Challenge Limus: The Waffle Making Miracle Tire

It’s August 26th.  Do you know where your Limus Is?  It’s the greatest thing since the first hipster picked up a hacksaw, it’s the Challenge Limus.  The way cyclocrossers are snatching up this new mudder, you’d swear it could cook Belgian waffles on Sunday mornings.  From all the hype I’m not entirely convinced it wasn’t originally an Apple product, the iTire.  Seriously hup-hupsters, it’s a tire…not the 2^nd coming.

Mythically speaking, Limus is sort of a god, the personification of starvation and hunger.   It also means mud, slime or muck.  Combined, Limus is a Greek God hungry for mud.  Bow down.  All hail, the miracle tire is here.   If you don’t have one, prepare for doom, the rapture of crosspocalypse.

Crossers see it as second coming of our Lord Rhino.  At about $30 less expensive with the same amount of bite of the demi-god Dugast and available at the 33 UCI size limit, the Challenge Limus seems like it will get you through anything including bunny hopping alligators in a swamp for $95 each, or about the same price as the tires on my 4-Runner.  There’s no question it can level snotty off camber corners and allow you to ride up the side of a mud-hut in the CX Grand Prix of Slopville. 

You should know the Limus has limits, like you'll probably still have to train for cyclocross racing.  Before you sharpen your elbows for the checkout battle at your local bike shop, here is a list of miracles the Limus can’t perform: make it snow in September, cook waffles, shave the elusive patch of hair on your hamstring, turn grey bar tape white, ring cowbells when you need them most, stop your carbon fork from shuddering, mail you an upgrade sticker, give you calves the size of grapefruits, locate the knee warmers you left at the start line, ensure the race announcer pronounces your name correctly, keep your sunglasses from fogging up 100 meters from the start, get you home from the race at the exact time you promised your wife you would be home and be useful on the concrete known as September race courses.  Other than that, it’s perfect.

Bike Vacation: Rent or Your Own Ride

Like a backpack stitched with cloth patches from Amsterdam and Canada and suitcases covered in stickers from Paris and Rome, a bike that’s been to far away lands becomes a better bike. However, I’d never put a sticker on my bike. Those go on the toolbox, roof rack or workstand. I’ve rented bikes in the Florida Keys, Maui, Breckenridge and Whistler, but shipped my Niner Air 9 to Park City. The few times we’ve been to Park City it’s always been around Labor Day, when the good rentals are being sold off, leaving nothing but dusty dirty beaters for the end of season traveler.

If I had my way, I’d ship my bike on every vacation. Nothing beats the familiarity and trust of having your own ride on unfamiliar ground. Plus a bike that’s tackled everything from Pisgah to Slickrock is more of a trusted friend than only a bike. Vacations are much better with your best friend. Still, sometimes it makes more financial sense to rent a friend. The key is finding a good friend.

Tell Me There's Not An Alien In There

I’ve never flown with my bike. I’ve always been shocked at the prices airlines charge to bring a bike along as luggage, only to marvel at the giant golf club bags stuffed with everything but illegal immigrants being checked for free. Consequently, I’ve always shipped it, usually FedEx, in a regular cardboard bike box gleened from a local shop. Make sure you get all the packaging material with the box. Shipping via FedEx ground takes about 3-5 business days to anywhere in the lower 48, and usually runs about $100-$125 for a mountain bike each way with insurance. I usually ship the bikes to a bike shop in the city I’m visiting. I’ve considered shipping to the home of a friend, precisely why it’s always good to stay in touch with your friends that have moved out of town. You never know when that Facebook friend in Denver or Scotland will come in handy.
Here’s some things to consider when deciding whether to bring your own bike on vacation or rent from a local shop.

Fav Travel Shop: A Races Edge in Breckenridge

The Local Shop:
Find a shop you like before you travel. Ask your friends. Call around. Yes, talk to them. Besides, finding out what types of bikes they have and how well they’re spec’d, you’ll know right off the bat if they take time with you on the phone or blow you off as quickly as possible. While the rental sheet may say hardtails are only $35/day, one shop may have Diamondback beaters with low level components while the guys down the street have brand new Santa Cruz Blurs with XT. In Breckenridge one year, my wife and I were able to find race-level demo bikes from Litespeed and Rocky Mountain equipped with XTR, a total score. Moreover, you want to call and talk to them. Find out who’s friendly, which shop heads up the local Wednesday night group ride, who will go the extra mile to show you the trails and which one will help fit you properly on your rental. They key is to find a shop that you can call home while away from home. If you decide to ship your bike to the shop, tell them that you’re a good customer. Let them know, even though you’re not renting from them that you’ll definitely shop their store while you’re in town.

Fav Travel Shop: Maui Cycles Lahaina

Time of Year
The best time to rent is after Memorial Day, the rental fleets are new and the selection is high. Conversely, the worst time to rent is the week of or after Labor Day when the rentals are being sold off and you’ll be left to choose between a tiny 15 inch mountain bike or a skyscraper 60cm road bike. However the bonus of traveling around Labor Day is that many of the mountain town bike shops have huge sales as they try to sell off their inventory before ski season.

Availability:
Search the internet for races and rides where you are staying. You’ll have a tough time finding a quality rental when the Ironman comes to Kona or when the Peaks Challenge is in Park City.

