Friday, June 19, 2009

Cincinanti's Dedicated Bike Lane For Beefing Big Balled Bicyclists

Every now and then what is at the root a crime, usually of a lesser degree, is on the surface super freaking funny. Sometime within the last 2-3 weeks the bike lane arrows on Erie Avenue in Cincinnati have been repainted, neither at the hand of any city employee nor at the hand of a very mature person. I, being somewhat immature, found these modern cave drawings incredibly hilarious, especially after a long ride, going up the last hill on my way home with my last sip of water in my bottle. I nearly blew that sip out my nose when I saw this.

I present the road marking which depicts a bike lane that I presume is only for gassy cyclists, a bike lane dedicated to me. How thoughtful. Someone out there knows that I enjoy a healthy diet of legumes, mushrooms and the occasional broccoli. Since both Erie Avenue and Brotherton lead nearly parallel paths up the hill to the neighborhoods of Hyde Park and Oakley respectively and the painting is tagged with a "B", I’ve deducted that maybe someone who lives on Brotherton was offended by a blasting biker or tooting tandem on their street and decided to go all vigilante, repaint the bike lane markings and get the offending athletes to detour up Erie Avenue instead. May I add that looks like one horrendous spider bark. I think the color is dead on. But, that’s not all. Just a few meters up hill from the flatulence artwork is this picture.

Women and lesser men, I am sorry, but it appears that the Hyde Park bound Erie Avenue bike lane is only for farting cyclists with giant cantaloupe sized testicles, beefing bicyclists with big balls. My last sip of water is officially coming out my nose. Bravo to the vigilante. However criminal or offensive the act may be I have found another reason to look forward to the last two miles of my bike rides. Happy Friday, Facebook Friday will return next week.

1 comment:

James Billiter said...

I was riding with Bjet the other and I saw the farting cyclist and lost it. It made my morning.