Mike Hanley from Team 7-Eleven to Now: The Official's View on Doping

Mike Holds up Scott McKinley in 1988 Tour of Texas Pit

Most of you know Mike Hanley as the chief referee at Ohio Valley cycling events.  In the 80's he worked with Andy Hampsten and the 7-Eleven Cycling team, the team that led the American charge on the then European dominated peloton.  Mike offers a professional, historic, and an official's perspective on doping that only a select few in the sport can deliver.  He answers the question of what it means to us, the amateur/local racers and riders, and what we can do to preserve and grow the sport.  I am both humbled and honored he gave his permission to share his opinion.  Thank you Mike. 

by Mike Hanley
Executive Director
Indiana-Kentucky Cycling Association

(Indianapolis, IN) After the first Oprah/Lance interview I sit here wondering what my friends in cycling think about the recent developments in the Lance Armstrong saga. 

Most of you know me as the chief referee that runs the majority of the races around these parts. And a few of you know that I work behind the scenes with race organizers to develop the annual schedule of events. After watching the first Lance/Oprah interview I feel the need to share my thoughts about Lance Armstrong and how recent revelations/admissions may impact what you and I do as amateur bike racers.

Professional cycling, like most endurance sports, has a long history of performance enhancing (PED) drug use. In the early days, there was a distinct advantage over the competition when athletes at the top of a sport were experimenting with PED's. Over the past 30 years, coaches, team doctors and sports scientists, have developed a sophisticated system of doping with the goal of circumventing current testing methods. That has been the game behind the scenes and that's why Lance has been able to claim he's never tested positive.

The one thing that Lance said during the Oprah interviews that I thought was truly relevant was that he didn't feel he was cheating, just ensuring a level playing field. I get that. During the 1980’s I worked for the 7-Eleven Cycling Team which was the first organized American foray into European cycling. I didn't know it at the time but we learned a lot about racing in Europe, and the most obvious lesson was that we needed to get on the program. A program that was firmly entrenched in a culture of doping that included all the champions in recent memory and a majority of the riders in the peloton during the most formative years of the sport. How can we expect Americans to be successful at a European game if we aren't entitled to a level playing field? What I'm saying here is not justification for Lance’s behavior or an endorsement of PED's, its a question of 'how is one to be competitive when facing a stacked deck?'

I'm proud to say that 7-Eleven, for the most part, and specifically Andy Hampsten, raced clean. There were times when we pushed the envelope (or, more accurately, certain riders took chances) but overall we were the new kids on the block and we brought a distinctly American (read, clean) approach to pro racing in Europe. It wasn’t easy. But with a tireless staff, great coaching and a brilliant team doctor we earned every win and the eventual respect of the European cycling community.

Lance Armstrong’s confession was watched by millions of people who, I’m afraid, now believe that all cyclists are dopers. I hear it every day. However, when applied to amateur racing, nothing could be further from the truth. Doping, on the local and regional level in the U.S., is virtually non-existent for two reasons. First, the cost of PED’s is prohibitively expensive for all but the wealthy. And second, U.S. rider demographics are predominately over 30, educated, professional and family oriented.

If those of us on the front lines of local/amateur racing hope to quiet the outrage associated with Lance and professional cycling, and preserve our heritage of club sport and athlete development, we must take every opportunity to inform our friends and families that Lance's world is about fame and fortune, not what we do as amateurs and weekend warriors. We are riders who simply love the sport for the lifestyle and health benefits it offers and who will never succumb to the pressures of competing in Europe.

Why My Daughter Cares About #doprah

Corey Green is part of the leadership team for the Lionhearts Junior Cycling Team and Program in Cincinnati and over the past few days, like Luke Armstrong-Lance's son, those juniors had to field questions about doping at school too.  It brings an interesting side to the conversation.

Days prior to Lance's #doprah special we got tidbits of "leaked" info, primarily that he "did it". You couldn't turn on a TV or even listen to the radio without hearing that Lance was going to admit Thursday night to Oprah.

As I thought about the proceedings and the forthcoming admission, I decided I didn't really care. I watched all his Tour de France's over and over on my basement trainer. I know every excruciating detail of those tours from Armstrong riding away from Zulle in 1999 to chasing down Fillipo Simeoni in 2004 to the famous "look" back to Ullrich on L'Alpe-d'Huez in 2001.  I have a barely worn t-shirt commemorating the look from Armstrong's Ride for the Roses ride in 2002.  Roughly 8000 others from that ride do too.  

I had watched this footage over and over, I knew there was no way Armstrong did it clean. When you watch him pull away from every previously confirmed doper, year after year, it doesn't take a genius to know it isn't a matter of "if" its confirmed, its "when". 

Still I needed to know more.  I needed to watch the Lance interview on Oprah, but not for me.  As you know from reading, I have been working with juniors for several years.  They would have questions and may even watch themselves. So I watched, curious what I would see and even more curious whether I would learn something.