Fav Travel Shop: Owner Mary at Bike Barn in Phoenix

Price:
How Much Riding are you doing: I’m an avid cyclist, but you have to be real about how much time you’ll be on the bike. If you travel Saturday to Saturday, right off the bat you won’t be riding on Saturdays, leaving you six days to ride. If you’re traveling to someplace with elevation, you likely wont be riding very far on Sunday until you get adjusted to the altitude. Ask yourself, will I really ride six days? Maybe you’d like to hike once or twice, go rafting, or spend a day at the pool. More often than not, I find that I really only ride 4-5 times while on vacation. Considering a good high end rental will cost $45-55 for 24 hours, you might be better off renting. If you rent after 1pm, you can ride in the afternoon that day, wake up early, and get a 2nd ride in on the same rental the following morning. Essentially, you can eek two long rides out of a one day rental. Brilliant!

Learn Italian & Train For Nats: Fisher-Price Smart Cycle

You’ve muscled through Moab, pedaled the Blue Ridge Parkway, but you haven’t ridden a bike till you’ve mastered Math Mountain, Shape Lake, Number Fields and Letter Creek.  I saw the TV commercial for this, The Fisher Price Smart Cycle Racer and immediately the heel of my own hand fumped me in the forehead.  Donk!  Much like riding a bike in Cincinnati traffic, it’s a kids exercise bike where you can ride through a wacky interactive educational video game world.  Why didn’t I, a guy who silent pokes fun at fat kids eating caramel apples in mom and dad’s car while I ride by the local farmers market, a guy who once kept a notebook of goofy million dollar ideas including putting the phone book on a memory card for your cell phone, think of this.  It solves two of the nations biggest problems, big fat stupid kids, at once.  I always tell myself the best ideas come from stuff you’re passionate about.  I like writing and cycling but I'm not a big fan of children.  So once again, I point out someone else’s brilliance on my blog in hopes of hornswoggling another Facebook follower.  Fisher Price will make ka-jillions.  Whether it’ll be another cast away toy to trip over two weeks after Christmas is another story.  

But…but.  Maybe there’s room to expand on this.  Maybe I, Joe Biker, can take this “To A Ho Nutha Leh-vo.”  Sooner or later the temperature will plummet and I’ll beg Revolution Fitness for a deal on a three month gym membership to get back in shape for the 2011 season.  No doubt I’ll spend 5-6 hours in the gym every week till I forget what it feels to ride outside of the garage.  What if there was a learning trainer for adults, like a Computrainer without the fake California landscape and maddening diagrams of your poor pedaling technique?  What if instead of watching a DVD of Paris Roubaix or John Cusack in the movie High Fidelity for the 13^th time, you could learn Italian with the Rosetta Stone Smart Cycle Racer.  Maybe I could get my Masters degree from the Xavier University at Fisher-Price, learn how to make my own Clif Bars, or tie a bow tie in a fun video game way all while getting massive base miles for the Mohican 100.

Of course it’d need some refinements, unless the reasonably priced $85 Fisher-Price bike would be an upgrade from what you’ve been noodling around town.  Just like hooking up a Computrainer, you could ride your own bike, and swap the software cartridge out in your bottle cage.  Now, imagine crushing the climb up Fluent Italian Mountain, winding your way through Journalism 401 Forest and finishing up with intervals along Bow Tie Creek.

Fisher Price Bike Recall Causes Total Tizzy at Aussie Jr. Trike World Championships

(Nose Hit News Service-Melboune Austrailia)  Five year old female Junior Recumbent Trike World Champion hopeful, Joelle Bikerski is pissed.  She crossed her arms, furrowed her brow and insisted she’s actually five and a half.  This week Fisher Price, her lightweight high end bike sponsor, recalled the exact bike she planned to ride at this weekend’s World Championships in Australia.  Just days before the big race, she and the other superstars of aerospace thermoplastic tricycle racing in the 4-6 year old category, such as Fabiene Cancellero and Georgette Hincappy, are left scrambling to find another bike their parents will let them ride. 

“I don’t want to bust a nut on that piece of crap,” exclaimed another 5 year old sponsored athlete who stuck his thumb in his mouth and violently shook his head from side to side refusing to be identified.  Australian Police put up barricades and traffic control devices around the local Toys-R-Aussie to keep parents from throwing a complete hissy fit over the recall.  “She’s five years old and at the prime of her career,” exclaimed one outraged parent slash coach slash diaper changer.  “Next year she’ll be over the hill like Brett Favre and Lance Armstrong.”

The sound of pouting, kicking and screaming could be heard all around the athlete’s village.  At press time World Championship organizers were busy trying to make nice-nice with free ice cream and book an emergency concert by rock band The Wiggles.

For more on the recall, click here for CNN article.

What Is This Cincinnati Bike Rider Doing?

A)  Testing The Latest Big Screen GPS Unit from Garmin?

B)  Watching The Tour of Flanders?    

C)  Watching And Starring In A Dave Chappelle Show Skit?

D)  Rocking The New "Trucker" Helmet From Bell Sports?

E)  Heading Home After Getting His Ride Pimped?

F)  Starting The Craze For The Latest "Utility" Bike?

G)  Demonstating The New Ultra-light Pannier Bag From Hefty?

H)  Proving That He Can Out Climb Most Pro's?

I)  Enjoying His Last Hour Of Freedom On Price Hill's Cobbles?

click here for answer