Monday, January 4, 2010

New Years Spin Bike Ball Drop

There was no confetti, no horns, no cheers and no kisses for the New Years ball drop I witnessed. “F**k,” however, was shouted out quite loudly. Witnessing it, all I could think was, “oh dude, oh, ouch.” He hit the floor. Next thing you know. Shortly grabbed his nutsack and crumpled into the fetal position. New Years brings the newbies to the gym. While I can’t entirely fault the newb for the ball drop, being a newb certainly contributed to the forceful redistribution of the family jewels Sunday at spin class.

It was 8 degrees outside yesterday. Inside the spin room, the thermostat registered a sweaty 90 degrees. Due to the cold and the resolutions, the class was full with a waiting list a few people deep. As the class got underway spinning our heart rates up toward 75%, 2-3 stragglers trickled in. Like gophers popping their heads out of their holes, they strained their necks to locate the 2-3 open spin bikes. Only one bike had the toe straps allowing the rider to spin in running shoes. So, after some do-see-do quiet discussion between the stragglers, each found a bike to match their footwear and mounted up.

Normally before you get on a spin bike, you adjust the seat and handlebars to fit your body and riding style. Normally. Well that’s what you’d do if you’ve been to at least one spin class before. If you haven’t, like jumping on any normal bike, you’d just get on, especially a beefy bike made out of 2x2 inch steel bars and a stainless 40 pound weight for a wheel. Some may even see it like a car and assume that the seat is adjustable in some fashion, but maybe not assume that the steering wheel or, in this case, handlebars are also adjustable. That’s usually a luxury option.

Being late to class, the newb walked up to the bike, caddy corner from me, put his foot on the pedal, grabbed the bars and swung a leg over. The handlebars gave way. They weren't attached, just barely sitting in the top of the tube by about a half inch, not tightened on in any way. The guy, now in slow motion, pretty much spread eagle, came crashing down, with his full weight, nuts on tension adjuster knob and his lower abdomen squarely lanced by the 2x2 steel square hole where the handlebars are attached. “Oh!” I exclaimed as if it were my own nuts. It was hard to look at. With his hands still in a firm grip on the bars, he curled on the floor. ““F**K!” He shouted pushing himself away. The room gasped, shocked. My mouth hung open. Quickly, another gentleman, obviously someone he came to class with, helped him to his feet and out of the room. The instructor followed. He, or his companion, never returned to class. I’m not sure if he was okay or not. I certainly hope he’s only bruised, not broken, and one day comes back to the gym to shrug it off.

UPDATE: I have heard that Big Johnson and the Cashews are doing fine.

1 comment:

Emily Timm said...

Hahaha...Poor guy!

Newbies are always fun to watch. It's a bummer when you have to compete with them for bikes at the beginning of the year, but it's probably worth it to see them grappling for comfort half way through the class!

I do sincerely hope, though, that the first timers stick with it. It's always sad to see someone give up their new years resolution so quickly!