Stop Animation Video Wins Road ID Flat Joe Biker Contest

Ring the Cowbell for Reader Mike F.

He obviously has the world’s smallest cyclocross race course in the world in his front yard!  He’s reader Mike F. and the winner/creative genius of The Best Bike Blog EVER! Flat Joe Biker photo contest presented by Road ID.  Congratulations and thank you Mike.  Enjoy your Road ID e-gift card.  The amount of work that went into this is very humbling. 

Not only does the entry combine a still photo of cycling with Flat Joe Biker and Road ID, it had to take a couple dozen photos, carefully and precisely crafted together to make this stop animation video of a cyclocross tragedy.   

We’d also like to thank all who entered including: Dave R. of Big Dave Sports who put Flat Joe Biker literally on the podium of the Ohio State Masters and Juniors Championships

April and Mitch B. who took Flat Joe to New Orleans for a lovely time at Cafe du Monde.

Jeni R. who toasted the Lumberjack 100 with Flat Joe.  Cheers!

Rod who found a riding partner in Flat Joe while in Tsali.  "We should go that way!"

And, yeah, what the hell, thanks to Adam N.  Even though he showed up late for the ride by sending in a photo this morning after the deadline, he also gets an honorable mention by kitting up to ride the Mid Mountain Trail in Park City with Flat Joe Biker and Road ID.

To learn more about how Road ID can save your ride or pick up your own e-gift card visit Road ID online and/or like the Road ID Facebook page.

What’s next?  The Tour De Rants of course!  More details coming on Tuesday, but you can enter now by leaving a comment (a rant) on this blog post and joining The Best Bike Blog EVER! Tour De Rants peloton p/b Ryders Eyewear.   (Yes, you’ll have to log in with one of the options presented…anonymous comments will not be considered...duh)  The prize: the Ryders Eyewear of your choice.  Ba bam!  Like Ryders on Facebook here.  While I’m diggin’ on the Seeker, find out which style and lens options match your riding and noggin’ at RydersEyewear.com today.

Video: Phil Keoghan - The Movie "The Ride" The Interview

Phil laughed.  "You believe it was two years ago?"  I shook my head.  "Feels like it was yesterday," I replied with a smile.  I rode with Phil two years ago on the Columbus Ohio leg of his Ride Across America to benefit the MS Society.  It was tough.  He nearly dropped me...a few times.  Today he returned to Cincinnati for the local premiere of the movie based on that experience called "The Ride."  I'm lucky to have ridden with Phil.  I'm also lucky to work at Q102 Radio in Cincinnati where afternoon host Brian Douglas sat down and interviewed Phil in my production studio.  

Click Here for the story of my ride with Phil.

Click Here for Tickets, The Trailer and/or To Download Movie on I-Tunes.

WIKI LEEKI: 2011 Tour De France Route Map Leaked

(Nose Hit News Service/Paris, France)  Just hours before Tour De France organizers planned release of de 2011 race route, Le Wiki Leeki (a French organization that is not on strike) allegedly unveiled portions of the route and uncorked the champagne themselves.  French authorities are redundantly calling it a faux hoax.  Included in the leak were details of new starting cities, a time trial in the Basque town of Testostero'ne, and a full map pictured below.

Stages 1 & 2

Stage 1, according to Le Wiki Leeki, takes place after the traditional prologue in Paris and follows the traditional flat start to the tour taking riders 135 miles from Clenbuterol, originally settled by Russian immigrants and finishes in Cera, known for its potent blood red wine.  Stage 2, the group contends, continues through the northern part of the country with an undulating 120 mile circumnavigation of the wine producing country between Vino and Landis'eille. 

Stages 6 & 7 

The first week of the tour ends with a bumpy ride, according to the Leeki, as the road tilts up for the first time.  Of particular interest is stage 7, which Wiki says will depart in Aach-Gee-Aach and finish 145 miles and three Category 2 climbs later in the Belgian town of Balco.

Stages 9-11 

These three stages take riders from through the heart of the Pyrenees Mountains in the middle of the 2^nd week says Leeki.  While stage 9 from E'peeo to Cortisone features 3 HORS rated climbs, stage 10 ending in the ski resort town of Puerto is certain to be a pivotal stage Le Wiki reports,  since it will be followed by a stage 11 time trial from Homologous to Mayo, where mayonnaise was invented.

