Due Ore Il Trainer

Deux heures sur le formateur. That’s “two hours on the trainer,” in French according to Google translate. 2 hours on the trainer is a long time, long enough to wonder what “two hours on the trainer” also sounds like in Italian: due ore il trainer. Ooh that’s pretty. Thank you web capable phone. Well that killed 5 minutes. Can’t do that while riding down the street. So went my two hour spin in the garage yesterday. I did intervals, entertainment intervals. It started with15 minutes of IPod and Let’s Make a Deal. After the IPod died, which always seems to happen when extreme boredom arises, I switched to an hour of stage 5 of the 2006 Tour De France on DVD. When I got sick of fast forwarding through the Smiling Bob commercials on OLN, I kept it steady with a 15 minutes of white death Cincinnati snow coverage on the 5 O’clock News followed by 15 minutes of callers complaining about unplowed streets on the radio. Thoughts entered and left my mind. Unable to hang onto any one for any length of time, I started to think what two hours on the trainer actually does for a cyclist: burning 1000-1200 calories, losing some fat, developing a stronger endurance base…blah, blah, blah. As I spun, I surmised two boring hours on the trainer may make you more mentally tough, even tough enough to survive:

The 2nd hour of The Biggest Loser.

A telecast of a PGA golf game without Tiger Woods.

The wait for sunrise during a mountain snowstorm forced bivouac.

A company wide conference call with an uptight CEO that speaks broken English.

The dull straight drive between Gary and Indianapolis, Indiana.

A movie with the chatty chat sisters behind you.

Going to three grocery stores in a row on a warm sunny Saturday afternoon.

The middle seat, without a book, headphones or IPod, on the flight from LA to Hawaii.

The unruly two year old doing jumping jacks in the restaurant booth behind you.

A spin class with a fartus eruptus.

Listening to others bitch about their job that you know nothing about.

C-span.

When a phone call to ask a simple question turns into a marathon conversation.

The last seven entries on The Best Bike Blog Ever.

Facebook Friday: How Do You Prevent Yourself From Smashing The Bikes On Your Car Roofrack Into Your Garage Door

Yakima used to make a device called a “Load Alert.”  It’s an ingenious little device that sticks to your car's hood with a magnet.  It’s a spring loaded sign, that only pops up when your car goes under about 25mph.  Over 25, the presure from the wind holds it flat to the hood.  I have one.  It work great as long as you're not so hungry you pull into McDonalds drive-thru at 30mph.  Unfortantely we have two cars with bike racks. 

Another solution I read was to put your garbage cans in the front of the garage spot when you pull out.  That way you have to stop and move them before you pull in.  Brilliant.  And, if it still fails, you can just toss your rack and bike in the convenietly located garbage cans.

My wife nearly decapitated her Indy Fab this past week.  I saw it all unfold.  From the thrid floor, I heard the garage door open.  Being a good hubby, I started down the stairs to help her out.  As I got to the 2^nd floor, her car was already in the driveway and still rolling forward.  STOP.  STOP!!  I shouted out the open window.  Her windows rolled up and her on the phone, she couldn’t hear.  I broke into a full sprint, leaping down the last flight of stairs shouting, “STAAAAAHHHHHP!!!!”  Then, the crunch.  I opened the front door, expecting total carbon carnage.  Luckily the bike was just short enough and the garage overhang wood just soft enough that the bike barely wedged in.  

The only damage was to the wood of the garage overhang (see above photo of scatches) and the hinge pin of her heart rate monitor strapped to her handlebars.  Fhew.  Bike OK.  (photo left) Nothing ten bucks, a little garage paint and a trip to the watch repair shop wont fix.

Since I didn’t have a whole lot of time to write and research solutions, I posed the question to my Facebook friends.  How Do You Prevent Yourself From Smashing The Bikes On Your Car Roofrack Into Your Garage Door?  Here’s a few comments:

SUSAN 

Some kind of alarm system that smacks you in the face when 5 feet away or something. Had the same error about a week ago with a low-hanging ATM. Bike OK but bike rack pretty (messed) up.  The bike torqued the whole thing.  I was hurrying to do errands and get to a ride.

JADEN

Giant mirror above the garage door like they probably have on the ceilings at the Wild Wood Inn in Florence Y'all! 

SHANNON

Hang a sign from the inside of your garage door. When you press the door opener and the door opens, the sign will be hanging down, reminding you to check the car roof for bikes.

MITCH

Store all of your junk in the garage so you can't pull your car in.