Obviously there’s some disagreement as to if Contador should not have attacked and/or waited after Schleck dropped his chain. Some cried foul. Others insist there are no gifts in the Tour De France. There will never be any cut and dry rule. We could spend the rest of our years debating the thin line between winning and sportsmanship, or we could award acts of heroism, respect and coolness in the Tour De France. That’s why I propose a new jersey competition to stand atop the podium along with the yellow, green and polka dot. Introducing: The Leather Jersey, Le Maillot Cuir.
There’s no argument that the world’s coolest person ever in the world is Arthur Henry Fonzarelli, aka The Fonz. Modeled after Fonzie’s leather jacket from the hit TV show Happy Days, the Leather Jersey would be awarded each day to the points leader in the coolness competition. Of course it’d be a faux black leather jersey, pleather if you will. It’d have an authentic “thumbs up” silk screened on the back and topped up with an extra tall popped up collar. The Leather Jersey would be sponsored by Ray Ban and come with a pair of cool guy Wayfarer sunglasses. Fabian Cancellara, the coolest racer who resembles the Fonz the most, would award the jersey each day. Instead of kissing, the podium girls would stand back, give a double thumbs up and say, "AAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!"
Points would be awarded to riders demonstrating acts of sportsmanship, heroism, respect, kindness and general coolness. Double points would apply on extreme stages, such as those with Hors category climbs or on days when the weather is bad.
The Cool Points scale could look something like this:
2 Heroically making the time cut but coming in DFL
5 Offering water food to a racer on another team
7 Helping unpile the bikes after a mass wreck
10 Checking to see if that dude that just rode off the cliff is moving down there
15 Waiting for or not attacking a rival who just suffered a mechanical or a crash
In a multiple jersey winning situation, instead of giving the lesser jersey to the runner up, the Leather Jersey would be worn layered in conjunction with the green, polka dot or yellow jersey. This would be accomplished by awarding, for example a yellow jersey with an extra tall upturned black collar. In Paris it would be an extra honor, showing the world that it is indeed possible to win with respect, integrity, sportsmanship, heroism, kindness and just being cool.