Due Ore Il Trainer

Deux heures sur le formateur. That’s “two hours on the trainer,” in French according to Google translate. 2 hours on the trainer is a long time, long enough to wonder what “two hours on the trainer” also sounds like in Italian: due ore il trainer. Ooh that’s pretty. Thank you web capable phone. Well that killed 5 minutes. Can’t do that while riding down the street. So went my two hour spin in the garage yesterday. I did intervals, entertainment intervals. It started with15 minutes of IPod and Let’s Make a Deal. After the IPod died, which always seems to happen when extreme boredom arises, I switched to an hour of stage 5 of the 2006 Tour De France on DVD. When I got sick of fast forwarding through the Smiling Bob commercials on OLN, I kept it steady with a 15 minutes of white death Cincinnati snow coverage on the 5 O’clock News followed by 15 minutes of callers complaining about unplowed streets on the radio. Thoughts entered and left my mind. Unable to hang onto any one for any length of time, I started to think what two hours on the trainer actually does for a cyclist: burning 1000-1200 calories, losing some fat, developing a stronger endurance base…blah, blah, blah. As I spun, I surmised two boring hours on the trainer may make you more mentally tough, even tough enough to survive:

The 2nd hour of The Biggest Loser.

A telecast of a PGA golf game without Tiger Woods.

The wait for sunrise during a mountain snowstorm forced bivouac.

A company wide conference call with an uptight CEO that speaks broken English.

The dull straight drive between Gary and Indianapolis, Indiana.

A movie with the chatty chat sisters behind you.

Going to three grocery stores in a row on a warm sunny Saturday afternoon.

The middle seat, without a book, headphones or IPod, on the flight from LA to Hawaii.

The unruly two year old doing jumping jacks in the restaurant booth behind you.

A spin class with a fartus eruptus.

Listening to others bitch about their job that you know nothing about.

C-span.

When a phone call to ask a simple question turns into a marathon conversation.

The last seven entries on The Best Bike Blog Ever.