Lose Yourself in 2012-13 Cyclocross

I’m guessing this is the point in his training where Michael Phelps fired up the bong, aka The Rest Week.  While I don’t condone pulling a Phelps, with the sun of this year’s World Championship cyclocross season rising on the horizon, I clearly see why he needed the break.  In order to be the most decorated Olympian in history, he needed to be Mike for a while.  Go to Vegas.  Play video games.  Blow off practice.  Walk around with a case serial killer bed head hair.  On July 23^rd, my coach, Chris Mayhew at JBV Coaching, assigned me a two week break from riding.  He knows this season is special, a once in a lifetime perhaps.  Yesterday was the last day of slacking before a season that’ll end with the World Championships. 

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

I’m trying to balance levity with the magnitude of the opportunity.  Maybe you’re holding back your excitement too, and that’s why I sort of feel alone in the pursuit.  Even with the flame burning in London, I’m not getting the feeling that many grasp what a gift the 2012-13 cyclocross season calendar is.  Locally in the Ohio Valley we have clinics featuring Jeremy Powers and Kaitlin Antonneau, a cyclocross series in OVCX that’s on par with New England and the Northwest, the Cincy 3 Cyclocross Festival, Cross After Dark, USGP races in Madison and Louisville, a huge UCI weekend in Chicago, Nationals nearby, a Worlds warm up race in Cincinnati and then, finally the Cyclocross World Championships in Louisville for both Masters and Elite.  Oh-My-God!  What a Cyclocross Season!

Harbin Park, site of Cincy 3 CX Festival, circa 2001

12 years ago, you had your choice of three races: A, B, or C. The course was hastily marked with flags and orange spray paint.  This year, you’ll see national jerseys on the backs of European stars wiz past your nose through the fog of your frozen breath.  I’m not saying cyclocross is going to disappear in 2014, but right here, right now, for many of us this season is the best chance we’ll ever have to plant our cleats as high as we can on the summit of cross mountain.  This is the perfect opportunity to grab the low hanging cowbells.  Without pounding a nail in the cross-coffin, for those on the upper end of the Masters demo, you’ll likely never have this chance again without dipping into your 401(k) for plane tickets and baggage fees to Europe.  This is your Eminem “Lose Yourself” moment. 

Marshall Mathers turns 40 in October, racing age 41.

2008 OVCX Gun Club Carnage

Oddly, I feel almost alone in the pursuit, and mine has nothing to do with the podium.  Outside the voices in my head, I’m not feeling a buzz, your buzz.  Maybe it has something to do with the individualistic approach we have to cyclocross or cycling in general.  We know better than to hang our hopes on one race.  Dreams can be dashed on a sharp root or a slick corner.  We purse our lips and swallow back notions of excitement, in case they are dashed with a 25mph header into a sand pit.  But this season is different.  Never before have we had so many major events, so many chances to feel a little glory. 

Masters 45-49 World Champs Seeding Startline Jan 2012

So, afford yourself the chance and share your excitement.  Get off the fence.  Register.  Let the tiny cowbells in your head crescendo into some thing on par with the bum-bum-BA-bum-bum rumble of the Olympic Theme kettle drum.  Share your goals on your Facebook status.  Remember what a treasure it is to have that photo of yourself towing the start line at Worlds.  Hire a coach.  Snatch up that non-stop January flight from Denver to Louisville that I saw online for $262 round trip.  Volunteer as a course marshall.  Book the hotel for that faraway race or pro clinic you’re on the fence about.  Show up early for the juniors.  Stay late for the post race party.  Create a Power Point to convince your family that Chicago, Madison, Cincinnati and Louisville are wonderful places to visit in the winter.  The next six months will fly by and we need to make the most of it.  I can’t wait to be wearing a rain jacket, rubber boots, eating a waffle, drinking from a flask and standing next to you as we hang over the banners at Worlds screaming “Allez!”

Cross Nation, this year is special and we need more cowbell.

