Riding Dirty: Morgan Retro Trike For Sale

Riding dirty’s got a new name and it’s the Morgan Retro Tricycle, now available for a cool $50, or 40 packs of Bubblicious gum.  Why should you buy it?  Cuz I told you so!  That’s why.  

They call it the curfew breaker.  Once your kid rolls down the driveway on this, no doubt they’re gonna be late for dinner.  So, give your daughter a jump start on hurting the feelings of every other little girl in the neighborhood and get her the prettiest damn bike on the block.  Why?  Cuz!  Nothing says I’m the pavement princess like this silver-pedaled super-aero powder pink Morgan Retro Tricycle.  All you skinny jean hipsters hang your head in shame, cuz this pink bitch ain’t got no chain.  It's the orginal fixie.  Fenders?  It’s got three!  Brakes?  It’s time she started to learn how to put her foot down!  Rumor has it Kim Kardashian once rode one of these and look how successful she turned out.  Sassy pink Channel sunglasses not included, but there's some kick ass bling on the rear fenders.  If your 2 year old hasn’t quite developed her 17 year old attitude yet, get this and she’ll be dressing like Nicki Minaj and flipping the bird to all your neighbors in no time.  It’s so damn adorable, you’ll never need money for the ice cream man again. 

(Joe Biker Note: Seriously, my buddy is selling this.  Visit the entry for this post on our Facebook page and leave a comment if you’re interested.)

The Best Blog Ever Mentioned on Two John's Podcast

I got dropped wearing Two John's Podcast socks on a group ride, sent a letter to complain (voice my frustration and sentiments) and yada yada yada, click play on audio player button below to hear what happened.  This is the edit version, please visit  The Two John's and download the entire podcast, subscribe on I-Tunes and check out thier cool cycling universe.  To say the least, not much sympathy coming from the Two John's.  That's cycling.

Wezembeek-oppem Belgium Hello!

It’s slightly 12-year-oldish to celebrate a one month anniversary, but after the switch from Joe Biker on AOL on October 8th, this blog has been up and running on blogger for just about a month and I am absolutely blown away over the numbers of new readers and returning readers. Moreover, it's pretty cool to have an insight into who and where you are. From the one person in Wezembeek-oppem Belgium to a handful in Dayton, Ohio USA, thanks for reading and thanks for moving with me. Happy Anniversary, I hope you enjoy your cake! (Video above) Cycling and writing certainly makes me a happy person and I hope reading this blog makes you happy to be a cyclist too. Thank you.

When I first set up this blog, I signed up for a service that tracks readership. It’s that little counter at the bottom. No, I can’t tell your name or if you lube your chamois, but I do know the country/state/city where you have your computer hooked up. I can tell if you came over from the link on Two Johns Podcast, a cycling forum, Google, or in a round about way just have it bookmarked as a favorite. I know what you're wondering. This may seem unbelievable, but no click thrus have come from or went to naked websites. Bike porn on the other hand, well that's what you're all about. Since the internet is usually a very personal thing, I thought you might like to know who else is reading The Best Bike Blog Ever with you. Below are some stats and trends I’ve pulled from the data for roughly the first month of this blog, from October 8th through November 5th, 2008.

The Basics:
Page Views (number of times viewed by anybody or anything): 1481
Unique Views (actual people page views, including returns) 971
First Time Visitors (Real people) 685
Returning Visitors (People that actually came back for more) 286

What's the Big Deal?
Monday’s are the biggest days, followed by the days with new posts. Thanks for subscribing, becoming a “follower,” and making it a favorite in your browser. Like coming back to work from a weekend of “Fight Club,” you obviously have an appetite for race news, stories, pictures and videos the Monday after race weekends. October 13th was the day after the big Cincinnati UCI3 weekend and there were 162 page views and 97 unique views. Pretty cool!

Where Did You Come From?
Big thanks to the websites and blogs who have added a link. The Two Johns Podcast has provided the most click-thrus. I have it on my I-tunes and you should too. Thanks to those involved in the OVCX series. The biggest days have been the two Monday’s after the UCI race weekends where the race reports lived on The Best Bike Blog Ever with a click through from Cycling News, Daily Peloton, Velo News, Cyclocross World, CX Magazine, the OVCX main site and the Cincinnati UCI 3 blog.

