Riding Dirty: Morgan Retro Trike For Sale

Riding dirty’s got a new name and it’s the Morgan Retro Tricycle, now available for a cool $50, or 40 packs of Bubblicious gum.  Why should you buy it?  Cuz I told you so!  That’s why.  

They call it the curfew breaker.  Once your kid rolls down the driveway on this, no doubt they’re gonna be late for dinner.  So, give your daughter a jump start on hurting the feelings of every other little girl in the neighborhood and get her the prettiest damn bike on the block.  Why?  Cuz!  Nothing says I’m the pavement princess like this silver-pedaled super-aero powder pink Morgan Retro Tricycle.  All you skinny jean hipsters hang your head in shame, cuz this pink bitch ain’t got no chain.  It's the orginal fixie.  Fenders?  It’s got three!  Brakes?  It’s time she started to learn how to put her foot down!  Rumor has it Kim Kardashian once rode one of these and look how successful she turned out.  Sassy pink Channel sunglasses not included, but there's some kick ass bling on the rear fenders.  If your 2 year old hasn’t quite developed her 17 year old attitude yet, get this and she’ll be dressing like Nicki Minaj and flipping the bird to all your neighbors in no time.  It’s so damn adorable, you’ll never need money for the ice cream man again. 

(Joe Biker Note: Seriously, my buddy is selling this.  Visit the entry for this post on our Facebook page and leave a comment if you’re interested.)

Fisher Price Bike Recall Causes Total Tizzy at Aussie Jr. Trike World Championships

(Nose Hit News Service-Melboune Austrailia)  Five year old female Junior Recumbent Trike World Champion hopeful, Joelle Bikerski is pissed.  She crossed her arms, furrowed her brow and insisted she’s actually five and a half.  This week Fisher Price, her lightweight high end bike sponsor, recalled the exact bike she planned to ride at this weekend’s World Championships in Australia.  Just days before the big race, she and the other superstars of aerospace thermoplastic tricycle racing in the 4-6 year old category, such as Fabiene Cancellero and Georgette Hincappy, are left scrambling to find another bike their parents will let them ride. 

“I don’t want to bust a nut on that piece of crap,” exclaimed another 5 year old sponsored athlete who stuck his thumb in his mouth and violently shook his head from side to side refusing to be identified.  Australian Police put up barricades and traffic control devices around the local Toys-R-Aussie to keep parents from throwing a complete hissy fit over the recall.  “She’s five years old and at the prime of her career,” exclaimed one outraged parent slash coach slash diaper changer.  “Next year she’ll be over the hill like Brett Favre and Lance Armstrong.”

The sound of pouting, kicking and screaming could be heard all around the athlete’s village.  At press time World Championship organizers were busy trying to make nice-nice with free ice cream and book an emergency concert by rock band The Wiggles.

For more on the recall, click here for CNN article.