#26.2 Stickers & Other Things To Let Go Of

Maybe that’s why people have stick children on their windows and put 26.2 stickers on their bumpers.  I too want to wave it around for everyone to see.  Look!  Look what I did.  I raced a marathon!  I created a monster that can’t control his two year-old self in the cereal aisle at Kroger.  I’m fit, awesome and my buns look hot in cycling shorts!

But that’s exactly what I’m doing.  I’m trying to hang my hat on something.  Problem is, hanging your hat implies being done and I’m far from that.

It’s still the desktop background on my computer, the picture from Cyclocross Magazine of me finishing 30^th place and on the lead lap at the 45-49 Masters Cyclocross World Championships.  It’s my lei from Iron Man in Kona. It’s my baby.  It’s my 26.2. 

I don’t want to come off the high.  I like being him.  Still riding the buzz of the pink bike, I’m having a hard time entering another race.  I want to stay the guy whose last race was Worlds.  They always say, “You’re only as good as your last race.” 

So, I want the stick figures on my back window to show a skinny husband and wife on bikes, two cats, our 6 other bikes, the outlines of all the countries and states where we’ve vacationed and the logo from the 2012 Cyclocross Masters World Championships in Louisville.  Look!  Look what I did!

But, that’d be idiotic.  The meaningful moments of my life couldn’t fit on ten rear windows and the schmo behind me pulling into a Walmart parking lot cares as much about Cyclocross Worlds as I care about why he's pushing a cart full of Sudafed.  We don’t exist to impress other people.

However, while it’s not impressive, a cart full of Sudafed does sort of identify you, and not as someone who has a really stuffy nose.  Same goes for the 26.2.  It says you’re a long distance runner and probably look good in shorts.  And, that “I Heart CX” sticker says the driver likes racing weird bikes in the mud. 

Rico!

If that’s so, that’s not saying much.  This is precisely why I don’t have a tattoo.  One day you put a 26.2 or etch rainbow stripes on your arm and the next thing you know, you’re forever locked in the past like the football tossing Uncle Dork in Napoleon Dynamite.

We’re more than that.  Lives can’t be defined by stickers and tattoos.  So, while your 26.2 sticker, his IM tattoo and my World Championship finishers medal are good keepsakes and reminders of who we are and what we can achieve, there’s no good reason to cling to that one shining moment in fear that you can’t have another.  Mementos should keep you looking forward not back.  

Go out on a high note?  Whatever.  That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.  Sign me up for another bike race.  Even if I finish DFL, maybe I will try trail running.  Even if it was a good showing at the World Championships, an ear piercer of a high note, I don’t want to go out on it.  I’m not done.  Life is a symphony, not a song. 

#CXMasters2012 A Softie Riding Hard

Shielding my tears from two young girls no doubt waiting for their Dad to cross the line, I broke down after the finish at the Masters Cyclocross World Championships in Louisville.  When I told my wife about wearing my emotions on my jersey sleeves at the finish she rolled her eyes.  She knows me.  I also cried on my wedding day.  My shoulders rattled with man sobs and sniffles.  A photographer snapped pictures of the newly crowned 45-49 year old Masters World Champ Don Myrah next to me but I swear he snuck a click or two in my direction.  I wiped my face, mixing tears with mud and put my head in arms atop my handlebars till it passed.  Under it all I smiled.  Like my wedding day, I was happy.  My friends and family will tell you I’m a softie.

I remember seeing the Cycling Dirt video of Adam Myerson after an east coast race.  Completely emotional, torn apart and crying, he was upset that he thought that day was his day.  Oh please spare me.  He made the lead group in the Elite race only to have one small thing derail his hopes.  He was crushed under the thoughts of all that training, practice and meticulous attention to detail seemingly being of no use.  All he wanted was that one good day on the bike.  I rolled my eyes watching the video.  It’s just bike racing.  There’s always another race.  That's what I thought until my day came.

“Do you want me to put it on you?”  Barb, one of the Worlds organizers and a Louisville race promoter, offered to drape the finisher’s medal over my helmet.  I chuckled and sniffed.  My buddy Jimmy talked about finishers medals on the trip down and how bullshit they are.  He told me he once turned one down, dismissing it by saying medals should only go to the winners.  I remained indifferent.

