Endurance Training for a Flexible Spending Account

I’m completely prepared to give an elephant a bath.  Thanks to cycling, I found that I have mustered the strength and flexibility necessary to tackle just about any mundane task imaginable like washing an elephant or wrestling receipts for the “wonderful” employee benefit of being able to pay for Tylenol with pre-tax dollars from my Flexible Spending Account.  The concept even gives me a headache and coincidently another receipt to file for next year. 

It’s not spinning on the trainer under the buzz of florescent lights in the garage that gives me the real headache in winter.  It’s the once a year chores.  Especially being a more creative personality, anything to do with math or planning might as well be gearing up for a 6 Hour marathon mountain bike race or using a mop as a Q-tip on an elephant ear.  Below is my Honey Do list from last week.  If it weren’t for cycling, I would never have crossed #3 off my list.

Honey Do:

1) Fix the shelf in the closet

2) Consolidate old employer 401(k) plans into one account

3) Submit receipts for the Flexible Spending Account

For me, "submit receipts for the FSA" might as well be wash the elephant.  While it appears soap and water simple, I know that first I’ll need to go to the hardware store and buy a hose, a 10 foot extended spray nozzle, 3 gallons of soap, a mop, an assortment of brushes and a colossal bag of peanuts.  That’s way before I forgot that I’ll need a step ladder, a garbage can for a bucket and a set of waders. 

And while this appears to have nothing to do with cycling, submitting an FSA claim takes every bit of concentration and minute of endurance built of from years of riding bicycles to get through it.  Here’s what “Submit receipts for the FSA” really means:

1) Go through a pile of receipts.  They’re in the file cabinet.  Well, there are some in the basket on the counter.  Oh yeah, there’s one in my car.  Don’t forget about the one in the armoire.

2) Make more coffee.  Turn off the crappy Sunday Morning TV and put on some music.

3) Spread everything out on the dining room table.  See if the items on the receipt meet the requirements of the FSA account.  Go to the pantry and get out the magnifying glass to read the microscopic font on the receipt.  Remember that the FSA company revised the rules and now prescription medications require the name of the drug be written on the receipt.   Drive to the pharmacy and kindly ask them to re-print the receipt with the drug name.  Stop to fill up for gas because you filled the prescription at the pharmacy nearest the doctor’s office which is on the complete opposite side of town.

4) Make lunch at dining room table.  Spill mustard on 3 receipts.

5) After dabbing receipts with paper towel, translate each acceptable item from each receipt to a line on the form.  You did print out the form from your employer’s website didn’t you?  “The laptops in the office honey!”  You do remember the user name and password for the website that you visit once a year?  You do know the answers to the security questions in case you can’t remember your password?  You still have the email account that you used to originally set up the account?  Plug in the computer because batteries are running low.  Dig user name and password out of benefits folder in file cabinet.

6) Turn on the dining room table light.  Translate each acceptable item from each receipt to a line on the form. 

7) Photocopy everything while watching the nightly news.

8) Go to the store to buy more ink cartridges for the office printer.

9) Copy the last page and sign the form.

10) Put it in an envelope and mail it.  Dammit!  Go to the post office for envelopes and stamps over lunch at work on Monday.

Suddenly a century, a stage race or the Mohican MTB 100 doesn’t seem so hard.

Snowicane: Winter Bike Repairs

Over the past few winters, I’ve discovered there’s always a few snowicane days where the degree of winter nastiness overrides my motivation to go outside over even stay inside and do something active.  I reserve certain bike related repair and maintenance projects, listed below, for those days.  There are a few hard core riders I know that have the clothes and equipment to ride or run in even a Hors Category Snowicane.  For the rest of us there’s some combination of cold, wet, and snow that steals our motivation to even exercise indoors.  These are the days where we shrug our shoulders and gaze out the window remembering when the trees across the street were blooming and we rolled out of the driveway bare handed.  Today, I find it hard to picture a day when my short fingered gloves were hanging from the drying rack and I had no idea where in the hell my shoe covers were.  It’s mindboggling fuzzy.  We’ve had too many snowicane days over the past week.  Last night, after getting let out of work early, I stood and gazed out the window as the thick snow rushed sideways under the streetlight.  No thoughts of wedding ring sunburns came to mind.  Instead, I remembered what snowicane days like this are for.  I headed downstairs to the Best Bike Man Cave Workshop and got crackin’ on some winter bike repairs.  Based on the category of snowicane, here’s what I do.

