The Best Bike Trades EVER: Skinsuit Edition

I once traded a brand new Cuisinart Coffee Maker for a set of Ultegra brakes.  (click here for story) You think that was sweet?  A few years ago I traded a leather anniversary edition Harley Davidson jacket for a bench-top vice.  (Read: Being The Office Bike Bitch Here) My bearded chrome lovin’ motorcycling co-worker got a jacket for his bitch to hold on to at top speed and I got a vice in the shop to make it easier to swap cassettes.  In these tough economic times, maybe EBay isn’t the best way to get the most bang for your crap.

My recent score revolved around the 3 year old BioWheels team skinsuit in my closet.  A teammate was moving out of state just before cyclocross season.  Within a week, he’d be in a whole new world of CX hurt.  Moving is tough enough.  It’s even tougher being in your 20’s with the income of someone in their 20’s.  You have to make tough choices between racing in a skinsuit and not living in a van down by the river.  So, he asked about my old skinsuit.  I had worn it maybe a handful of times, the team switched designs and it’s been in the closet ever since.  Brand new I think I paid north of $120.  Since my boys had already called the chamois home, despite its great condition, the street value of it is practically nothing.  Practically.

On one of his last days in town, he showed up at my house and picked it up.  We said our man-huggy goodbyes.  “Do ya want anything for it?” He asked.  I thought.  The angel on my left shoulder said, “Well he is a good friend, shake hands and wish him well.”  The devil on my right poked back, “you paid $120 and now you’re giving it away?  You raced against Jeremy Powers in it and won a payout in a UCI race.  If anything, it does have sentimental value.”  I replied back with something like, “I tell ya what.  When you get settled with a new team, sponsors and your job, send me a care package.”  (pictured above left: my buddy in his "new" skinsuit)

It arrived yesterday.

I sliced the box open with a razor blade.  Inside was a sweet pair of black and white herring-bone Panache Cyclewear brand patterned socks, a bottle of Optygen pills and a brand new water bottle.  Perfect, I thought.  I just ran out of my Sport Legs and that’s a tough pill to swallow at $50 a bottle.  To save money at work, management stopped buying paper drinking cups, so the water bottle will come in handy in the office.  And, these are some of the coolest socks I’ve seen in a while.  Herring-bone is the new argyle.  Even though I already have 27 pairs of cycling socks, if I saw these babies at the shop, I’d probably buy ‘em anyway.

Only problem is, looking at the photo of the crisp new socks, now I need some better looking road shoes.   I’ll trade ya.

Women - Electric Dura Ace Finger Nails It

My wife is the girl all the other girls hate (not real hate, more like the spite sprinkled envious kind of girl hate.)  She can grow her fingernails strong and long.  Her old long-fingered cycling gloves have a perfect finger nail sized rip in the tip of the index finger.  She has the finger nail equivalent of Angelina Jolie’s lips.  Just to rub it in, yes, they grow out straight and perfect.  And just to fuel how much she sucks in other girls eyes, she rarely paints her nails so you can see that they are in fact real and spectacular (Jackie Chiles.)  When, however, she does break one, we practically have a mini funeral when her perfect 10, goes to a rag-tag nine. 

For this very reason, she has Campy on her bike.  Even though it does have one shift lever behind the brake lever, the thumb shifter cuts her nail breakage down to 50%.  With the new electronic Dura Ace essentially being two buttons on the outside of the brake lever, shifting is no harder on the nails than operating an easy button.  So, if you’re a woman considering the new electronic Dura Ace, consider that you’ll save a ton of money skipping trips to the manicurist trying to keep up with my wife’s lovely and seemingly perfect all-the-freaking-time finger nails.  That’s a triple snap girlfriend.

As for the nuts and bolts, it shifts so fast Staples is considering using the technology for their new Ultimate Easy Button 7970.  According to the rep at the North American Handmade Bicycle Show, thanks to the battery it’s just 60 grams, a cell phone heavier than the non-electronic version.  It goes 2500-3000 miles on a charge, a quarter to half a season, depending on how shift happy you are and how much you ride your other bikes. There are indicators for battery life and when you only have about 50 shifts left.  The ergonomic hoods feature a nice cutout for your index finger, especially cool if you’re a Landis-like death gripper.  It auto trims the front derailleur when you make shifts on the rear.  If you just heard blabidy blabidy blah, that means it doesn’t make that awful noise when you cross-gear the chain.  The men I saw who tried it at the show were pretty gaga.  The capper is that eDura Ace passed the ultimate test.  Requiring practically no muscle power from girly mini mitts, the best part according to my wife is that the new electronic Dura Ace is long finger nail friendly.  Rejoice.  Ride and be pretty.