Occasionally I ride with Dude. Dude’s cool and a steady strong heads up rider. Dude is new to town and lives in an adjacent neighborhood. Dude and I aren’t Facebook besties. Dude doesn’t feed my cats when I go on vacation. I don’t know Dude’s full story. Our conversation has never went past paceline pleasantries. I don’t have Dude’s number nor know his address. He doesn’t know mine. We’re like barbell friends, on the opposite ends of the same group ride. I show up when I need a moderately paced civil ride. He shows up when he wants to ride with familiar faces. I’ve been the new dude, dropped between Loveland and Morrow my first year in town and sympathize.
Dude’s hamstrings and quads are big enough to be featured on the sale poster at the cannibal neighborhood deli. Friends on the ride marvel at his beef sticks. Nicknames like Dude-asaurus Rex and Hamhock don’t even come close. The legs of his shorts should be reinforced with Kevlar. After a recent ride, he may consider running a motorcycle chain.
|Save 50% at BioWheels Bike Shop Click Here Hurry Limited Offer|
“Anybody got a chain tool,” someone asked.
|Tonight 6/22 in Cinti Click For Info|
“Dude, you got anyone you can call for a ride?”
Dude’s new to town, living single in the city. We’re his friends. We’re all here. So we did what any good riding buddies would do. We left him.
Well not really. Being at least an hour’s walk from the nearest intersection with a stop light or anything you could remotely call a town, we advised him to sit tight on this tiny road in Nowheresville, KY. In two hours one of us would come back in a car to pick him up.
“Dude. What’s your cell phone number, so we can call and find you when we’re on the way back with the car?”
“I don’t have a cell phone on me.” Dude quickly added, “Who am I gonna call?”
|Win A $35 Road ID Gift Card In Our Flat Joe Biker Pix Contest|
Thankfully, another dude on the ride had enough time in his Sunday schedule to run back out in the car to save Dude’s day. The thing is, and Dude specified before we pedaled off, Dude didn’t want a ride. He asked for either a spare chain or the tools to fix it with. That’s exactly what happened. After sitting in spandex at the side of the rural NKY road for two hours not looking out of place at all, another dude drove back fixed Dude’s chain and Dude rode home.