The first night, I learned almost nothing, except for Lance Armstrong confirming his brash, unyielding and stubborn persona.  Night two I contemplated whether I should spend another hour watching.  The same conversation went through my head.  I was glad I watched.  Lance nearly broke down, but not for the reasons I had suspected. 

Lance nearly lost it when talking about Luke, his 13 year old son, defending his father at school. After the USADA report was delivered it had become increasingly difficult for a 13 year old to withstand the constant questions from other kids. The teen years are awkward enough without having to defend your dad's actions daily.

That's when it clicked with Lance.

As a dad I could see the anguish in Lance's eyes. It was easy for Lance to lie, control other people, inject EPO into his body, or meet in secret hotel locations to discuss strategy with doctors referred to as vampires. However, to uphold his secret, to maintain his control, it now meant his son, an impressionable teen, would have to lie too. He would have to continue to defend his dad no matter how complicated the situation, no matter when or where.

He told his son "don't defend me anymore." I can't imagine having that conversation.  I can't imagine what I would have do to put myself in the situation to have that conversation. It's quite a leap from the Easter Bunny.

Juniors on the Podium at Chicago Cup CX 2013

I hadn't expected the questions our juniors got at school. Other kids at school asked my juniors, my kids about drugs, why cyclists took drugs, and whether one of them did drugs themselves to improve their performance.

Until Lance on Oprah, I thought the situation only impacted current cyclists and riders from the previous generation, the guys who "did it." Tyler, Floyd, Ivan, Alex, Jan, etc, etc had taken the drugs and received their suspension.  Some disappeared.  Others returned to ride again. Without being known worldwide, their impact on the general public was minimal, and their issues came and went without my kids knowing.

Lance was different. Yellow LiveStrong bands graced the wrists of school kids of all ages. Certainly they didn't know the depth of LiveStrong and what it stood for, but they knew it was Lance and the bracelets were cool. He dated Sheryl Crow, hung with Robin Williams, was on Letterman and Leno every year, and even hosted Saturday Night Live.  The other kids at school knew who he was, what he did, and associated our kids with him because they were junior cyclists.

Pro CXer Kaitlin Antonneau Gives Tips To Junior Racers

Our quest is harder now. Lance didn't make adults 30 and over wonder about drugs and question whether all cyclists took drugs to go faster, he made anyone who could watch TV wonder.  Now, kids of all ages who love taking their bike out to the park to race and recently built a wealth of experience in Madison at Nationals were having to answer Oprah's questions. They didn't have to defend Lance - he excused himself - they had to defend their sport.

Lance wants a comeback.  Frankly I don't care if he rides or races or not, but his rehab program should include education to all of America that cycling isn't an evil sport. The world needs to know cycling is a community of good people, people who care not about themselves, but about a sport that provides lifetime fitness, a sport that Lance used and abused like a rental car to bring him fame and fortune. 

Funniest part of this whole story is how much Lance was just like the teens I spend my time working alongside. Teens are a combination of mature and immature at the same time. They understand complex emotional situations and teeter on the edge of making good and bad decisions. Their success rate is poor at times, but we all chalk it up to growing up and "those dang teen years." What do you do when a teenager needs an attitude adjustment or needs to see the fallacy in their decision making?

You take away something important to them.

Pushing The Lance Boulder Down The Hill

The elephant is in the room riding a tandem and twirling a soccer ball on his trunk, and only CNN last night got a glimpse of it.  It’s bigger than Oprah.  It’s bigger than Lance’s ego.  I watched Mike and Mike on ESPN this morning.  While they summarized the interview well, they quickly breezed through and went right on to the bigger, easier and tastier story of the day, the poor Notre Dame football player who got catfished.  I don’t blame ESPN.  It has to hurt when the self proclaimed world wide leader in sports gets scooped by Deadspin, the world wide leader in telling Donald Trump to go F himself.  Not to mention, catfishing a college football player is way more interesting to the majority of viewers than doping in a sport that only makes the news for three weeks in July.  But, what if there’s a bigger fish to fry?

My TOC Photos Take on New Meaning

What if there is systematic doping in Soccer, Football, Baseball, Basketball…sports where the money is bigger, the fame more intoxicating and the rules are way more lax?  What if your kid, your nephew, the high school phenom next door doesn’t have a shot at making the team unless Mom starts making room in the fridge pronto to store some blood?  On Oprah, you may see a mature man in his early 40’s, but think about how young he was when it started to get real.

Who’s asking these questions Sally Jenkins?  Isn’t it obvious that if Lance says he saw himself as being on a level playing field, that this is way bigger than we can imagine?  C’mon it’s cycling.  By salary comparison, most cyclists don’t make in a career what most football players make in a year.  Still, Lance alludes to a peloton 200 or so deep, all with their doctors and support staffs systematically doping, for at least 7 years.  Doping has to be engrained deeper in other sports.  Maybe that’ll come out on part two tonight with the 2^nd place world wide leader in sports, the Oprah Winfrey Network.