Smiling, Barb held it out, a white enameled medallion hung from a red, white and blue ribbon.  She recognized me as her “results runner” from the USA Crit Series at Cincinnati’s Hyde Park Blast.  Being close to many of the Papa John’s team riders from Louisville and knowing practically every rider in the Ohio Valley racing scene, she knew first hand all the hill repeats, practice dismounts, and garage trainer nights that brought me to this moment. 

The Pink Pony Pit Bike

The same feelings that Adam Myerson wrestled with on his bad day were welling up and spilling out from me.  It’s not just a bike race.  World Championship or not, it really has nothing to do with the race.  It’s all those hard-guy miles, intervals and practice carries that come back at the finish line to give you one last kick in the ass and slap across the face.  Just when the dues are paid, you get one last call from the collection agency, and like Myerson, I paid in tears. 

At the beginning of the season, all I wanted out of Nationals and Worlds was to be competitive with the best my age.  Seeing the names Fred Rose, Mike McShane and Jonathan Card on the prereg list, I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but after racing the USGP in Louisville that I could stay within 2 minutes of them.  Concrete, specific and (hopefully) attainable, I set my mark on the top 35 and the lead lap at Nationals and Worlds.  That’s not too much to ask from my Sven Nys prayer candle.

Then former Olympian, Don Myrah crushed the field on the 9am frozen ruts at Nationals in Wisconsin.  Even though we weren’t lapped, we probably would have been.  My teammate Mike and I were pulled, officially 2 laps down, 40th and 41st.  I hit the deck three times that day and more course marking stakes than I can count.  Still, I felt good with my ride.  However anticlimactic and disappointing, I still had one more chance, 500 miles, 2 loads of laundry, and 1 bike cleaning away in Louisville.   

"Onetago" Courtesy CXMagazine.com

“Onetago, onetago, one-to-go!”  The announcer shouted as I got the bell.  I buried myself on that last lap, gained three spots and lost two.  I went no handed over the line, clapping my hands, applauding for myself.  I cruised into the finishing chute on the lead lap and the 29^th rider to cross the finish line at the 45-49 year old Masters Cyclocross World Championships.  I nodded, wiped my nose on my armwarmer and Barb slipped the medal over my helmet.  

#Cyclocross Sizing Tires Like Carry-on Bags

A 33cm Clement PDX Clincher Too Fat for UCI

Even that spiky haired Food Network culinary star Guy Fieri will tell you a cup of flour is not necessarily a cup of flour.  It depends on how it’s measured.  The UCI device for measuring width of cyclocross tires is the heaping tablespoon of baking.  The maximum legal width for a cross tire is 33mm.  It says right there on the sidewall.  I'd assume someone probably measured it before it was stamped and stickered, but you know about assumptions. 

Regardless, last time I checked at my local shop they didn’t sell 33.1, 33.2 or 33.5 tires.  They did have quite a selection of 32’s, 33’s and even 34’s.  So we all brought tires to the Masters World Championships with a number of 33 or less written on the sidewall.  No one wanted to risk getting DQ’d for something silly at Worlds.  Personally, I smartly left my 34 Griffo mounted on a carbon Zipp at home and instead brought a 33 Clement PDX mounted on a old Ritchey WCS wheel.  Coincidentally, one tire that was getting flagged by officials as being too fat was the Clement PDX 33 clincher.  You’ll recognize it by the World Champion rainbow stripes on the sidewall.  I brought three to the venue, two on the pit bike and one on a back-up wheel.  I had to scramble.  

Like a cup of flour, there’s air inside a tire.  When you’re baking a cake, do you pank down the flour in the measuring cup to get the maximum amount inside?  Maybe you do, if you want a thicker batter.  Do you leave it slightly heaped or leveled off with the edge of a knife?  Do you use the cup measure made out off stiff stainless steel, or does the OXO brand plastic one your wife bought on her $200 shopping spree at Target do in a pinch?  

