Showing posts with label loudenville. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loudenville. Show all posts

Monday, June 6, 2011

There Must Be 50 Ways to Lose Mohican

On The Mohican 100k Start Line Courtesy Jen & Mark Farmer
You can have your frame crack, Jack…have your stem hammer your boys, Roy…get bit by a bee, Lee…are you listening to me?  Nearly 48 hours have passed since my stellar Mohican 100k turned into what can best be described by internet videos of would-be marathon winners hilariously crumpling and falling to the ground at mile 18.  I’ve bonked, crashed, mechanicaled, overheated, even had my foot caught in a teammate spokes while we were still moving.  This was the first time I’ve ever met pure fatigue and exhaustion.  At the moment of submission, I apologized to a teammate’s wife for not wearing any clothes.

Wearing only shorts and socks, I could barely lift my bike on the hitch rack.  Nicole was a sweetheart, considering this was only our 2nd meeting and here I am shirtless and spaced out in the front seat of their Subaru.  An hour earlier, I was on pace to a sub 6 hour Mohican 100k flirting with 15-18th place.  It was to be my best Mohican ever, my 4th in a row.  I can hear you now, “Quit being a baby.  I was out there for (enter any double digit number under 14 here) hours.”  At prior races, I’ve wondered why some racers would throw in the towel at 11:30am.  Stuck up baby pro’s can’t even finish their race if they can’t get a good time.  As long as I got in before dark, I could still finish.  I hadn’t told officials I had DNF’d.  At the cabin, trying to get my wits and emotions back together with a phone call to my wife, it crossed my mind to get a ride back out to checkpoint 3 and finish the course for my own dignity.  I even threw a leg over the bike.  Nuh uh.  Mohican isn’t about finishing at all costs any more.  After I hung up the phone, I smiled and walked to the finish to turn in my number.  She’s awesome.

Mohican #3 Chain-Suck
I’M NO QUITTER 
My first Mohican, I melted in mid 90’s heat and humidity for 8 ½ hours over the 100k course.  I blew my radiator cap, suffered for 5 miles, took off my shirt and shoes, topped off with coolant, rode another 5 miles and spectacularly blew again and again and again till I crossed the finish line in 8 ½ hours.  It was like a legless dog dragging its way home on its front paws.  The next year, better prepared for doom, I shined, finishing 18th in the open class with a time of 6 hours and 8 minutes!  The third year, last year, I wanted to best myself and went into the race in incredible shape.  With a great start, I rode clean, slipping and sliding through the wet roots and mossy rocks of the singletrack.  On a mud choked course, back pedaling to un-due the chain suck for the 10th time, I twisted an 8 inch section of my chain at a 45 degree angle.  It completely disabled my drivetrain and sawed my Niner’s scandium chainstay nearly in half before I even got to the covered bridge.  Game over.  Drenched to the bone, I limped back to the cabin 10 miles with my bike skipping up and down through the gears with every pedal stroke.

Mohican now is no longer about poetically overcoming obstacles.  You want to talk about determination?  I’ve been trying to drag my carcass across that finish line in under 6:08 for two years now.  I trained to ride hard, ride long and not whither with back pain and overcome adverse weather conditions.  I changed my race day diet and purchased a new frame and drivetrain.  I’m no quitter.  

Coming Into Check Point 1 Courtesy Jen & Mark Farmer
FAST FELT EASY
This year I towed the front of the start line in my best shape ever.  I crested the top of the road climb close enough to say I was in the mix for the $100 KOM prime.  My heart rate monitor, set at 100% for my lactate threshold, floated between 96 and 103 as I graced the top 20.  I flowed.  I felt recovery at 96, steady climbing at 103. Forward progress, I drank and ate at the right moments, well aware that I should drink a bottle and consume the right amount of calories each hour.  I was making calm sense of the chaos of racing fast.  I lead the train.  No one asked to pass.  At my nemesis, the climb after the covered bridge, I kept it steady all the way to the top.  In my first two Mohican’s I suffered here, going backwards.  It was always my first “bad patch” of the race.  I had prepared for this with 10 weeks of threshold hill repeats and changing my race day breakfast.  I was elated.  In and out of the first check point in maybe 45 seconds with two fresh bottles and some oranges, the mile markers ticked by, 18, 21.  I never felt so good riding so hard for so long.  The hike a bike in the single track felt 200 yards shorter than previous years.  I pacelined through the fragrant pine needle fireroads leading to the horse trail descent.  It was beautiful.  Fast felt easy.