What's behind those drawn shades?

Let me help pull the wool jersey from over their eyes.  It couldn’t have stopped with Lance.  It couldn’t have stopped with baseball player hearings on Capitol Hill.  It must be still happening.  It can’t be one or two bad apples.  It’s has to be orchards upon orchards.  Sure cycling now has the biological passport and out of competition testing, but come on.  They don’t do a whole lot of that in football or baseball, where penalties are measured in days not years.  I’ve never seen a doping control tent at a ball game stadium.  History has shown us that doping has a way to stay a wheel length ahead of the knock on the door.  It can’t be only cycling.  Who’s shining the light on soccer, football, baseball, basketball?  Who’s nosing around those doctor’s offices?  Who’s swinging by the baseball team locker room for a look?  What’s going on in the college team hotel before the big game?  What are those kids really doing after school?

Damn I Loved George

Maybe it is up to Deadspin to dig it up and steal some more world wide thunder.  Last night we saw the fastest guy from the fastest team admit to years of systematic doping.  While Lance danced around giving “the look” to specific others, journalists could pull up any team roster from any sport and find some names, players, doctors, trainers to start with.  February sweeps are right around the corner.  If anything, Lance proved it’s not a witch hunt and more likely shooting fish in barrel. 

When you discover that doping likely didn’t come to a magical halt with cycling in 2005, and probably takes place in other sports, sports with crazy rock star money, sports with much more lax penalties for doping, then you’re getting at something.  Then take a look at how these athletes get to the pro level.  Who missed the cut?  Who’s next in line to make the pro jump?  Look at the feeder leagues.  Look at college sports.  Seriously, take a look at high school. 

Right now there are talented 14 year old kids out there who might have a chance to go pro, only they need to be much bigger, much faster and have much more endurance to compete with all the drug users and enablers that currently occupy the team rosters and staffs.  Put your arm around one of those kids, read the “side effects” of EPO, Testosterone, and Steroids and ask yourself, does it really matter if everyone is doing it?

Or, you could just run with this catfish thing.  

Video: Oprah Lance Code Red Promo Parody

It’s Not About Lance, It’s About You.

$20 OBO

It looks like a good day to stay off the internet, said pro rider Adam Myerson on Facebook.  I don’t blame him.  Facebook lit up with the language of Lance this morning.  I was aghast at some comments.  However, having a communications background, I’m a good listener with a very long fuse.  So far, two co-workers kiddingly popped in my office to make sure I was doing okay.  Cute.  I genuinely laughed out loud at a friend’s post that read something on the order of, “I think I overheard someone say Lance is now stripping.”  Chapeau!  A nice twist on words.  I rolled my eyes at another post showcasing an autographed yellow jersey and the caption, “$20 OBO.”  Laughter is the best medicine.  Thank goodness it’s not a banned substance because today we need all we can get.

All kidding aside, I told my coworkers I feel a bit empty.  The emptiness comes from knowing the outcome before it’s happened.  As cycling fans, we know where this road leads.  Under a thick cover of trees it’s dark and foreboding.  However, even with the front end sliding out on gravel in a corner, you keep your hands on the bars hoping the rubber grips ground for a miraculous save.  Right now, your knee is instinctively augering outboard.  We know it’s a matter of road rash or a broken collarbone.  Lance chose road rash. 

It’s still going to hurt.  It’s hard to watch.  We’re still peeking between our fingers.

Some of My Other Cycling Heroes

In bike racing there are things you can control and those you cannot.  We learn, we strive to perfect what’s in our control and quash what we can’t.  We lube chains the night before the race and never, ever, under any circumstances do we make mechanical changes before a race without riding the bike.  We kick ourselves when hindsight shows we could have prevented a mishap.  We throw up our hands and say “that’s bike racing” when riders two rows in front of you fall and take you out with them.  For better or worse, today’s news is bike racing.

We can’t control what comes next.  So, like Lance, I’m throwing up my hands and saying I’m done with this nonsense.  I’ve had it with this BS of stripping titles, taking back medals and negating record books.  I too am disgusted with the after-the-fact reshuffling of the deck.  Lance is right.  It is absurd.  Either someone wins at that moment on that day, or they don’t.  The guy standing atop the podium after the final day of the Tour De France should be the winner, cut and dry.  Riders want to win when they cross the finish line on the bike, not 10 years later on the phone.  Lance contends he knows who won those tours.  In a perfect world, he’d be right.  

"Ce qui est fait est fait."  What's done is done.

