Tuesday, January 20, 2009

iPod iKnot

This is the reason I blow out blood vessels on my forehead.  This is the iKnot.  If someone could figure out how to tie one, they’d make ka-jillions. The iKnot is so powerful it could be used to tether the space shuttle to the launch pad in hurricanes or at least keep cowboys on their bulls for 8.1 seconds.  Unfortunately, I can barely figure out to untie one in fewer than ten minutes.  So, I remain penniless with needless frustration slowly taking months off my lifespan.

I used to think the iKnot was caused by carelessly tossing my iPod back into my backpack willy-nilly.  I now believe it’s caused by my cats.  I think they pull my iPod out while I’m sleeping, bat it around the house for a few hours and when the first sliver of dawn slices through the blinds, one of them quickly tucks it back into my pack and diabolically meows, “Good morning Joe.”  You always wondered why cats like to sneak up next to your head when you’re sleeping.  It’s because they are making sure you are completely unconscious before they evoke chaos in your house, like taking one of your socks out of the dryer and hiding it.  It’s either that or iPod headphone cords are an undiscovered alien life form that cunningly consumes the Earth’s inhabitants with needless busy work while they secretly take over the world.  As much as that is plausible (Myth Busters), I’m sticking with the cats.

So, over the weekend, I set out devising a way to avoid the iKnot.  Here’s how to keep your iPod from developing tangles and becoming an iKnot:

First, when you put them away, coil the cord loosely around your hand, making sure the ear buds and iPod don’t get caught in the cord. 

Then tuck them in your bag or wherever you keep them.  To be safe, put them inside something that requires thumbs.  Unlike doors, like on your dryer, cats cannot operate zippers.

Now, when it’s time to use your iPod for a bike ride or a run, pull them out in one big bunch and set them on a flat surface.  Here’s the secret.  Grab the iPod either by the ear buds or by the iPod itself and lift straight up.  Wah-lah!  iPod headphone cords miraculously untangle themselves.  I tried this at least 4-5 times, and it worked every time. 

If this doesn’t work, and you don’t have cats…you might want to keep an eye out for spacecraft decorated with the Apple logo.

Kill some more time: take the iKnot poll on the right.


jaden said...

Joe I thought you were going to be suggesting wrapping the cord around that cassette you have on the desk.

Joe Biker said...

If it didn't weigh more than my current bike, I might do that. That's a paper weight/pen holder. It's a souvenier from fixing a co-worker's bike, it's an old Suntour 30-13 screw-on 7-speed that's missing a tooth. I guess it's kinda like recycling too. Ooh look at me be green.