Where Did You Go?
Most readers checked out the race photos at Jeff Jakucyk’s site. After that it’s the Two John’s Podcast, CX Magazine, Steve Tilford and Molly Cameron’s Blog, BioWheels website, Belgium Knee Warmers, and of course one of my favorites, Fat Cyclist. Links on the right.

Where Are You?
72% of readers are from Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana, which I reckon, means 28% of readers, roughly 300ish, ain’t from these parts.

From These Parts:
Cincinnati leads the pack, followed by Florence KY, Louisville KY, Newport KY, Mainville OH, Lawrenceburg IN, and Dayton OH

Readers Abroad:
Canada, Spain, Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic, Greece

Larger Cities:
Chicago, Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, Boston, Montreal, Portland, Nashville, Pittsburg, Lexington, Madrid, Indianapolis, San Antonio, Milwaukee, Austin, Kansas City, Athens, Oakland, St. Paul

Places That Sound Like I Should Visit With A Bike:
Mountain Lake MN, Sandy UT, Grand Junction CO, Wezembeek-oppem Belgium

I Know Where Some of You Work:
I can tell if you used your work computer based on the IP address. Don’t sweat it. Your secret’s safe with me. Thanks for taking your coffee break with The Best Bike Blog Ever.

Ghost Dog: a Joe Biker Blog Classic

As we continue to make "Out Of True" The Best Bike Blog Ever, and make the transition from the Joe Biker Blog on AOL which is closing it's Journals, here's an updated version of a classic from the archive dated Thursday, October 10th, 2006.

The Myth: It’s not a ride in Northern Kentucky till a dog chases you

The Truth: It’s not a ride in Northern Kentucky till a dog chases you.

I’m sure no matter where you live you can substitute a different area where you live for Northern Kentucky, even if you live in LA or wherever. In that case, the slogan may go like this: it’s not a ride in Beverly Hills till the paparazzi chase you. Same difference. I’m sure they’re just as vicious.

There’s one dog in Northern Kentucky that is particularly stealthy and wicked fast. We call him Ghost Dog. We know the general area where he lives. The problem is where Ghost Dog lives and what he calls his territory are two entirely different things.

For those of you who live around Cincinnati, Ghost Dog’s territory is along Route 8 (the road that runs along the Ohio River) somewhere between Mentor and Silver Grove, KY. There’s only one dog that chases in that stretch…and that my friend is Ghost Dog.

I have no idea what breed or mix Ghost Dog is. I’m guessing’ he’s a mix of Usain Bolt, the Stealth Bomber and German Sheppard. He’s black with some gray mixed in, has a boxy build, doesn’t show up on radar and I’m sure has a few Olympic Gold medals hanging in his doghouse.

Not only does Ghost Dog have a kick like Lotto’s Robbie McEwen, he also knows how to hide and break out his sprint at just the right moment just like Lotto’s Robbie McEwen.

The stretch of road where Ghost Dog lives is protected by a steep little hill lined with tall scraggly bushes. So, Ghost Dog has the element of surprise on his side. Also, the fact that the other side of the road has no shoulder and a steep deep ditch along the Ohio River leaves the wayward cyclist no escape.

This is how ghost dog appears to a cyclist. You’re tooling along Route 8 at maybe 21mph. The sky is blue. The hills are a lush green. The river is peaceful. You’re likely watching a barge push it’s way up river. (Insert innocent happy whistle here) ALL OF A SUDDEN! There’s a beastly black dog 10 feet from you traveling at 35mph. Within .008 seconds he’s nipping’ at your Sidi’s and putting steak sauce on your sculptured calves. Your heart rates jacks to 102% asyou realize you are now the star of Scary Movie 5. He bounds in front, behind, to the left, to right…now dip baby dip. The hip-hop dance of death. And, you soon find yourself off your bike fending him off by trying to put your bike between your clean shaved legs and his drooling jowls.

Ghost Dog doesn’t want to eat you. He just wants to taste the fear in your sweat.

However, there are positive sides to Ghost Dog.

Number One: you get an accurate reading of your maximum heart rate.

Number Two: if you ever get strong enough to out-sprint Ghost Dog…it’s an automatic upgrade to a Category 2 USCF road-racing license.