You can curse the USADA’s and UCI’s procedures.  You can say Lance passed all the tests, gave them everything they asked, played by the rules and is clean, by definition.  That’s all that matters right?  Or, you can look for the crack in the pavement and insist that somehow he was able to beat the system, but is a doper.  One thing is certain, if we keep this up, we’ll be saying that for the rest of our lives. 

I don’t want to live that way.  I’m not going to continue to beat a dead horse.  I think its obvious UCI, USA Cycling, USADA, and WADA need to change.  So do riders and promoters.  They need to make sure the guy they hand the trophy to is the winner.  I can’t do that.  I’m not part of cycling’s governing body.  I’m a guy on my couch with a remote control in one hand and a beer in the other.

Sometimes Being A Fan Isn't Easy

I love banging the couch cushions and hiding my eyes between my fingers.  I love watching riders make miraculous cyclocross saves through the grass of a switchback.  I love seeing guys get mercilessly spit out the back on long arduous climbs.  I love to watch riders pick themselves off the pavement and close the gap.  I love the lead-out train as much as the guy who beats it.  I love bike racing.   

Lance did what he thought was best for him.  My opinion is to take is his advice.  Whether you’re a cycling fan or part of racing yourself, do what’s best for you.  Go ride your bike, enjoy the wind in your face.  Ride hard.  Ride long.  If one day you’re faced with a choice, make a decision you can live with the rest of your life. 

Right now, as a fan, my decision is to continue to cheer.  However, I chose to no longer be crushed days, months, years later that the riders involved were doping.  Hopefully that will change.  Till it does, I will watch races, ring cowbells, shout “Allez” at the leader and call it a day.  Fin.  Game over.  I'll turn my back having enjoyed another bike race and not care about it anymore.  I got what I came for.  It’s no different than turning off the TV at night.  

Goodnight Lance.

Blink.

Cycling God Totem: De Vlaeminck Drops

In a previous post, Fabian Cancellara was moved down the The Best Bike Blog EVER's Cycling God Totem for post Flanders and Paris-Roubaix douchyness.  He is still not forgiven.  Like I said before, "...I don't care if my cycling gods win.  I prefer them to be heroic with a hint of humility."  Like Kramer said on Seinfeld once, "Poise Counts!"  Today, Roger De Vlaeminck moved a couple notches down the Cycling God Totem for comments he made about the rest of the peloton after Boonen's win at Paris Roubaix.  With that win, Boonen moved up.

Sure, Boonen was the man on Holy Sunday, deserving of the spot between Cancellera and Lance.  But to have De Vlaeminck label Boonen's competition at Paris-Roubaix as 3rd rate riders drips with douchyness.  Let's take note of the so called "3rd Rate" riders finishing behind Boonen: Thor Hushovd, George Hincapie, Flecha, Stuart O'Grady....while not competition for the win, even the 3rd rate Andre Greipel managed to get the bell on the velodrome with a group only 13 minutes down.  Of the 86 finishers, there's a lot of hard men on the list.

While Boonen has had his own personal problems (sniff) and as of yet has not posted wins at San Remo and the Giro Di Lombardia (which apparently is a measuring stick for De Vlaeminck,) we disagree with Roger and move Boonen ahead of De Vlaeminck on the Cycling God Totem.  Keep it up De Vlaeminck, the next totem notch is underground.  


Totem order: Eddy, Marco, Hinault, Lance, Boonen, Cancellara, De Vlaeminck.

Missing The Story: Jones Outsprints #Lance...Daughter Annoyed

This video has been circulating of Lance Armstrong seemingly snubbing his daughter at the finish of the Memorial Hermann Ironman 70.3 in Texas.  As he crosses the finish line, some say Lance completely ignores his daughter's ear piercing “Dad” shouts while holding a finisher’s medal.  I say phooey.  You’re completely missing the story here.  Like golf headlines featuring Tiger when someone else won the tournament, you're the one ignoring the guy with bib #34 living every cyclist’s dream and sprinting past Lance Armstrong.  I looked him up.  That guy pippin’ Lance for an extra payout spot is Jordan Jones of Golden, CO.

If you want a real venue to criticize parenting, visit the crazy town known as the local Easter Egg Hunt this weekend.  The way Jones flies into the frame, it's obvious to me the finish line is no place to stop for a daddy moment.  Aside from being 150 pounds traveling at high speed, athletes heart rates are pegged higher than a temper tantrum, their tummies really ache, their bodies feel like one giant boo-boo and their minds are so clouded with lactic acid and mileage math that, yes, unless there's a complete family emergency at the finish, off the course is probably a better place for a kiss to make it all better.  In a post race interview on the IronMan website, Lance describes the race as a sufferfest, stomach problems slowing him to a walk on part of the run, “I had significant GI issues on the run and even on the bike. I have to figure that part out otherwise you always run into issues where you can’t get food and liquid into the body.”  If you want more proof of what it's like to be in that moment, read Jordan Jones’ recolection of the finish below.  He didn’t even know he passed Lance Armstrong, one of the most famous and recognizable athletes in the world, till after he passed him.  However, there’ll be no apologies at the dinner table.

