Hurricane Irene Upgraded to Cat 3

Despite not holding her line and forcing hundreds off the road and into the gutter throughout Puerto Rico, Hurricane Irene received a sticker in the mail, officially marking the upgrade to Cat 3.  After racing throughout St. John, the Dominican Republic and other Caribbean countries, Irene has apparently accumulated enough points to upgrade before she makes a splash on the US cycling scene in the southeastern states. 

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Like a typical Cat 3, Irene will now demand her 25% shop discount be increased, shout unsolicited condescending “advice” to unsuspecting club riders, and in a continuous case of one-upmanship, ask other hurricanes what Cat they are.  Now self-considered Elite and sporting a power meter and handlebar mounted Garmin 800, according to Cycling Coach Chris Mayhew, "Irene was last seen this morning chasing down her own teammates and getting dropped in a 1/2/3 event near the Outer Banks."  Former Cat 3 Katrina said, ”Irene blows and should be downgraded before she hurts somebody.”