Maybe it was the first sign of my demise, but on a long climb leading up to the 2nd checkpoint I lost contact with the riders I was with.  I still felt okay, got my 5th and 6th bottles, a swig of a Redbull and was in and out of the 2nd check just as quick as the first.  Descending though some brush-hog cut “trail”, I hit what I call the trailer park road and felt home free.  My computer read 36 miles or so.  I was 3 hours and 40 minutes into the race.  My heart rate remained just below my LT and I kept motoring.  I did math in my head.  With 20 miles of road and maybe 5 of singletrack, I was well on pace to a sub 6 hour Mohican.  8-10 miles of gravel and paved road would lead to 2 miles of technical singletrack and check point 3 at the 50 mile mark.  Then I started losing power.

ALONE AND STRANDED
It started with a hitch in my left hip flexor.  A hotspot flared on the outside of my left foot.  My HRM number dropped to the low 80’s my speed to 12mph on a relatively flat paved section.  My body dialed itself back to the endurance zone.  This was my 4th Mohican.  I call them “bad patches.”  You give yourself 20 minutes, chill out, ride within yourself and they pass.  I grabbed the wheel of and traded pulls with a Texas Roadhouse jersey.  I thought, in the next 30 minutes I’d refuel at the 50 mile rest stop.  After that, only one real obstacle remained, a long steep fire road climb.  I lost his wheel and then mine.

I started to feel far away.  My clock read 4:25.  Chubbier people and bigger bikes began to pass.  My arms ached.  I felt too hot.  Rolling climbs became granny gear walls.  My open jersey flapped at my sides.  My spin turned to a churn.  My stomach twisted.  I told myself, “Joe, get your shit together, the rock garden singletrack is coming up.”  Breathe.  I gathered enough wits to clean the rock garden, but parked it next to a barn.  I stripped off my shirt, helmet and gloves and sat down.  It’s just a bad patch.  You can do it. 

I felt light headed, not quite dizzy.  Cleanly through the singletrack, I crawled a half mile through the cornfield.  8mph.  6mph.  I felt embarrassed rolling in to the check.  I didn’t want anyone to see me, now shirtless, gloveless, helmetless, glassy-eyed with wet paper towels draped on my head and back.  I drank 2, 3, 4 cups of water.  I downed a Gu and an orange.  Like a vampire, I couldn’t handle being in the sun long enough to even attempt to fill my bottles.  At that moment, the 15 or so miles to the finish became insurmountable.  If I could only shake one of my issues I could ride, but my stomach remained a fist, my muscles drained, my foot burned, my hip throbbed and radiator cap still hissed.  Complicating the situation, it was still a 45 minute road ride home even if I were to DNF.  If I quit I had to still walk a 10 mile plank.  I felt alone, stranded.  Looking like a horror movie victim knocking on a neighbor’s door for help, my teammate’s wife offered a ride home. 

My Best Mohican Finish Ever
SIMMER DOWN
Having showered and changed in the cabin, my head hung and I welled up when I picked up my phone to call my wife.  A teammate came in and I distanced myself from the box of tissues.  I’m sure Brian put Kleenex and me together.  I walked outside to dial.  No one wants to hear you complain, let alone cry about your bad race.  I wanted to feel her arms wrap around me and her words make me strong again.  We talked for a long time about her Dad, her dinner with some girlfriends, and things that have nothing to do with bikes.  I laughed and smiled.  She’s beautiful.

She reminded me that I rode 3 hours and 40 minutes at my absolute physical limit, an impressive feat for any other race, road, mountain bike or whatever.  My training did pay off.  I rode all that singletrack incredibly clean and efficient.  I’ll never forget how wonderful those 36 miles felt.  I tamed the demons from previous races, only my good fitness opened the door to an unknown factor, complete fatigue.  My only mistake, a miscalculation on the race recipe.  I went out too hard too early, averaging nearly 98 percent of my lactate threshold for three hours and forty minutes.  When I only needed to cook at 400 degres for 6 hours, I set the oven at 475 and periodically checked for doneness.  Afterward at dinner a friend offered some great advice.  Ride within yourself, not out of your mind.


Hit play and enjoy the encore.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Rest Is Ridiculous: The Week B4 Mohican 100

I don’t bother lubing my chain or pumping tires, even though I’m headed to a race.  I might pour a beer in my water bottle and bungee the cooler bag to the rear rack.  I’ll probably wear cargo shorts and stuff a bag of chips in the pocket.  I won’t even bother pinning a number.  I’ll find a nice spot in the grass, preferably next to a friend with a dog, sit my butt down and try to remember its name.   For some reason I’m bad at remembering the names of my friends pets.  Tonight I’ll have a conversation with cycling friends that consists of more than shouting “hole” and “gravel” between deep breaths and beeping heart rate monitors.  Tonight’s one of my favorite bike race nights of the year.  It’s the Ault Park Criterium before I race Mohican on Saturday.  Tonight I get to ring the cowbell and shout “C’mon” to my teammates.  I should be excited, but resting before a big race weaves my worrisome thoughts into a stress basket.