From TriJones.com: Going into the last lap with 4 miles to go I was in 9th and it was really game time.  It was hot and I was suffering but so was everyone else.  I got into 8th, the last prize money spot, and kept pressing.  At mile 12 I managed to catch Marino.

I surmised that I had 6 minutes to go and mentally chunked that into three two minute segments.  By the final two minutes, it hurt so bad that I had to start breaking it down into 100 meter sections in order to will myself to holding onto my pace all the way to the line.  With all of the work that I’ve put in and support I’ve gotten from others, I was going to fight for every possible second. Since it was a loop course, there were age group athletes completing their first loop around me but I didn’t perceive 6th place to be in sight.  Then, suddenly, where the course split between the finish line and more loops I saw an athlete just ahead take a left to the finish.  I instinctively started sprinting and expected the finish chute to be 100m long, giving me a shot at 6th.  I turned the corner and saw two things: where 6th place was and where the finish line was.  I realized that the finish was only 30 meters away, much closer than I had expected, but that I still had a shot at gaining one more spot.  I turned it up one more notch and absolutely went for it.  Right at the line I made the pass and realized it was Lance Armstrong.  (click here for the full story on TriJones.com)

The Other Men Who Wore Yellow, My Yellow

This is my 2000 Tour De France yellow jersey.  While there are many like it, this one is mine.  Few have seen it.  Ten years ago, a friend of mine worked as a broker for a bank in Amsterdam and through some connections came to own it.  When we visited, he passed the jersey onto me as a gift.  Ten years later, the color is still bright.  It’s never left my closet…except for once.  I couldn’t resist.  I put it on to see if it fit.  It did.  But I attest!  No one saw me, except for my wife and cats.  The honor of wearing this jersey in public still rests with the four men who wore it that year.  Yep.  Four.  Can you name them?  Without checking online? 

Digging into it, this jersey, even though it’s a commemorative one without the nifty full-zip in the back, has a story to tell.  Until a few weeks ago, I really only knew Lance Armstrong won the tour in 2000 and dreamed of getting this jersey signed by him, maybe with the help of some friends traveling to this year’s Tour of California.  The more I thought about it, as much of an icon status as Lance is and deserves, Lance’s command on the Tour de France blended years together.  During the Lance years, it wasn’t only Lance.  Many men wore the yellow jersey.  There was Ulrich and now Contador, and a whole list of other yellow jersey heroes with not so household names…the other men who wore yellow. 

Until a few weeks ago, the opportunity to get Lance to sign my jersey never presented itself.  He was in France, I was at home.  He was in Leadville.  I was…at home.  We couldn’t connect.  I though it’s time to seize the day.  Carpe Diem!  Then it occurred to me.  This jersey is not about chasing Lance.  This jersey signifies a 3 week battle for the highest honor in cycling.  In 2000, Lance didn’t win it on stage one and hold it till Paris.  There were 180 or so riders in the tour that year.  Of those, three others earned the Yellow jersey in 2000.  Wouldn’t it be great to get it signed by all four men: David Millar, Alberto Elli, Laurent Jalabert and Lance Armstrong?  Where are they now?  Who the heck is Alberto Elli?  I thought it’s possible that I might be able to have the jersey signed by Lance and David Millar at the Tour of California, but Alberto Elli and Jaja…oh brother.  This is a task that could consume a man for a lifetime. 

David Millar won the opening Time Trial in the 2000 Tour De France while racing for Cofidis.  Imagine that.  He beat Lance, the former winner, in a time trial.  I can’t picture him not wearing Argyle.  Millar’s now with the US based team Garmin-Transitions.  I assumed he’d be racing the Tour of California.  Not so according to the start list on the TOC website.  Dang it.  He’s racing the Giro and after a crazy stage 3, currently sits in 3rd overall one second behind Vino, the current maglia rosa wearer.  Good for him!  Clearly, Millar has bigger aspirations than the Tour of California.  Clearly, I’ll have to find another way to get Mr. Millar to sign my jersey.

I know Laurent Jalabert isn’t racing anymore, but maybe he’s involved somehow in cycling.  Maybe he’ll be at the Tour of California.  Well if you remember, Jaja wore yellow for ONCE in 2000 after winning the Team Time Trial.  In 2001, racing for CSC, the Frenchman won on Bastille Day, an honor in France that’s only 2^nd to becoming a saint and comes with the benefits of free baguettes and wine for life.  In 2002 he retired after winning the polka dot jersey in the TDF.  In ’05 he finished 391^st in the New York Marathon.  In ’07 and ’08 he competed in Iron Man triathlon events, finishing 76^th at the World Championships in Kona.  Now Jaja is a commentator for French television.  Guess I’ll have to make arrangements for the jersey to return to France.

