Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It’s Not a Poseur Mobile, It’s the Bike Meant for Floyd Landis

The Best Bike Blog Ever Breaking News at Nine!  Joe Biker is…uh…could be…allegedly…riding a bike meant for pro Floyd Landis.  The evidence, slightly less foggy than an Ohio River morning, proves, but not beyond a reasonable doubt, that Joe Biker is not a pedaling poseur by riding a United Health Care Pro Cycling Team branded 2010 Kuota KOM, but instead is riding a freak bit of pro cycling memorabilia. 

Coincidence?  WE THINK NOT!  The facts tell the whole story…well, more or less.  ;)

FACT:  May 2008, The Best Bike Blog Ever meets Floyd Landis at the Mohican 100 MTB race in Ohio.  While enjoying some Magic Hat ales at the BioWheels team cabin the evening before the race, a picture was taken proving that Floyd and I are roughly the same height.  No doubt we ride the same size frame, 55cm. 

FACT:  November 17th 2009 Floyd Landis and Ouch Pro Cycling part ways.  This is first clue that Floyd may not be riding a Kuota in 2010.

FACT:  November 17th, the very same day, with Christmas around the corner and my wife feeling very generous with gifts this year, I inquire via email about purchasing a new Kuota KOM from BioWheels bike shop in Madeira, my team sponsor.

FACT:  November 20th, only 3 days after the announcement that Floyd will not continue riding with Ouch, I get notice that BioWheels is “working” on a special deal for a 55cm Kuota KOM. 

FACT:  Amateur bike racers love the special deal and fantasizing about the prospects of saving loads of money especially on a carbon fiber rocket ship like the Kuota KOM. 

FACTDecember 18th, while my deal is “working,” United Healthcare (formerly Ouch) announces its team roster, officially minus one Floyd Landis.  Proof that Floyd Landis remains a free agent without a contract for 2010.  Could his agent still be in talks with United Heathcare?  Possibly.  Could this be about the same time Kuota starts to put official team logos and clear coat it’s bikes?  Possibly.  Could they have been told to logo one up for Floyd, just in case?  It’s possible!  Sure, it is!

FACT:  A new road bike is pretty much useless on Christmas Day and no one does anything road bike related between Christmas and Valentine’s Day.  While still waiting on news of the “working” deal, I don’t worry too much about having the bike by Christmas and waste countless hours on the internet deciding which (of the three) KOM’s on the website to go with and like all bike geeks endlessly compare side-by-side photos of Easton and DT Swiss wheels with the photos of the frame that I found on the United Healthcare Pro Cycling Team website.  Floyd is also most likely waiting on news of his “working” deal.

FACT:  March 9th 2010, The Bahati Foundation Cycling Team announces the addition of Floyd Landis to its roster officially putting to rest any rumors that Floyd would return to Ouch, now United Health Care.

FACT:  March 11th, only two days after the news of Floyd’s signing with Bahati, I receive mixed news that a 55cm stock Kuota frame is NOT available!  I’m shocked.  However, in the next breath I’m informed there is an “extra” 55cm United Heath Care Pro Team logo bike available at Kuota North American Headquarters in Canada.  Reeeaaaaly?  Hmm.  With the local road scene about to get underway, and looking at how nice the team sponsor logos were done, I say, “Heck ya!  I’ll take it!”  Especially to save a few bucks.

FACT:  March 17th, I take possession of the 2010 55cm United Heath Care Pro Cycling Team Kuota KOM.  I realize that the facts don’t lie.  Behold!  I am not riding a poseur-mobile.  Instead, I own pro cycling memorabilia, the very bike meant for Floyd Landis, had he stayed with United Heathcare.  That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.  

3 comments:

bwr said...

Makes perfect sense to me.

Joe Biker said...

Thanks JS. Arshard, you're a spamming dork.

Christopher Averett said...

Sounds good to me.