sub-consciously realized that mud and 46 degrees beats the pants off icy and 20 degrees - THAT is what I expected.

Upon arrival we set into motion and started preparing ourselves to pre-ride and set up. We obtained Club Row treatment through ChiCrossCup and got to set up our tent in advance just feet from the starting grid. This is a primo setup, with tents on either side of us to secure everyone together from the Chicago wind and literally be able to hear our names during callups from our tents. Stay warm to the last minute kids.

Showing that I have been completely desensitized to the mud, I put on my shoes, a rain jacket, and my helmet a rode a lap of a very wet course in my jeans. Surprisingly the ground was very, very wet, but very, very firm. The course reminded me of Storm the Greens back in its heyday with its flat runs, a few small off camber hills, and some sculpted and contoured sand pits. Mostly it was flat with lots of straight aways. It was very calm today, and I think as a result I am not taking into account factor that race day might bring - wind. Chicago is well known for its wind and with long flats and wide open spaces that wind could make or break your day. They put wind turbines in the fields on I-65 for a reason.

Mackenzie and Spencer try to walk Goose Poop Hill

For technical features there are two notable features. The first is a "hill", literally the only hill taller than my official TBBBE race vehicle on the entire course - and for as far as you could see in the misty, wet day. That hill appears to be very special in its construction, something you can only get on a golf course. It is constructed of waste material from the course maintenance - literally consisting of grass clipping, extra sand, goose poop, aeration cores, and whatever else might have been collected in the grass catcher of the lawn mower. Walking up the hill we realized we shouldn't have. My shoes weighed about 5 pounds each by the time I got back to the bottom. Whether this is rideable or not will depend on the weather - but if you have to run it, you are not going to clip in clean. The hill was quickly nicknamed "Goose Poop Hill".

Sand trap love, Indian Lakes Resort style

The other technical feature of note is the many sand pits in use throughout the course. None are UCI legal length, but none are like riding sand either. The rain and elements and dormancy of the course have left them firm and rideable, but the lips riding out of them are similar if not greater than the lip to the right side of the long pit used at Kings CX a couple weeks ago. All of this is rideable, but those grunts up and out with the sand at the end of the lip getting churned up will definitely create some issues and opportunities during the weekend.

That is a wrap of the Chicago Cross Cup New Years Resolution course preview - I have to go get those jeans out of the hotel washer - there wasn't a "heavy soil" setting, so I have my fingers crossed. Stay tuned for more reports from the upper midwest.

P.S. - Here is Mackenzie's reaction to the course preview:

If you've ever ridden at Kingswood, you would recognize it here in Chicago. This course is a golf course, with a hill right smack in the middle. Just like Kingswood, except the hill is made up of random debris they don't want on the course and is smaller and only one hump...but that doesn't matter right now! Soo the course was really familiar feeling, fairly flat and straight. A few s-turns and u-turns thrown in, for variety. The start will be iffy for sure, long relatively thin pavement that's curvy with a strange turn onto the grass with off camber right after it. The hill that's pretty much literally made up of mud, goose poop, and unwanted dirt (lovely combination, right?) is slippery and has bumps, reminds me of the big hill at nationals the past few years, except not nearly as steep. After you go across the first time you go back later and go up and down the side a little around a tree, similar to what we've done at Kings before. Plopped at the end of the course are 6 sand pits - a lot of sand pits.

Holy Water Bottles

I could be going to hell.  If so, my wife and a bunch of racer type cyclists from Milwaukee are coming with me.  Woo hell!  The most extreme epic ride ever!  I’ll wear my helmet with the horns.  We’ll have a Papal Peloton!  I grew up Catholic, went to Sunday school, received a coupla sacraments, know the Lords Prayer and Hail Mary by heart and in all my worldly Theological studies I’m certain that drinking Holy Water at least gets you a few whacks from a Nun’s yardstick.  I’m almost positive that somewhere in the bible it says “Drinketh the wine and thou be seateth at the right hand of the Lord.  Guzzleth the Holy Water, and thou gets few jabiths in the keester with a hot rusty pitchith fork.”

If you’ve been angry because there hasn’t been a new blog post in weeks, I’ve been on vacation.  Rule #1 with this blog is that riding comes before writing.  So while on vacation in Wisconsin we tagged on to the Holy Hill Ride, Milwaukee’s regular Sunday morning pilgrimage to a spectacular spired church perched on a scenic hill 35 miles or so out in the sticks from downtown.  Superweek, aka The International Cycling Classic, also features a stage through Holy Hill country.  This is the second time I’ve done the ride.  I grew up in Milwaukee, but my passion for road cycling didn’t arise till I moved to Cincinnati.  Therefore the only times I visited Holy Hill were on Christmas and at 1am with a six pack of Mickey’s big mouth beers during prom.  The Holy Hill ride ranks right up with Cincinnati’s covered bridge ride, skinny farm roads leading to a place that’s always better reached by bicycle.  Like most cities and their Sunday ride traditions, this ride has been going on for a long time.  From what the peloton of 30 or so said, the Holy Hill ride has been going on probably before the Green Bay Packers won their first Superbowl, but after Harley met Davidson.

Milwaukeeans will try to fool you to thinking that the topography is hilly, mainly by calling people from Illinois “flatlanders.”  Since I’ve moved away to a place that actually is quite hilly, Milwaukee for all practical purposes is as flat as a pancake with a few thick ripples of syrup on top and running down the side into Lake Michigan.  But.  But.  But, for some reason that only a geological genius can explain, there are a few areas that were not smooshed by glaciers.  Holy Hill sits on top of one of them.  The wooded hill probably rises 300ish feet above the farmland below.  Not quite Cincinnati high, but definitely tall enough for a 3-4 minute climb with a couple of soft switchbacks capped off by two steep stabs to the cornerstone of the church.  Of course, King of the Mountain points are in full effect every Sunday.  While, I did not win the surge to the top, I think I certainly made a few locals fear that the out of town guy may spank them on their own hill.