They Let Us Out Of Work Early

Patch Inner Tubes

Reorganize and clean up workshop

Check air pressure on suspension & tires

Pull out, clean and relube seat tube

Clean and lube drive train while it’s on the bike

Check and adjust wheel bearings

Check tires for wear and inflate to proper pressure

Snow Emergency

Put new sealant in tubeless tires

Pull apart and clean and lube rear derailleur pulleys

Take off, clean and lube cassette

True Wheels

Take the good stuff off your cross bike and put it back on your road/mtn bike

Check for chain stretch and replace if necessary

Put on new bar tape (with patience, care, karma and style) 

The National Guard Should Be Here Anytime

Pull out, clean, check, and lube bottom bracket and headset

Remove, clean & lube bolts on brakes, saddle, derailleur’s, seat post clamp, and stem

Replace oil and fluid in hydraulic brakes and suspension

Check and replace slow performing cables & housing

Dear St. Nick

Just a few of the items on my Christmas list:

A Dog in a Hat: An American Bike Racer's Story of Mud, Drugs, Blood, Betrayal, and Beauty in Belgium

Dead Lucky: Life After Death on Mount Everest

Bell Volt Helmet

Giro Semi Glasses

Mont-Bell U.L.Down Inner Jacket

The Best Bike Shops Ever...to stir emotion

From Key West to Kaanapali, I’ve been lucky to ride raging roads and trick trails. Along the way, I’ve been to a few bike shops…okay quite a few. On vacation, I frequent bike shops like an old lady visits candle shops. Out off all these bike shops, only a select few strike an emotional chord with me. It’s tough to describe, but when I think of A Racers Edge (now Colorado Freeride) in Breckenridge I can almost hear the shop dog panting as I throw a stick into the parking lot bushes and he dutifully retrieves it for the umteenth time. There are some places I’ve been to where I haven’t felt an affinity for a shop, Park City Utah for example. I could stare off into space and recall the vistas from the Mid Mountain trail for hours, but none of the shops there stir my emotions. There are unique places like Poison Spider in Moab that are unbelievable cool shops and have been listed as a best bike shops, but not for me. Maybe I didn’t spend enough time there to get “the feeling.” On the other side of the handlebar, there are shops on this list that aren’t in anyone’s top ten cycling vacation locations, like The Pony Shop in the northern suburbs of Chicago. That’s where my wife bought her first boutique mountain bike, a Breezer Thunder.

I really didn’t have any criteria when this article came to mind. I literally scribbled out this list in less two minutes on a Post-It-Note. It was not agonizing in the least, all top of mind. More often than not, it had nothing to do with brands, funky logos, cool names, bike types, prices or selection, even though I purchased something at every one of them. For some, the reason they are on my list is due to their incredibly personal enthusiastic warm friendly and genuine customer service. That goes a long way with me. I bet if I walked back into Bike Barn in Phoenix, Mary the manager would remember us. Atmosphere seemed to be a close second. Even if you’re not a cyclist, just sitting on the porch at Colorado Freeride in Breckenridge after a ride along the Ten Mile Range’s Peaks trail would be a leave a long lasting almost mystic memory, like a golfer in the Augusta clubhouse looking out at the 18th green after a great round. For lack of a better term, an edge of uniqueness nostalgia and/or history seemed to take third. Durango Cyclery has all three.

Wiliamson Bicycle Works: Madison WI
With a sign like that you think it was a bar. It is Madison, Wisconsin after all, home of the Badgers, where I first dated my wife. Named after Williamson Street, Willy Street defines downtown Madison and, like an isthmus in itself, divides the city from lake Monona. Just a long block or two away from the West Washington location, on Saturdays there’s a farmers market around the state capitol square with the capitol building as a majestic centerpiece. This shop is a destination. It’s right off the lakefront bike path and has a beautiful view from the back lot, even in winter when the lake is frozen over and speckled with ice fishing shanties. It’s boutiquey, lodgey, warehouse-ish. I can’t quite put my finger on it. There’s something artistic about the multiple levels and old world Wisconsin hand crafted wood interior that just feels good, like a bike humidor. Lean your bike against the building, crack open a Coke and a Snickers and enjoy a Wisconsin summer day on the lake.

Durango Cyclery Durango, CO
When I first visited Durango, we stayed with former mechanic Greg Jadrych. I think he works for a survey company now. We became friends after buying a Breezer Thunder from him when he worked at The Pony Shop outside of Chicago. He acted on his cycling dream and moved to Durango. We still exchange Christmas cards. While Greg turned us on to the shop, it wasn’t only his hospitality and generosity that leaves a warm spot in my heart for Durango Cyclery. Look at the photo, just like Colorado Freeride in Breckenridge, you wonder what or who resided there before being a bike shop. Another part of it was their bumper sticker that read “Friends Don’t Let Friends Ride Junk.” It’s been well over ten years since I’ve been there. I don’t remember any memorabilia on the walls, but you could just feel the presence of the talent that has walked through the door race-day morning. Lastly, it’s in Durango. You know what’s wrong with mountain biking in Durango? Not a G-D thing! To this day, I can vividly remember a fireroad descent Greg and I raced down in the mid 90’s. At the bottom, Greg and I spit on our rims. It sizzled with the heat built up from the hairy downhill. Yeah, rim brakes. Later that day, I’d discover that the braking surface had actually worn thin and cracked under braking heat. I was only days into a 3 week trip which would take us through Moab and wrap up with the Chequamegon Fat Tire Festival back in Wisconsin. Greg opened up the shop after-hours and sold me a new wheel for the rest of the trip. I still have the hub from that fried wheel. All those memories rest on the dusty rafters at Durango Cyclery.