It’s the opposite of ADD.  I get this way when something big is on the horizon.  It’s an intense focus.  It’s the reason I cried at my own wedding and get the nervous gags before big races.  I don’t like it, but it’s the way I am, man on a mission.  I don’t think I’ve blogged in two weeks, since our vacation to Sedona, which I haven’t written a word about.  I’m nervous about the Mohican 100, so much so that I’ve put the blinders on.  The grass is cut, the bike clean.  The seat bag is even packed.  All that’s left is to clean the house and pack the duffel.  It’s so ridiculous that I wonder if I should put my helmet and shoes in the bag tonight so I don’t forget.  Oh yeah, sunscreen.  I’m starting to have a hard time falling asleep, which is precisely the reason I need to chill out.  Recovery weeks shouldn’t have a stress level.

To many times, as athletic types, we get too wrapped up in competition, watt-o-meters, and why this stupid scale won’t register a number below 159.  For me, nothing sucks the fun out of bike riding than turning it into a spreadsheet and graphs.  Runners talk about pace.  Cyclists gush over watts.  I see the value in it, however there’s also value in the view at the Ault Park Overlook.  There’s a reason I cherish the photos of riding with friends more than the plastic trophies and medals in the man-cave.  Sure I like to win races, but my favorite moments at bike races revolve around beef jerky, whiskey in a flask and lots of cowbell.  I look forward to those moments just as much as the big “A” race circled on my training calendar.  Coincidentally, they happen together. 

My Best Mohican Ever 18th Place
There comes a time in every training program when there’s nothing you can do to get any faster than to sit your butt down and enjoy the sport from the other side of the caution tape.  With the Mohican 100 on Saturday, tonight’s my night.  It’s good to be a spectator.  It’s better to be a spectator with a cowbell, beer and bag of chips.  It reminds me of why I got into bikes in the first place.  It’s fun.  It’s beautiful.  It’s a spectacle.  It’s good times with friends.  It’s better than watching Snookie get in a car wreck with an Italian police car…or at least pretty close. 

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the numbers and schedules.  Try this once.  On your next Zone 1 easy ride or recovery day neighborhood walk, head to the bleachers of the baseball diamond at your neighborhood park and watch the game.  Yeah.  Instead of taking a “rest” day, go watch total strangers play ball.  Whether its kid’s soccer or the local bar softball league, you’ll find a reason to cheer.  Grab the fishing rod out of the rafters, walk to the Little Miami River and cast till the sun sets.  When was the last time you sat on a park bench?  Believe me, it is an activity.

A few weeks ago I filled a travel mug with coffee, grabbed the cowbell and walked from my house to cheer on the runners in Cincinnati’s Flying Pig Marathon.  Training for the Mohican 100, I did a long ride the day before.  My day was wide open, what might appear as a “rest” day in your training program.  I was out there on Riverside Drive for two hours.  Instead of a drive-by wave, I actually had a conversation with my neighbor Reggie.  I met some nice people that are turning an old boat repair shop into a Pilates studio.  It got me to thinking how ridiculous it is to write the word “rest” on a calendar.  

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

TOOLS R4 FOOLS: What Slogan is on Your Mohican 100 Jersey?

I could’ve ridden the last two Mohican 100 races without any tool, tubes or air.  Coulda…woulda…shoulda.  Besides helping a teammate with a broken chain, I personally didn’t need to bring an extra 800 pound boat anchor chain pin.  Does that mean I should leave the tools at the cabin and save the weight this year?  Yep.  If I were a complete dufus.  Contrary to what you may think, I am not a complete dufus, only a bike crazed dufus with devil horns.  My rule for Mohican is that the weight of the tools I carry should not weigh more than the poop I take the morning before the race.  So, I am strapping an entire steel IF 29er frameset to a 100oz Camelback this year.  

Really, I am bringing the same fix-it supplies to Mohican this year as I brought last year, albeit with one change.  Instead of a 2nd 40oz CO2 air can, I’m bringing a small pump that’s about equal weight.  (bike packed as pictured above) I figure if I get a 2nd flat, my goal will be too far gone at that point and I’ll be just hoping for a decent finish.  I know I’m not the only racer comparing the weights of air cartridges and pumps and the benefits of each.  We all consider the problem probabilities.  The most common mechanical you’ll likely encounter is a flat tire.  The 2nd most common is a broken chain.  The third would be some kind of readjustment to your equipment, like tweaking your handlebars after a mishap.  The 4th would be some sort of catastrophic failure of a major component like your derailleur hanger or left leg.   So is it one tube or two?  Two air cartridges or one and a pump?  I personally know a guy who brings a replacement rear derailleur, simply because he’s an idiot, I mean, determined to finish.  Before you even consider what to pack you need to ask yourself one question:

