Friday, August 26, 2011

Challenge Limus: The Waffle Making Miracle Tire

It’s August 26th.  Do you know where your Limus Is?  It’s the greatest thing since the first hipster picked up a hacksaw, it’s the Challenge Limus.  The way cyclocrossers are snatching up this new mudder, you’d swear it could cook Belgian waffles on Sunday mornings.  From all the hype I’m not entirely convinced it wasn’t originally an Apple product, the iTire.  Seriously hup-hupsters, it’s a tire…not the 2nd coming.

Mythically speaking, Limus is sort of a god, the personification of starvation and hunger.   It also means mud, slime or muck.  Combined, Limus is a Greek God hungry for mud.  Bow down.  All hail, the miracle tire is here.   If you don’t have one, prepare for doom, the rapture of crosspocalypse.

Crossers see it as second coming of our Lord Rhino.  At about $30 less expensive with the same amount of bite of the demi-god Dugast and available at the 33 UCI size limit, the Challenge Limus seems like it will get you through anything including bunny hopping alligators in a swamp for $95 each, or about the same price as the tires on my 4-Runner.  There’s no question it can level snotty off camber corners and allow you to ride up the side of a mud-hut in the CX Grand Prix of Slopville. 

You should know the Limus has limits, like you'll probably still have to train for cyclocross racing.  Before you sharpen your elbows for the checkout battle at your local bike shop, here is a list of miracles the Limus can’t perform: make it snow in September, cook waffles, shave the elusive patch of hair on your hamstring, turn grey bar tape white, ring cowbells when you need them most, stop your carbon fork from shuddering, mail you an upgrade sticker, give you calves the size of grapefruits, locate the knee warmers you left at the start line, ensure the race announcer pronounces your name correctly, keep your sunglasses from fogging up 100 meters from the start, get you home from the race at the exact time you promised your wife you would be home and be useful on the concrete known as September race courses.  Other than that, it’s perfect.

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