Bike Barn Phoenix, AZ
Mary, the shop manager pictured left, is an angel. Maybe it’s because she, like myself, is originally from Wisconsin that I will always remember her. She is by far the best bike shop manager/employee ever. I’m not kidding. If you own a shop, work at one or aspire to, it’d be worth the plane ticket to Phoenix to visit her and take notes. To steal a line from Mad TV, she takes customer service to a “ho-nutha-level.” I’ve only met the woman once. She oozes enthusiasm, kindness and generosity. After being completely turned off by a complete a-hole running an office park outfitter operation on the northwest side of town, I set out to find another shop. Sorry. Vacation time is too short to deal with a-holes. Bike Barn is kind of in the hood of Phoenix. The building looks like a little red barn, albeit urban. It’s worth the extra few stoplights and traffic jams to seek it out. In my search for a shop to rent from, I popped in a great little triathlon shop a few miles away from Bike Barn. Since they didn’t rent mountain bikes, the clerk knew right away to call Mary. Thinking ahead, Mary asked the guy at the Tri shop for our sizes over the phone. When we got to Bike Barn, maybe 20 minutes later, our bikes were all set up except for the pedals. That’s trust. That’s how you make customers for life, before you’ve ever even met them. Her level of energy and interest in her customers still confounds me.

The Pony Shop Evanston IL
I’ve probably only heard the bell on the door of the Pony Shop ring a handful of times when we lived in the northern suburbs of Chicago, near Northwestern University. Up until this point, I’d owned exactly two heavy-ass mountain bikes, a yellow splash painted Trek 830 and a used Proflex 853 with a Girvin flexstem. I distinctively remember oogling an Independent Fabrications in the window of a shop in Highland Park, but it would be another ten years til I would own one. The Pony Shop is where my wife bought her first boutique bike, a blue and white Breezer Thunder with XT and no suspension. It cost over $1200, still a lot now, a fortune then. Greg (mentioned above in the Durango Cyclery segment), was the person we bought it from. One day when we brought it back in for service to fix noisy brakes, Greg gave us a tool he had created. It was a spoke. One end was bent into a “U-shaped” handle. The other was sharpened and tweaked at a 90 degree angle. It was a brilliant tool to clean the tiny rocks and rim debris out of the brake pads. It’s still in my tool box and I recently used it on my cyclocross canti’s. Like the Breezer, and my fond memories of the Pony Shop, I will keep that freaky homemade tool forever.

BioWheels Asheville, NC
Nothing against the Cincinnati BioWheels which I race for, BioWheels-Asheville feels like home base whenever we travel to Pisgah, ride the Blue Ridge Parkway or venture into Brevard and the trails at Dupont. Their first shop resided at an old service station complete with the bay holes in the floor where car mechanics used to change oil. To have a bike shop there, it was almost a bizarre way of recycling or flipping the bird to the automobile. Recently, owner Matt Johnson, acted on his quirky dream of recycling, decided to move the shop and renovate a delapatated downtown Asheville building into a green bike shop. Solar panels, recycled materials, the works went into the new shop. It’s beautiful and would make Al Gore proud. Green and healthy, the name BioWheels just fits. And BioWheels fits perfectly into the grassroots (dare I say hippy dippy?) nature of Asheville. There’s that feeling again. One fourth of July, after an afternoon ride at Bent Creek we returned to the shop, climbed up a ladder, and sat on the roof to watch the fireworks. When was the last time you did that at a bike shop?

A Racers Edge Breckenridge, CO
When I sought out a photo online, I realized that “A Racer’s Edge” in Breckenridge must have changed hands or names to Colorado Freeride. I might have to return. But, from the looks of the picture, the buildings and the parking lot are pretty much the same. It’s made up of what seems like three or four buildings put together over the history of the town. I wonder if the shop dog is still there? That thing would chase sticks forever. While the service, employees and merchandise at the shop were good, the business itself isn’t why I feel an affinity for this place. It’s something about that dog, changing in the gravel parking lot, the annual end-of-summer tent sale, the downtown location and the fact that nearly every ride I did from that shop ends with a seemingly eternal downhill. After a ride up Bankers Tank, I distinctly remember taking off my helmet, resting my rental against the building, sitting on that little porch and gazing at the mountains that encircle the town while sipping a dusty water bottle.