Friday, March 23, 2012

#GU Brew Tongue Test: Science Dammit

It's Like A Giant Smarties Candy...but not really.
Before MythBusters, you used to wonder what would happen if you stuck a Mentos candy into a bottle of Diet Coke.  The myth is true.  It causes you to repeat 7th grade.  Now you’re all growed up, passed Organic Chemistry 202, enjoying a nice career, spending discretionary income on your cycling obsession and while getting ready for a ride, you check the expiration date on your health insurance card and wonder.  What would happen if I stuck a GU Brew tablet on my tongue? 

Leave it to our highly educated readers to find out.  Reader Jeni is a bright young woman.  She’s got a big watermarked fancy degree on her wall, a solid career job and a cute romance going.  She’s healthy, wise and working on the wealthy part.  This week she stuck a GU Brew tablet on her tongue.

GU Brew are electrolyte tablets.  They replace the good stuff you loose through sweat while working out.  Surprisingly to my aversion to puckering, the Tri-Berry and Pink Grapefruit are my favorites.  Not too tart, not too sweet.  You just ker-plunk a tablet into your water bottle and let it fizz.  Make sure to leave the sippy top of your bottle open…or you may have to repeat 7th grade.

Contrary to urban legend you do not start foaming at the mouth, develop a forked tongue, gain the ability to put ornamental wooden discs in your lip, or lisp like a contest on Project Runway if you were to regress to your 7th grade Pop Rock days and lay a GU Brew tab on your tongue.  According to Jeni and some others who have tried it, it’s sort of a little tingly, a little sandy, a bit meh and rather disappointing.   Best to use them as intended, in your water.

Jeni is racing Barry-Roubaix this weekend.  Say hi and wish her the best of luck.  For her bravery and daring we have arranged a GU Energy care package for Jeni...use as directed.

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