Bet On This: The 1st Cat 5 Race

The Cat 5 and 4/5 races are selling out in the Ohio Spring Road Series Races (OSRS).  According to snobish uppity bookmakers at the new Cincinnati casino, here are the odds of seeing the following in upcoming races:

Seat Bag 5/125

Seat Bag That Sounds like It’s Full of Spare Bolts and Broken Glass 2/125

Unshaven Legs that look like the Lower Branches and Peeling Bark on a Pine Tree 10/125

Unshaven Pine Tree Legs with Chain Ring Tattoo 5/125

Threadbare Shorts 4/125

Threadbare Shorts with a Cork-Screw Butt Hair 4/125

Threadbare Shorts with a Cork-Screw Butt Hair and Half Moon of Salty Butt Crust 2/125

Hydration Pack 1/125

150oz Hydration Pack 1/125

Sweet Castelli Bib Shorts 5/125

Sweet Castelli Bib Shorts with Shoulder Straps Worn Over Old T-Shirt 1/125

Tail Light 4/125

Tail Light Blinking in a Seizure Inducing Pattern 1/125

Discovery Team Jersey 1/125

Time Trial Bike 1/125

Discovery Team Jersey on a Time Trial Bike 1/125

I Phone mounted on handlebars 3/125

I Phone mounted on handlebars with riser stem 2/125

I Phone mounted on handlebars with riser stem and 1 inch of spacers 1/125

I Phone mounted on handle bars with riser stem, 1 inch of spacers, on an otherwise rad custom Serotta 1/125