Monday, April 6, 2009

Flanders Big Mama Bike Chains

Big men don’t cry.  They don’t walk either.  They insist on Flanders Big Mama brand bicycle chains.  

Big Mama is built with GX45 cold forged steel, recycled from bridges, tanks and locomotives destroyed in the Flemish battlefields of WW2.  Big Mama may rust, but Big Mama won’t bust.  

Big Mama bike chains feature 2.5 mm armored side plates and pins as big as your pinky.  All Flanders Big Mama chains are hand built in Belgium in the dead of winter by slamming each individual pin into the linkage with a cobble from the Koppenberg.  

When you absolutely need to make it up the hill or risk being dropped from the lead group and left wondering where in the F*** your team car is, ask your local bike shop for Flanders Big Mama chains, available in either the standard 4000g or the superlight 3750g version.  

Big Mama may not be light, but it’s better than carrying your bike.  When you want to freight train, buy the chain made from freight trains.  

Flanders Big Mama Bike Chains.


Zoo said...

Are these real? I can't find them on google.

Joe Biker said...

No, but I'm sure you and Cancellara aren't the only ones that wish they were. Photo is of a motorcycle chain. I write ad copy for a living, and couldn't resist doing something with the photo. Thanks for the left handed compliment and thanks for reading.

Paul said...


I ran a 3/16 bmx chain on my old SS MTB. It weighted a ton (metric) and never broke, bout what i expected :]