What about this other guy named Alberto?  Aside from being a handsome Italian, winning a stage in the 2000 Tour De Suisse and the overall in Tour de Luxembourg, Alberto Elli wore the yellow jersey for 4 days in the 2000 Tour De France as the 2^nd oldest rider in the peloton.  2000 was Alberto Elli’s career defining year.  His savvy experience got him into a 12 man breakaway.  At the end of the day, the Duetsche Telekom rider was highest placed on GC and the yellow was draped across his shoulders without ever winning a Tour stage.  No doubt wearing the yellow in 2000 was the highlight of Elli’s career.  When the race kicked up into the Pyrenees, Lance took over the honor.  Then things went down hill.  In 2001 police found banned substances in Elli’s hotel room during the Giro.  In ’05, he was sentenced to 6 months in prison for the offense.  But, it’s 2010.  Maybe Elli’s still around.  He is.  Alberto Elli is currently the directeur sportif for Preti Mangimi Italian continental team.  I see a trip to Italy in my future.  I can deal with that.

So, while I’d be wobbly legged honored if Lance would lean across the security fence at the Radio Shack team bus at the Tour of California and sign my 2000 Tour De France yellow jersey, it would only be a start for this autograph seeker.  For better or worse David Millar, Laurent Jalabert and Alberto Elli are just as big of a part of my yellow jersey’s history as Lance.  The jersey deserves to meet them too and I’m a patient man.

Code Yellow! Worldwide Lance Monuments Under Attack

It’s Code Yellow for guards of Lance Armstrong monuments across the world.  Velo News reports that vandals have vandalized the monument dedicated to the very spot where Lance Armstrong broke his collarbone in Spain during the 2009 Vuelta a Castilla y León.  “Jesus Cristos,” a local exclaimed while standing in the spot once marked by a bike valued at $59.95 set in priceless Spanish concrete near the small village of Antiguedad.  Through a translator the local official reported, “the roadside tribute to the pileup that broke Lance Armstrong’s clavicle has been reduced from near worthlessness to absolute worthlessness.”

In response, officials in charge of safe guarding The Worlds Largest Yellow Rubber Bracelet (along with the Worlds Largest Sharpie and Worlds Largest Laptop Computer) are braced for the worst and are keeping their eyes out for anything that could destroy the once thought unbreakable Livestrong treasure.  Management remains optimistic knowing that so far nothing known to man has been able to damage a Livestrong bracelet in any way, except for futzing with them for hours until they give.

In France, authorities at L'Alpe d'Huez trusted to the security of the commemorative spot of “The Look” have set aside their cigarettes and wine and are reportedly being more vigilant in case vigilantes attack the giant latex human eyeball set atop an authentic red, white and blue U.S. Postal Service mailbox erected in 2001 to commemorate Lance’s stern look back at a chasing Jan Ulrich.

Closer to home, it is rumored that staff at Mellow Johnnies Bike Shop in Austin have now locked the doors, put all Lance memorabilia in the padlocked shed out back and are standing guard with skinny noodle biker arms crossed at the doors and exits armed with chain whips and oversized 15mm pedal wrenches in case anyone decides to try something funny.

As of right now, some Radio Shack stores remain closed.  Greg LeMond could not be reached for comment.

The Top 10 Reasons My Jamis Xenith Sold

American Idol Taylor Hicks once touched it and said, "I gotta get me one of these!" No kidding.

It can weigh 15.56 pounds if you build it up with Sram Red, Zipp wheels and carbon bottle cages, all of which I am keeping for myself. ;)

It’s been ridden on the foreign cobblestones of...uh...Covington, Kentucky.

It placed 7^th twice in Cat 3 road races, once in a breakaway and once in a bunch sprint. Yippie!

Unlike those pesky Trek Madone's that some ride, I was never severly injured on it.

If you like the Cincinnati Bengals or Halloween, it’s your favorite colors!

It also looks good with white bar tape for at least 3 days.

It can deliver a killer leadout so your Cat 2 teammate can snatch up that one 4th place point instead of a big cow-legged dude in a green and white kit.

If you have legs bigger than mine, you might be able to stick a heroic solo breakaway attempt like this:

It makes getting dropped from the lead group while suffering in a 95 degree July race a tiny bit better. See article below for details on how you can get your sweaty fanny on this incredibly gifted and blessed bike.

Lance Influencing Radio Shack Advertising?

I may just be a cog in Lance Armstrong's influence on Radio Shack marketing, but Jaden, one of our Facebook Followers, brought this to the attention of The Best Bike Blog Ever. On the Radio Shack website an MP3 player is advertised with a photo of a cyclocross racer on the screen. For $59.99, you can pick up the Mach Speed Zodiac 8GB Media Player and watch the replay of your performance on the CX course. It appears the cycling angle is working, the item is out of stock at the moment. I'm still waiting for the radio controlled team car and action figures to come out.

