Voeckler Positive for Snatching Contador’s Body…and Other TDF Thoughts

Thor-too

Power, perseverance…pecs, Thor’s finish line salute would make a great tattoo.  Who couldn’t benefit from the power of a mini-thor on the upper arm?  What Would Thor Do?  Take it one step further.  It’d make a ridiculous chest tattoo.  Unzip your jersey and, ba-bam, say hello to the god of thunder ladies!

Klo-no!

Or, maybe, “Oh No-den!”  Kloden clipped out in the first hour of Friday’s stage.  While a bummer, at least I’m finally convinced that no one on Team Radio Shack is doping.  Apparently Horner, Popo and Bracko were one guy short of fielding a team the Grand Theft Auto X-box tournament in the back of the Radio Shack team bus.  No matter how hard I stomped on the couch cushions and scared my cats by shouting “Klooo-den” with a deep haunting German accent, he could not over come his injuries.  Levi was last seen loading up on mojos, rabbits feet, Italian horns, good luck charms and numerous translation guides to be able to talk with his remaining teammates at a Pyrenean gypsy kiosk.

Voecklador

Saturday’s stage with, exactly 43 HORS category climbs, the equivalent of doing 20 lactate threshold hill repeats on K2, looks so diabolical there may be more guys that miss the time cut than finish the stage.  HTC might have to give Cavendish a rescue beacon, a satellite phone and a pannier full of hoagie sandwiches to survive the stage.  If Voeckler is still in yellow after Saturday he should be tested for surgically removing his head and placing it on Contador’s body. 

Hooger TFU Award

Shouldn’t there be a Hooger-TFU Award in the tour for guys like Flecha and Hoogerland?  Something like a Free Pass, at least an equivalent to surviving getting hit by a speeding car, rag-dolled into barbed wire and finishing before the time cut.  They should be able to skip 3 stages, be booked in a 5-Star resort, retain their position on GC before the wreck, and be dropped off with a 5 minute lead in a town just outside of the Pyrenees.  Shit…they should each get a car like the one that hit them.  After the lawyers have a chat, they probably will…polka dot Audi’s with shiny 24-inch spinner rims.

Home Movie: 2010 Tour of California EPIC Big Bear Stage

Finally our film is back from the developer and now The Blest Blike Blog Bleva presents an exclusive real life color moving picture of the 2010 Tour of California EPIC Big Bear Mountain Stage, starring: Quick Step's Tom Boonen, Saxo Bank's Fabian Cancellara, BMC's George Hincapie, the HTC-Columbia Manx Missle played by Mark Cavendish and two dudes dressed up like astronauts on bikes.  Order some popcorn, enjoy then fan us on Facebook at right!

The Pro Cycling Autograph Match Game

More giddy than a 12 year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert, my eyes ping-ponged from the tour buses to the sign-in chart at the start of the Big Bear Climb stage of the Tour of California in Palmdale.  Catching swag in front of the Radio Shack bus, I caught a glimpse of the Belgian champs jersey rolling by.  Tomeke!  He stopped to talk to a friend and, nearly peeing my pants, I ran up and nervously asked for an autograph.  I could never be a cycling reporter.  I'm too starstruck.  Hincapie, Cavendish, Spartacus...my heros of Flanders and Paris Roubaix were all about me.  I tapped Cav on the shoulder and asked him to sign and then passed the pen to Hincapie.  On a tip, a friend told me not to miss the start of a race.  He couldn't have been more right.  At the finish the racers spent carcasses disappear into the trailers, buses and team cars.  At the start, they're fresh, casual and all about the fans.  One disappointment though, pro cyclists sign autographs like doctors write prescriptions.  

Can you match the pictures of my autographed cycling items on this page to the cycling stars pictured (hint, there are four autograph's and 5 superstars pictured?

(answer key: #1 Cav, #2 Boonen, #3 Hincapie, #4 Bruyneel...I think)