Which slogan would you have embroidered on the back of your Mohican jersey?
 “Tools R4 Fools”  
“Cooking Up an Excuse”
“Gimmie My Pint”
“Don’t Worry, I Packed a Light”

TOOLS R4 FOOLS
You’re going to finish in the top “x” or bust.  You agree with the statement: “I’m completely prepared to DNF if things don’t go my way.”  You say “foo” instead of “fool.”  Many pro’s race this way.  Less talk that way.  Maybe the entry fee didn’t come out of your pocket.  Maybe you nabbed close to a top ten last year (cough Marty) and your buddies (cough me) think you have a real shot at a podium this year.  It’s up to you, but considering that a flat is the most common issue riders have you might want to carry 1 lightweight air cartridge/chuck so that in the event of a flat you might be able to shoot in enough air and hope the tire sealant can help you hold your position to the finish.  The really good riders can do this without getting off their bike.  Sometimes just waving the CO2 can above your head and threatening the tire can convince it to seal.  Lance tried this unsuccessfully at Leadville.  You might one-up him and actually figure out how to inflate a tire with CO2 before the race.  Regardless, the 4-5 minutes it might take to drop in a tube would put you so far behind your goal that it wouldn’t be worth finishing.  In this case, your best option is to flag a ride back to the venue, toss your gear in your car and discreetly leave before the first rider crosses the finish line.  Many pros do this.  You don’t need a computer because you plan on being within sight of the leaders.
Tools: 1 lightweight air chuck and 40oz CO2 can…maybe

“COOKING UP AN EXCUSE”
Most of my teammates are in this boat.  We have our goals, but we’re hardly good enough to tango for a podium spot against the pros at Mohican.  We’re hoping to come close, to have our name a few spots below a big name on the leader board or at least near where it was last year.  Actually the object is to take a picture of the leaderboard and have your name and the name of someone remotely famous in the same frame.  If not, we’ll do our best to finish and cook up a good story for the campfire afterward.  Unlike the pros, not finishing means you’d have to face the heckling at the after party since you carpooled up to the venue with these A-holes in the first place.  So we’ll carry enough stuff to fix the most common mechanicals without it weighing more than the result of the daily morning ritual. 
Tools from above plus:
2nd air cartridge or 1 tiny ass pump of equal weight to air cartridge (cuz you handle air cartridges like Lance Armstrong thereby giving you another chance at saving face with you’re A-hole buddies)
1 tube (it’s insurance against your entry fee)
1 Tiny ass chain tool with the few most common Allen keys to avoid bad juju
2 Shimano Spare Chain Pins (no doubt you’ll drop the first one in the dirt during your lactic acid haze)
1 Cyclo-computer (so you have a clue of when the pint glass will be in you hand, how far you might actually be behind the leaders, and statistical proof that you bombed that descent faster than your buddies)

“COOKING UP AN EXCUSE +1”
Same as above except you fear the double flat and rationalize the extra weight of a 2nd tube by carrying the most minimalist lightweight chain tool, air chuck, pump, cyclo-computer and Allen keys possible thereby reducing the weight of your entire tool package to just slightly more than a hearty morning poo.  You then tape the tube to the underside of your stem with matching electrical tape, because only middle aged white guys can make bling out of a 50 cent roll of tape.  This is me yo.

“GIMMIE MY PINT”
You don’t really have a goal in mind other than going home knowing you did your best, but by God you’re going to finish before the tap on that finish line keg runs dry cuz there’s nothing worse than being handed an empty pint glass and being berated by your faster buddies who have already showered and eaten by the time you arrive.  So, you’re bringing an extra tube, an actual full-on multi tool to make sure you at least finish before they get out of the shower. 
Tools from above plus:
Another tube (because you’re THAT guy who installs new tubes and then pinch flats them 2 minutes later.)
A full-on complete Allen wrench set, screwdriver, spoke wrench and knife.  (Because if you can’t fix your bike you can at least stab yourself in the leg and cross the finish line bleeding which gives you carte blanche to fabricate the best story at the campfire after party)

“DON’T WORRY, I BROGHT A LIGHT”
You haven’t ridden further than 1.5 hours all spring, you still don’t have biker tan lines, you preregistered but foolishly you’re still determined to make it. 
Tools from above plus:
Headlight
Full Swiss Army type Allen wrench set including a big 8 or 10mm for your pedals
Patch kit
Stewart Smally’s mini-book of ”Positive Thoughts”
Small bottle of lube
A section of chain
Iodine tablets or water purifier
Band-Aids, Bactine, Medical Tape
A length of duct tape
Map of Mohican Wilderness with highlighted short-cuts
An assortment of screws and washers
A spare (insert part you break most often here such as derailleur hanger, derailleur, seat post etc)
A mojo or good luck charm to dangle from your seat bag to signal to all riders that you have no business being in front of them.