Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Carbon Fiber Chopsticks

The weathered looking woman next to me worried about the incoming snow storm.  As I sat waiting for my tires to be rotated and oil changed at Tire Discounters, a conversation struck among strangers.  Her husband is a school teacher.  If school was delayed, he’d have to be in early.  Consequently, with one car in the shop, she’d have to drive him in.  The man to my right, I’m guessing was a bus driver.  He offered up a bit of knowledge that the woman-next-to-me’s husband could get a discount bus pass since he was involved with the school system.  As any Wisconsin native would do, I kept my trap mostly shut and offered few personal details.  Since only bike shops offer bike magazines in the waiting room, I picked up a glossy car magazine with a photo of a racy BMW M1 prototype on the cover.

As they gabbed and fretted about the storm while my four wheel drive Toyota 4 Runner was up on the stand, I relaxed, nodded now and then and flipped through the pages.  Then I saw this:  

A carbon fiber suitcase?  What the?!  The woman next to me glanced over my shoulder to see what brought the slight gasp out of my mouth.  Why would anyone need a carbon suitcase?  I thought.  I texted myself a blog reminder and read on.  As it turns out, you need a carbon fiber suitcase for all the same reasons you need a carbon bicycle frame: it’s light, durable, it looks better than the other suitcases at the airport and you’ll be faster in the race from the gate to the car.  While I haven’t checked, I bet 

you can get ceramic bearings for those wheels and have the “pro” version of the suitcase.  What’s it cost?  What do ya think?  This little gem from Zero Halliburton is about the same price as a carbon fiber bike frame, $2250.  Probably the same amount of cash you have in your carbon fiber money clip.  Which begs the question, what else might make sense to make out of carbon fiber?

A letter opener perhaps?  Why not?  Like all things carbon, it’s light, so you can open up letters for hours and win the letter opening Olympics without getting a bunion on your palm.  Plus, it matches the carbon fiber briefcase in your office and looks sharp with your letter opening team kit. 

 Wonder what else can be made out of carbon fiber?  I thought to myself.  Chopsticks?  I googled but no dice.  So, I searched the phrase “ridiculous carbon fiber.”  The following two items were returned in the search results.

The Carbon Fiber X-Box Controller

While just a pet project of a die-hard gamer.  I have to admit, it would be sweet to play a little Tokyo drift with a controller like this. 

Lastly, this Carbon Fiber Snare Drum turned up.  While it puzzled me at first, it did start to make sense.  It’s lightweight for traveling or musicians that perform while moving.  It’s durable, so I’m sure it 

can be tuned to be able to bang out anything from a death metal beat to something tight and funky.  No doubt it’ll probably stay in tune longer than materials that might flex with temperature and humidity.  And, like all things carbon, it would match any University of Whatever marching band team kit.


Duane said...

Prepare to be amazed.


Joe Biker said...

Dear little baby jesus I had no idea it had gone that far. A child car seat? Really? Really??

Duane said...

These bad boys make your Zipps look affordable. Which for you they were, since they only cost you $250 or so.....


Joe Biker said...

Just imagine how fast I could get to the races with those on my truck, not to mention the fuel savings! The more I think about all these carbon thingies, there always seems to be a legitimate reason to want them. Take the kids car seat. If you're driving something with carbon fiber wheels, those heavy plastic Walmart brand kid's car seats would totally mess up the balance of the sports car you're driving, not to mention add curb weight. I hope somebody's working on a carbon fiber baby to sit in it.

Joe Biker said...

A little off topic, just noticed that Duane and Adam are now in the paceline. Click their little photos on the "followers" section on the right of the main page and see what they've been writing about.

Chris Norris said...

My personal favorite...the Carbon Fiber Throne!



Anonymous said...

Looks like the chopsticks are covered now too...