Missed Yellow By A Metric Second: Tour De France Stage 4 Results

Click here for VeloNews story.

Amstrong Gets Carbon Collarbone

(Nose Hit News Service 25 March 2009)  Call it bionic.  In a five and a half hour surgery March 25^th, seven time Tour Champion Lance Amstrong received what experts believe is the first carbon fiber collar bone replacement from Technosteo Inc.  Lighty patting Lance’s new shoulder at Amstrong’s Austin home, Astara Team Director, Johan Bruyneal hinted that this breakthrough should allow Lance to recover more quickly and possibly be competitive in the Giro. 

“Heat molded on-site according to specifications from an earlier MRI, Lance’s new collarbone will perform just like Lance’s old bone, but will be lighter, more impact resistant and have the vibration damping qualities of carbon fiber,” according to Dr. Van Nostrand, Chief of Surgery at the Costanza Institute for Sports Medicine in Houston.  Previously the carbon fiber bone replacement had only been performed on hip replacements.  “Carbon is the building block of life.  The possibilities of carbon fiber are endless,” said Doctor Van Nostrand.  He added, “The human body is less likely to reject something made from carbon as opposed to alloys.  In addition it can be more precisely tuned to better mimic the functionality of human bone.”  According to Technosteo Inc.’s website, the manufacturer of the high tech carbon fiber bone replacement, Lance’s new carbon collarbone weigh’s a scant 121 grams, roughly the same as a Ritchey WCS stem.  A typical human male collarbone weighs 256 grams.

Early April Fools.  Typos intended.  This is a fake news story.  Get well soon Lance!  

Lance & Lauer, O'Grady & Farrar Welcome To The Freak Shoulder Fraternity - PT Discount ID Cards Below

It’s a memory I repress.  I can’t quite remember when I got indoctrinated to the Freak Shoulder Fraternity.  I’m thinking in ’06, nearly three years to this day in fact.  That’s the photo of my freak shoulder there.  The photo was taken yesterday.  Still ugly, I know.  The diagnosis, a 3^rd or 4^th degree separation.  Surgery would’ve been for cosmetic reasons only.  So now I walk around with one arm slightly longer than the other.  No biggie.  Lance and Matt (Tyler Farrar and Stuart O'Grady too) should know it still works okay, but smarts now and then.  Although the chick appeal is gone.  My wife now gets a heebie jeebie shiver when she runs her hands across my shoulders and hits the freak bump.  It happened while pre-riding the Ohio Valley Spring Road Race Series course at Hueston Woods.  My left foot pulled out of my cheapo Ritchey pedal.  Knee hit handlebars.  Bars crossed up.  I drilled myself into the pave’ at probably close to 30mph.  It had to be the most painful injury ever.  I back that up with a torn ACL, a broken wrist, a meniscus tear and a childhood gash to the forearm from a metal file. 

Yesterday we heard the news of Lance Armstrong breaking his collarbone in Spain and TV's Matt Lauer injuring his shoulder doing a dodge the deer dive.  Today Lance and Lauer, O'Grady and Farrar, we welcome you with our open freak arms to The Freak Shoulder Fraternity.  Enjoy the Percocet while it lasts.  Print, clip and use your ID card (below) for great discounts at physical therapy clinics across the world.  We’ll see you in six to eight weeks.

 If you’re a member of the Freak Shoulder Club and would like to share your freakiness with the world and get your very own nifty ID card, email freaky photo proof here and we'll add you to the honor roll.

Versus Gets Down With Down Under

While watching the Dakar Rally highlights on my DVR (what can I say...I love wheels on dirt), a tease rolled at the bottom of the screen. The Tour Down Under and a year’s worth of bike racing goodness is on Versus starting this weekend (complete Cyclysm schedule as of 1/14/09 below.) With the deep freeze on its way, bikes on TV couldn’t have come sooner for us in the upper Midwest.

For the first time in a while, I went on the Versus website and cycling is more prominent than ever. A few months ago you had to dig deep into the pain cave to find the schedules and pages, now Cycling is listed at the top of the page right along with Indy, NHL and WEC. You can even sign up for email and text reminders so you don’t forget to set your DVR. While you’re there enter a poll to tell Versus why you plan on watching the Tour Down Under.

A: Because You Love Australia
B: Because Lance is Back
C. Because it’s on Versus

I chose C. While I am interested in seeing how Lance plays into the mix, I think most of us are truly fans of the sport and Versus needs to know that we’ll want to watch bike racing long after Lance has clipped out for the last time.

(Times Subject To Change)
Jan 18, 20-23 @ 4PM ET, Jan 24 @ 3:30PM ET andJan 25 @ 5PM ET
The Tour Down Under is the first stop in World Cycling after being granted UCI ProTour status - the first race outside of Europe to be given this ranking. Elite international athletes race around South Australia over a week in January in a bid to win the right to wear the Ochre Leaders Jersey.

