To: (Boss’ name) a.k.a. Worlds Most Greatest Boss in the World
Fr: (Your Name/Title)/CX3 Bike Racer
Re: Mental Health Day Friday 11/4
If you don’t count the half day I had to take after the group got food poisoning from (local hole in the wall restaurant your fat co-workers love), I have not been sick since I started working here at (company). In fact due to my high level of fitness and health achieved by being a Category (CX license category) Elite Cyclocross Racer, I have not been sick since 19 (double digit year.)
As you can verify on (HR Website), I have accrued (use actual number) sick hours which if used successively would allow me to retire this coming (day of week). However, due to my undying dedication to (name of company) and love of (type of work you do), I very much want to continue creating (product of company) for as long as I can. And, unlike (name of coworker that you’re certain abuses sick time), I won’t use my sick days whenever my cat coughs up a fur ball and instead use them if and only if there should ever come a day when I’m actually sick.
Thanks to cycling, my fitness and health has allowed me to have a relatively perfect attendance record outside vacation and holidays. While others less healthy than I have fallen to colds and that weird (make up disease name) that (name of co-worker) got, I have been your trusty side kick, able-bodied and minded to pick up the slack through thick and thin. In addition, my dedication to bike racing has given me a sharpened focus to stay strong in the face of increased competition from (name of big competitor) and, like climbing the step of the awards podium, helped to increase our (insert your companies unrealistic goal here: such as sales, share, profit) incrementally.
I understand its last minute, but due to my work on (a big project) this is my first opportunity to take time from my (type of work you do) work and ask you for permission to take what I’d like to call “mental health day” to participate in a professional international bike race on Friday. I have already consulted with (co-workers you can actually depend on to pick up your slack) and they said they can cover for me in my absence. I have also worked ahead and completed (task that would’ve been due Friday or Monday) and delegated (another task) to (trustworthy co-worker.) Let me know if this okay and I’ll put in the proper paperwork with (name of HR person.)