Rider: "We Can't Hear Back Here."  UCI Official: "Listen!"

I’m sure a Clement PDX Clincher 33 can in fact measure 33mm wide, maybe less, on a submarine.  It may measure 40mm on the moon or Breckenridge.  While the distance between the two sides of the UCI measuring jig may be an exact 33mm, it is quite possible to fit the device over a tire that measures slightly fatter.  The real problem is that there’s air inside of tires, sometimes inner tubes.  The more stuff inside the tire, the more unyielding it will be.  There's stuff on outside of tires too, like morning dew or peanut butter mud.  On a cold day, rubber can be stiff.   In effect, a pliable tire that passed the test on a rainy warm October afternoon at the Cincy3 Cyclocross Festival may not pass the test on a frozen mud morning in January.  After a few hours of hearing about riders being sent back from the start line with too fat Clement PDX’s, we learned that rim width also played into the equation.  The 33 PDX mounted on a wide rim skinnied up the sidewalls and passed the officials measuring jig test.  Mounted on a skinny rim, the 33 PDX plumped up and measured too fat.  I scrambled to borrow a set of wheels for the pit bike; coincidently pit bikes weren’t being checked.

Now what was originally intended to be an exact measurement of 33mm becomes an opinion.  Riders with flagged tires told me the official said the jig didn’t go on and off the tire smoothly.  It's like the Seinfeld parody of the Simpson trial.  Maybe the official had wimpy biceps, we joked.  You would think either the jig goes on or it doesn’t.  Either it comes off or it doesn’t.  Is the jig stuck to my tire permanently or not?  Should we smear a little Vaseline on the sidewall and try again.  The UCI is measuring millimeters like airports measure bags for the overhead bin.  Believe me, there’s not a bag I own that I can’t stuff into that metal frame.  Now and then, I still have to check it.  Go figure.  It’s the opinion of that bitchy flight attendant, not exact science.

A Nice Addition to Your Toolbox

Obviously I’m in no position to make suggestions such as actually using a device that measures width in actual millimeters, so I won’t do that.  Maybe there’s an App for that.  I will suggest that the UCI come up with a better place to measure tire width than at the start line of the World Championships with 5 minutes till the gun goes off.  It was sad to hear riders with what they thought were 33mm tires have to run back to their team compound (ie: back of their 2001 Honda Civic packed like a Jenga game) in the 5 minute window and risk losing their call up for likely the most important race of their lives.  I will also suggest that we all put a caliper in our toolboxes and practice a little more riding mud on 32mm tires.  I heard Sven Nys once said a 34mm tire makes muddy descents child’s play.  We all can get better.  So can the UCI.  Maybe there could be a tire width checking station where riders could report to at their leisure before their event and get a tire pre-approval sticker.  I’d suggest one with rainbow stripes.

Euro Guide Map to #CXMasters2012 Worlds

If you’re traveling to the Cyclocross Masters World Championships from Europe you may have packed your bathing suit and open toed sandals after seeing that Louisville falls on the same geographic latitude line as Portugal, Spain and Southern Italy.  Sorry to disappoint.  This is no Mediterranean vacation.  The weather recently is more like the UK.  It’s wet, cloudy and a tish chilly.  Belgians however are rejoicing and wearing sandals.  It’s pretty much as sunless, muddy and miserable as the weather back home.  While you’re visiting, feel free to explore our area.  You’ll find, much like countries that accept the Euro, a rich diversity in people and landscapes and probably discover somewhere that feels like home.  Let’s go to the map.

INDIANA

As you can see, Northwestern Indiana is flat, barren and windswept much like The Netherlands.  There are probably more windmills along I-65 between Indianapolis and Chicago as there are along the North Sea.  While just as hypnotic, they are not as romantic.  If you’re looking for romance however, there is a Lions Den Adult Bookstore off the highway if you long for Amsterdam’s Red Light District.  Smack dab in the middle of the state is Superbowlianapolis, which in a few weeks will be overtaken with drunk and bare chested American Football fans much like those at the Cyclocross Elite World Championships in Koksijde.