At the top, we stopped for a natural and to fill up the bottles.  The temp was tickling its way toward 85 degrees.  The group split up.  Some stopped at a small out-building with a restroom and bubbler (Wisconsin speak for “drinking fountain”).  The rest of us, stopped in front of this little grotto with what appeared to be a natural spring watched over by a statue of the Virgin Mary.  In plain English, the sign next to the spigot said, “Holy Water.”  Now, I’m no Theological expert, but I’m pretty sure this would lead most god fearing people to believe that this water was meant for blessing and quenching the thirst unfortunate souls and not for guzzling in 28 ounce quantities.  Despite Mary’s furrowed brow of disapproval, everyone filled their bottles from the tap and made holy water jokes in the shadow of the colossal cathedral.  H.  E.  Double toothpicks.

Regardless of our apparent sin, none of us were struck by a bolt of lightning from the cloudless sky.  However, someone did get a flat tire right there at the grotto.  Coincidence?  I dunno.  Regardless, no one wrecked on the way home.  Maybe it was blessed.  We went on to have a wonderful vacation in Wisconsin.  Who knows?  They say the body is 70% water.  For a few days, maybe ours was Holy Water.  Is that doping?

What Is This Cincinnati Bike Rider Doing?

A)  Testing The Latest Big Screen GPS Unit from Garmin?

B)  Watching The Tour of Flanders?    

C)  Watching And Starring In A Dave Chappelle Show Skit?

D)  Rocking The New "Trucker" Helmet From Bell Sports?

E)  Heading Home After Getting His Ride Pimped?

F)  Starting The Craze For The Latest "Utility" Bike?

G)  Demonstating The New Ultra-light Pannier Bag From Hefty?

H)  Proving That He Can Out Climb Most Pro's?

I)  Enjoying His Last Hour Of Freedom On Price Hill's Cobbles?

click here for answer

The Joker & Cycling Heaven: A Milwaukee Area Group Ride With Team Extreme

There’s a joker on every group ride.  I love him, in a bromance kind of way.  With impeccable timing, the joker’s the one who “accidently” drops a 4 letter bomb at the top of the climb to Holy Hill.  He’s the guy who wonders out loud why a road would be named Amy Belle and how promiscuous she might have been in a rural Wisconsin tool shed.  He’s the one who stands on the pedals before a ripping downhill, bursts into an Irish accent and liltingly shouts “time to bomb down frickin’ Donegal.”  Inappropriate but innocent, the joker keeps the ride alive.  The joker makes late winter’s cropless windswept farm roads and the first four hour ride of the season bearable.  It is just one of the reasons I try to hook up with a local ride when I travel.

When you travel with your bike, there’s no need to pour over maps, ride by yourself, and stop every few miles to make sure you’re on track.  Next time you travel, email a few local clubs or teams wherever you’re going and inquire about riding with them.  Cycling is a social beast.  Name a cyclist who doesn’t enjoy riding with new people.  Just be honest about your ability and remember that you’re a guest on someone elses ride.  This past weekend I hooked up with Team Extreme Cycling in Thiensville, WI for their regular Saturday ride from Extreme Bike & Ski to Holy Hill and back.  It all started with a simple email from one cyclist to another.

To: patrick@teamextremecycling

Got your email from the wicycling.org website.  I’m a cat 3 rider in Cincinnati.  I race for BioWheels bike shop here.  My family’s in Mequon and I’ll be in the Milwaukee area Saturday for a reunion.  Was wondering, since you look like you’re located in Thiensville, if there’s a group ride on Saturday that I could latch onto.  

From: teamextrememtnbike

Hi Joe - Thanks for the email. (Here’s the info on our group ride Saturday.)  Hope you can make it.

Saturday March 14 Afternoon Edition Group/Team Ride

Departure Time: 1:30pm

Departure Location: Extreme Ski & Bike (the Shop)

Route: Holy Hill and Back including the Rustic Road Sections (40-45 miles); no drop!

I did make it.  The ride with Patrick & Team Extreme to Holy Hill was the highlight of the weekend, no offense to my family party which was the focal point of my trip. 

The ride met at Extreme Bike & Ski in Thiensville, WI, a great shop, well stocked and for lack of a better term extremely friendly.  I would never have discovered it had I not ventured out of my cycling travel cocoon.  As the riders gathered, chatted, filled bottles and tires, I realized I was a few cents short of enough cash to pay for a CO2 cartridge.  Kindly, the woman behind the counter re-rang it up with one of the team guy’s discounts and all was good.  When’s the last time something like that happened on your road trip?  I was just one of the regular guys on the regular group ride.  Its little things like that that’ll make me pop in there next time I need something or recommend the shop to someone I know in the Milwaukee area.

The bike path behind the shop led to the farm roads just north of Milwaukee’s suburbs of Mequon, Germantown and Richfield.  They were flat by Cincinnati standards, but had enough curves to keep it interesting.  I barely remember seeing any cars till our double paceline crossed over the freeway.  The pace was perfect, just hard enough where the guys at the front were working hard, the guys behind could talk and the joker could poke fun at joggers and innocent landmarks.  The gradual incline of the farm roads gave way to the rolling hills of the lake country surrounding Milwaukee that make up a stage or two of the International Cycling Classic a.k.a. Superweek.  Hogsback was a favorite that bombed, rolled and twisted its way between the farms and Holy Hill.  The highlight was the climb to Holy Hill, 900 vertical feet of switchbacks topped with a cathedral in the boondocks.  Holy Hill is cycling heaven.