Wednesday, June 29, 2011

TDF 2011: It's the Leather Jersey That Matters

Obviously there’s some disagreement as to if Contador should not have attacked and/or waited after Schleck dropped his chain in last year's tour.  Some cried foul.  Others insist there are no gifts in the Tour De France.  There will never be any cut and dry rule.  We could debate the tire-width line between winning and sportsmanship till someone from France wins the tour again, or we could award acts of heroism, respect and coolness in the Tour De France.  With another Schleckador battle looming, for  2011 I propose a new jersey competition to stand atop the podium along with the yellow, green and polka dot.  Introducing: The Leather Jersey, Le Maillot Cuir.

There’s no argument that the world’s coolest person ever in the world is Arthur Henry Fonzarelli, aka The Fonz.  Modeled after Fonzie’s leather jacket from the hit TV show Happy Days, the Leather Jersey would be awarded each day to the points leader in the coolness competition.  Of course it’d be a faux black coolmax leatheresque jersey, pleather if you will.  It’d have an authentic “thumbs up” silk screened on the back and topped off with an extra tall popped-up collar.  The Leather Jersey would be sponsored by Ryders Eyewear and come with a pair of cool Seeker sunglasses.  Fabian Cancellara, a cool guy who remarkably resembles the Fonz the most, would award the jersey each day.  Instead of kissing, the podium girls, dressed like sexy Pinky Tuscaderos, would stand back, give a double thumbs up and say, "AAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

Win a Road ID with TBBBE Details Here
Points would be awarded to riders demonstrating acts of sportsmanship, heroism, respect, kindness and general coolness.  Double points would apply on extreme stages, such as those with Hors category climbs or on days when the weather is bad.

The Cool Points scale could look something like this:
2              Heroically making the time cut but coming in DFL
5              Offering water  food to a racer on another team
7              Helping unpile the bikes after a mass wreck
10           Checking to see if that dude that just rode off the cliff is moving down there
15           Waiting for or not attacking a rival who just suffered a mechanical or a crash

In a multiple jersey winning situation, instead of giving the lesser jersey to the runner up, the Leather Jersey would be worn layered as a cool vintage-style under jersey in conjunction with the green, polka dot or yellow jersey.  In Paris it would be an extra honor, showing the world that it is indeed possible to win with respect, integrity, sportsmanship, heroism, kindness and just being a cool Joe Biker.

(joe biker note: No, you're not seeing double.  This article originally posted on July 21, 2010.  With Le Tour starting this weekend, we thought it was worth a repost.  Love you.  Mean it.)

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