Thursday, September 30, 2010

Fisher Price Bike Recall Causes Total Tizzy at Aussie Jr. Trike World Championships

(Nose Hit News Service-Melboune Austrailia)  Five year old female Junior Recumbent Trike World Champion hopeful, Joelle Bikerski is pissed.  She crossed her arms, furrowed her brow and insisted she’s actually five and a half.  This week Fisher Price, her lightweight high end bike sponsor, recalled the exact bike she planned to ride at this weekend’s World Championships in Australia.  Just days before the big race, she and the other superstars of aerospace thermoplastic tricycle racing in the 4-6 year old category, such as Fabiene Cancellero and Georgette Hincappy, are left scrambling to find another bike their parents will let them ride. 

“I don’t want to bust a nut on that piece of crap,” exclaimed another 5 year old sponsored athlete who stuck his thumb in his mouth and violently shook his head from side to side refusing to be identified.  Australian Police put up barricades and traffic control devices around the local Toys-R-Aussie to keep parents from throwing a complete hissy fit over the recall.  “She’s five years old and at the prime of her career,” exclaimed one outraged parent slash coach slash diaper changer.  “Next year she’ll be over the hill like Brett Favre and Lance Armstrong.”

The sound of pouting, kicking and screaming could be heard all around the athlete’s village.  At press time World Championship organizers were busy trying to make nice-nice with free ice cream and book an emergency concert by rock band The Wiggles.

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