In a press release today, FRI KFC, Female Racers Integrated to beat Katie Fucking Compton rejoiced saying, “every other woman in the world just got an extra fucking point next weekend.” With her weekend wreck in Boulder (click here for news), Katie Fucking Compton will likely take 2 to three weeks to recover and not race again till the USGP in Ft. Collins Colorado the weekend of November 13th and 14th.
According to a poll of organizers of this weekend’s upcoming races, lap times in the women’s pro race should go from 7 minutes and 30 seconds to nearly 8 fucking minutes. “Riders who used to get lapped by KFC will now have a fucking chance of finishing on the lead fucking lap for once in their fucking lives,” FRI KFC’s snarky Spokeswoman, Colonel Sandy, said on her twitter account in just under the 140 character limit. For the more caddy ladies on the CX grid, that’s finger fucking licking good news. The press release went on to say, “in addition, women who finished on the tail end of the payout scale will now likely get $20 instead of $10, which coincidentally is enough money to buy a consoling bucket of KFC, two sides, and a slice of Chocolate Chip Cake.”
Seriously Katie…get well soon. We know you’re a sweetie and we’ll miss you out there.