OHIO

Northeast Ohio for all practical purposes is on the Baltic Sea and is as snow choked and frozen as Siberia.  In Cleveland you’ll see people wearing Russian style fur hats.  To keep warm locals burn old LeBron James Cavalier basketball jerseys.  Columbus, a university town is the cultural epicenter of the region.  It’s much like Austria, if you see Cornhole and Beer-Pong on the same level as artwork and classical music from the masters.  Cincinnati, with rolling hills and a rich history of brewing, is essentially Germany with an Ikea store, history being the operative word. 

KENTUCKY

With the recent wet and cold weather Kentucky is easily divided into two regions: the UK in the North and Redneckia in the South.  Contrary to world beliefs, not everyone in Louisville owns a horse, but like Mercedes in Germany, they know someone who does.  Louisville is currently soggy.  Those from the UK that have a “thing” for Wellies would feel right at home this weekend at the Masters World Championships.  The further south you travel in Kentucky, the larger the hills get and the harder it’ll be to understand what people are saying.  Welcome to Redneckia, the gateway to Countrymusica.  Don’t worry.  Simply heed the “no trespassing” signs.  Other than that, Kentucky is very friendly and known for Southern Hospitality.  However, when the clerk at the petrol station affectionately calls you “Honey,” rest assured she’s just being friendly and isn’t interested in a date.  

Guest Blogger Road Trip: #CCCNYR Chicago CX Cup & #CXnats

It's that time again when I hand over the keys to the blog.  Similar in principal to last years trip to Bend for CX Nationals, Corey Green will be guest blogging for the next 10 days as the run in to Nationals begins with the Chicago UCI races. This year it's a bit different.  Corey has chosen quite a task for himself.  Instead of traveling with two Masters aged micro-brew snobbing fart-joke loving buddies like he did last year with John Petrov and Gregg Shanefelt, this year Corey is traveling with two junior teenagers who may be polar opposites of each other: daughter Mackenzie Green and Justin Bieber...we mean John's son Spencer Petrov.  It's a sit com in the making, "I Love My Teenage Cyclocrosser."


Mackenzie Green - Corey's teenage daughter who loves cyclocross, but chooses to be quiet and reserved. While traveling she will most likely have her nose in a book received on Christmas day, playing a game on her iPhone, or doing what most teenage girls do - texting a couple hundred friends. Kenzie's goal for Chicago and Madison are to simply have great races, continue to build her experience and have fun. You must also realize that Corey is legally against saying anything remotely close to making fun of Kenzie in a blog. It would result in 10 days of teenage looks that all of you remember giving your parents as well as a general lack of forgiveness for embarrassing her.

Spencer Petrov - if anyone has spent any time with Spencer they will realize that his motor never stops. Most times he is reminiscent of that 2 year old toddler that is beyond tired, running frantic around the house getting into anything not glued down and non-stop chattering the whole time. The biggest difference between Spencer and that toddler is that Spencer never hits that wall where he collapses on top of himself, face down in his creamed bananas in his high chair - he just  k e e p s  g o i n g. If you have ever seen Justin Bieber Nyan Cat you sort of understand what I mean...it is like that...

Corey Green - driver and watchdog for the two above, plans are to race at Chicago and Nats and use his middle-aged body the best he can to not get lapped by Pete Webber and Adam Myerson. Cincinnati Master, Peter Hills will be in the same races in Chicago and at Nats and called up about the same time, so comparisons will be made to determine who had the best holiday prep to racing. Otherwise days will be filled with getting kids ready to race, pumping tires, cooking food, calming nerves and pretending that somehow this is a vacation from work.

This Friday the Toyota 4-Runner (official vehicle of TBBBE bloggers) will depart for Chicago, loaded up with 6 bikes, 6 extra wheels, tents, coolers, a case of lycra, left over mud from OVCX (for luck) and all those little things that you always throw in before leaving "just in case". We will return late, late on January 8th, after Nationals, filled with memories of good times had and a wonderful sense of accomplishment. Or we won't talk to each other for 6 months, it could go either way.