#GU Brew Tongue Test: Science Dammit

It's Like A Giant Smarties Candy...but not really.

Before MythBusters, you used to wonder what would happen if you stuck a Mentos candy into a bottle of Diet Coke.  The myth is true.  It causes you to repeat 7^th grade.  Now you’re all growed up, passed Organic Chemistry 202, enjoying a nice career, spending discretionary income on your cycling obsession and while getting ready for a ride, you check the expiration date on your health insurance card and wonder.  What would happen if I stuck a GU Brew tablet on my tongue? 

Leave it to our highly educated readers to find out.  Reader Jeni is a bright young woman.  She’s got a big watermarked fancy degree on her wall, a solid career job and a cute romance going.  She’s healthy, wise and working on the wealthy part.  This week she stuck a GU Brew tablet on her tongue.

GU Brew are electrolyte tablets.  They replace the good stuff you loose through sweat while working out.  Surprisingly to my aversion to puckering, the Tri-Berry and Pink Grapefruit are my favorites.  Not too tart, not too sweet.  You just ker-plunk a tablet into your water bottle and let it fizz.  Make sure to leave the sippy top of your bottle open…or you may have to repeat 7^th grade.

Contrary to urban legend you do not start foaming at the mouth, develop a forked tongue, gain the ability to put ornamental wooden discs in your lip, or lisp like a contest on Project Runway if you were to regress to your 7^th grade Pop Rock days and lay a GU Brew tab on your tongue.  According to Jeni and some others who have tried it, it’s sort of a little tingly, a little sandy, a bit meh and rather disappointing.   Best to use them as intended, in your water.

Jeni is racing Barry-Roubaix this weekend.  Say hi and wish her the best of luck.  For her bravery and daring we have arranged a GU Energy care package for Jeni...use as directed.