Feb 14 @ 5PM ET, Feb 15 @ 6PM ETFeb 16 LIVE @ 12:30PM ET, Feb 17 LIVE @ 5PM ETFeb 18-20 LIVE @ 4PM ET and Feb 21-22 @ 5PM ET
The AMGEN Tour of California will bring the drama and excitement of a professional bicycle stage race to the California coast. The world's top professional teams will compete over an eight-day, 650-mile race on a route that includes the California redwoods, wine country and the Pacific Coast.

Mar 8 and Mar 15 @ 5PM ET
Also known as "The Race to the Sun", the Paris Nice is the first big stage competition of the season. This eight-stage cycling race kicks off the UCI Pro Tour, and covers over 1000km of road from Paris to the finish on the Promenade des Anglais in Nice.

Mar 29 @ 5PM ET
Created in 1932, le Critérium International in France will welcome the cycling elite from around the world for a traditional three part race, a flat stage, a mountain stage and an individual time trial, taking place over two days.

Apr 5 @ 5PM ET
The Tour of Flanders (Ronde van Vlaanderen) is the biggest race in Belgium and a true cycling classic that highlights the spectacular and often dramatic nature of professional cycling. The twisting route through the lanes of the Flemish countryside, the steep cobbled climbs that often decide the winner, and the millions of spectators along the route, makes every edition of the Tour of Flanders a race to remember.

Apr 12 @ 4PM ET
Created in 1896, Paris-Roubaix is a reference event, marked by its rigorous criteria and its personality. It tests both man and machine to the bounds of resistance, over a course which is tailored to legendary exploits. Known as the "Hell of The North" this is the most rugged of the spring classics as the race makes its way over the muddy cobbled roads in France.

Apr 26 @ 3PM ET
Created in 1892, Liege-Bastogne-Liege is the oldest of cycling races. It is one of the most prestigious and exacting events of the season. It not only covers the hilliest part of Belgium, but the end of this race includes a succession of high-gradient climbs.

Apr 26 @ 3:30PM ET
La Fleche Wallonne is the first of the Ardennes classics, and is often quite a good predictor for Liege-Bastogne-Liege, although it is rare that the two races are won by the same rider. The two races are less cobbled and hillier than the previous three rounds of the World Cup.

May 3 @ 4PM ET
The Tour de Romandie is a short stage that tests rider's all round ability. The six-day race always includes two flat stages for the sprinters, a time trial, rolling stages in the hills and a tough mountain finish in the breathtaking Alps. It is the final race leading to the Giro d'Italia and is an early indication of who will be where for the Tour de France.

Jun 7, 9, 14 and 15 @ 5PM ET
The Dauphine Libere, a week-long race comes at a strategic moment in the season as the leading stage race riders begin to fine tune their fitness and always indicates who will be a contender in the summer stage races. The route of the Dauphiné Libéré always includes some of the legendary Alpine climbs, as well mountain stages, time trials and flat stages to create a thrilling race.

Jun 14 and 15 @ 6PM ET and Jun 21 @ 5PM ET
The Tour de Suisse is one of the biggest and most prestigious stage races in the UCI ProTour and will be held for the 71st time this year. The nine days of racing are held across the whole of Switzerland, with this year's race starting in Olten in the north of the country with a 3.8 km prologue and finishes in Bern with a 34.2 km time trial for a total of 1225 km of racing.

July 4-26
The Tour de France is the most prestigious bicycle race in the world. First held in 1903, the race takes a three-week route through France. Tour de France will be made up of 21 stages and will cover a total distance of 3,500 kilometres. The Tour de France is considered the most difficult race on the calendar due to the extreme terrain and the top level of competition. The winner of the race is generally regarded as the top cyclist that year regardless of other race results.

Oct 11 @ 5PM ET
The third biggest cycling event in the world is The Vuelta A Espana, or the Tour of Spain. This year's edition covers 21 stages including three time trials and seven mountain stages. It is often the most difficult race on many riders' calendars, and the battle for the overall win usually comes down to the last few days. This year's field is very strong. Favorites who will battle for the Golden Fleece include Spaniards Oscar Pereiro and Alejandro Valverde, American Tom Danielson of Team Discovery, Russian Denis Menchov and Alexander Vinokourov of the newly formed Team Astana.

Oct 11 @ 6PM ET
Paris-Tours is the last presitgous race on the cycling calendar, covers over 250 k in one day. Sprinters thrive here with a three kilometer finish straight on the Avenue Du Grammont.

Nov 8 @ 6PM ET
The Tour du Faso was created in 1987, and in less than 20 years, it has become the greatest professional race in Africa, reflecting the vitality of its creators. There are 11race stages, one rest day, 1305.5 km and six riders per team.