Full 2011 Tour Route Map

Finally Something Dorkier Than Cycling: Riding a Segway

Do they make you wear a helmet to protect yourself from people throwing things at your head?  EK posted.  If you were any more of a dork, you’d be a Dorkasaurus Rex.  Thanks Mom.  According to my so-called Facebook “friends,” many of which wear spandex and use the words 700c and Dugast in everyday conversation, “I” am the mayor of Dorkopolis because I rode a Segway.  Well, thank you.  I will take the key to this geeked out city with pride for I, Joe Biker, finally found something dorkier than cycling.  It’s riding a Segway…and it kicks more geeky ass than a Garmin GPS with a wattmeter.  (I'm the guy with the orange sleeves and jeans in the video)  

Like Bill Gates gushing over the latest unscratchable glass for iPhone screens, riding a Segway brings out our inner dork.  Yes, you are a dork.  Look at the blog you are reading.  Not so fast mountain biker with the suspension lockout button next to your Ergon grip.  Skinsuited cyclocrossers, don’t even get me started.  Segways have gyros (not the sandwich) that adjust to your input.  Yeah, you wish you had that on your bike, if there were only room between the Garmin and your 900 Lumen LED light.  So face it, we are the not cool people.  Cool people watch Jersey Shore and wear t-shirts designed by famous tattoo artists.  The rest of us wear a chamois pad between our legs and know how to use hand signals. 

But, that’s totally cool.  Us uncool cycling people are fit.  We can wear size 31 jeans.  We have core strength from working out while Biggest Loser is on TV.  Even though The Situation could drink us under the table, we have balance and focus, thanks to that Yoga mat.  While the word Namaste rhymes very well with totally gay, we are way more prepared to survive a Zombie attack than Snookie.  As a result, we are also prepared for other diabolical catastrophes like going on a Segway tour of Cincinnati’s Eden Park with our co-workers under the guise of team building.  Oh the horror.

I did it and I survived.  It was incredibly fun.  I resisted the urge to bring my own helmet.  They go 12mph.  Before you say that's too slow, keep in mind if the people mover at the airport moved at 12mph, the airport's biggest scare wouldn't be terrorism.  This may also be as blindsided as the Nationwide spokesperson’s latest deductible revelation; it was a bit of a workout.  I felt it a bit afterward.  Yeah, it took some fitness to ride that thing.  Core strength is key.  Move your core forward on your toes and it goes forward.  Move your weight on your heels and it goes backward.  Balance on your two feet on a platform over the wheels axel and you stand still.  See…not so easy.  Steering is much like skiing.  Move the handle left to go left, right to go right.  By shifting your weight left or right or in combination with your heel-toe technique and you can do some fun stuff.  When you get the hang of it, you can ride no handed.  Much like cycling, being skinnier makes you faster.  See, got your attention you dork.

To learn more about Segue of Ohio click here.

Alberto Contador May Sign With Team Alberto Contador p/b Alberto

(Nose Hit News Service: Spain) In a move we all saw coming, amidst the swirling rumors of stalled contract talks with Astana, Alberto Contador will reportedly sign with a new team for the 2011 cycling season; Team Alberto Contador presented by Alberto.  This new UCI Pro tour team managed by Alberto Contador, is slated to sign other top named riders, namely Alberto Contador, Alberto Contador, Alberto Contador and of course Alberto Contador.  “I just got fed up with all the controversy over people saying I’m not a team player.  So, I go on my own.  Who needs teammates when you end up attacking them anyway,” questioned the team owner.  “It’s a win-win!,” the team manager exclaimed in broken English, “we only need two maybe four bicycle, someone to hand Alberto musette bag at feed zone and that’s uh about it.  Alberto’s brother will book the hotels, give massage and drive team car.  All Alberto left to do is fire the pistol and slip on the yellow jersey.”  He has a point.

Although details remain sketchy, rumored sponsors are Alberto VO5 as primary sponsor and Alberto’s Cookies, fancy schmancy Alberto Guardiani designer shoes and famed Salsa musician Jose Alberto.  “It’s all about Alberto,” Alberto raved, “and I enjoy good shoes, good cookies, good music and my fantastic looking jet black Spanish hair.”  Asked if Astana decided to drop him because of his brown tooth that he has yet to get whitened or capped despite earning over two million Euros with his previous Tour De France wins, Contador denied comment.  

The TDF Leather Jersey Proposal

Obviously there’s some disagreement as to if Contador should not have attacked and/or waited after Schleck dropped his chain.  Some cried foul.  Others insist there are no gifts in the Tour De France.  There will never be any cut and dry rule.  We could spend the rest of our years debating the thin line between winning and sportsmanship, or we could award acts of heroism, respect and coolness in the Tour De France.  That’s why I propose a new jersey competition to stand atop the podium along with the yellow, green and polka dot.  Introducing: The Leather Jersey, Le Maillot Cuir.

There’s no argument that the world’s coolest person ever in the world is Arthur Henry Fonzarelli, aka The Fonz.  Modeled after Fonzie’s leather jacket from the hit TV show Happy Days, the Leather Jersey would be awarded each day to the points leader in the coolness competition.  Of course it’d be a faux black leather jersey, pleather if you will.  It’d have an authentic “thumbs up” silk screened on the back and topped up with an extra tall popped up collar.  The Leather Jersey would be sponsored by Ray Ban and come with a pair of cool guy Wayfarer sunglasses.  Fabian Cancellara, the coolest racer who resembles the Fonz the most, would award the jersey each day.  Instead of kissing, the podium girls would stand back, give a double thumbs up and say, "AAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

Points would be awarded to riders demonstrating acts of sportsmanship, heroism, respect, kindness and general coolness.  Double points would apply on extreme stages, such as those with Hors category climbs or on days when the weather is bad.

 

The Cool Points scale could look something like this:

2              Heroically making the time cut but coming in DFL

5              Offering water  food to a racer on another team

7              Helping unpile the bikes after a mass wreck

10           Checking to see if that dude that just rode off the cliff is moving down there

15           Waiting for or not attacking a rival who just suffered a mechanical or a crash

In a multiple jersey winning situation, instead of giving the lesser jersey to the runner up, the Leather Jersey would be worn layered in conjunction with the green, polka dot or yellow jersey.  This would be accomplished by awarding, for example a yellow jersey with an extra tall upturned black collar.  In Paris it would be an extra honor, showing the world that it is indeed possible to win with respect, integrity, sportsmanship, heroism, kindness and just being cool.

Facebook Friday: Garministan Invasion

I got rear ended at a toll both outside of Chicago on the Eisenhower expressway more than ten years ago.  In slow motion, as I sat stopped waiting to pay, I heard the skidding.  Then from my rear view mirror I could see her coming in way to fast.  A white sedan skidding, looking for the lane with more room to stop.  Bam.  Crash.  Smash.  Bang.  Dominoes.  One car plowed into another, till the rear window of my 1991 Honda Civic hatchback caved in and the Proflex bike on my roof rack flipped onto my hood.  I was okay.  Glass was everywhere.  My frame got cracked.  In a shaky trembly half-scared half-adrenaline spiked voice, much like the one Tyler Farrar used in post race interviews to describe yesterday's sprint at the 2010 Tour De France, I narrated to the officer what happened.  Farrar was freaked out and for good reason.  Crazy things were unfolding in slo-mo in front of his eyes.

After watching the tour coverage of Thursday's sprint over and over, in slo-mo, upside down from the trapeze bar in my living room with binoculars, and by cocking my head side to side like a dog trying to figure out what it's owner is saying, it's pretty clear that nobody in the sprint was riding a line straight enough to pass a breathalizer test.  Check out the video link of "How The Race Was Won" here.


In post race interviews, both Julian Dean and Mark Renshaw, veteran lead out guys, prided themselves on clean sprinting, holding their line.  What I found fascinating, is that neither Dean nor Renshaw mentioned the headbutts.  Headbutting is not against the rules, deviating from your line is.  If you're getting crowded off your line, better defend it with your head than to use your hands at 40mph.  Problem is, Renshaw did more than defend his real estate.  That's what the race jury saw.


Like a game of Risk, Renshaw pounded his way to gain more acreage.  These are big boys.  They know what's going on.  Pro sprinters can thread a needle an inch wider than their handlebars.  There was 3-4 feet to the left of Renshaw, plenty of room to throw a sprinters disco party let alone for Renshaw to pull off and let Cav go straight.  Problem was Renshaw was getting beat by Dean, consequently Farrar was getting the upper hand on Cav.  

Renshaw saw that the only way to regain dominance at the line for both Cav and himself was for him to cross the border on his right.  Sorry, but that was the land of Garministan.  Look at it like a double paceline.  Guy on the left (Renshaw) goes left, guy on the right (Dean) goes right.  While exciting for TV, I think we got robbed of a drag race between Farrar and Cav and for that matter a three up race with Petacchi.  Too bad.  Maybe that's what the jury saw.  This is the Tour De France and we want to see the best go head to head.


Still, the general consensus among FB friends and fans is that the punishment didn't fit the crime.  Getting ejected was a bit harsh.  So, what should've been the punishment?  It's Facebook Friday.  Every week we ask our Facebook fans a burning question and post the comments here.  To be a part of fit, fan us here on FB.  


This weeks question was: "Instead of being kicked out of the Le Tour for Le Head-butting Julian Dean, how should've Mark Renshaw been punished?" 

You Got Schlecked! The Movie

For more silly stuff about getting "Shlecked" check out this previous post here.
And, for the totally "Shlecked" experience: http://andyschleckbestbikeraceroftheuniverse.blogspot.com/

Home Movie: 2010 Tour of California EPIC Big Bear Stage

Finally our film is back from the developer and now The Blest Blike Blog Bleva presents an exclusive real life color moving picture of the 2010 Tour of California EPIC Big Bear Mountain Stage, starring: Quick Step's Tom Boonen, Saxo Bank's Fabian Cancellara, BMC's George Hincapie, the HTC-Columbia Manx Missle played by Mark Cavendish and two dudes dressed up like astronauts on bikes.  Order some popcorn, enjoy then fan us on Facebook at right!