Except if I was late to work, I never ran up a single flight of stairs. The longest “run” I’ve done since Christmas is 90 seconds. I’m not rubbing it in or bragging about finishing tied for 3rd at the American Lung Association's Fight for Air Climb at Cincinnati's Carew Tower. Aside from giggling at my dumb luck, I am pointing out that “run” and “stairs” are not the operative words. Climbing the Carew Tower is not about running stairs. It’s pretty much climbing like a monkey, a very fit and determined monkey.
|Me 2nd from Right with the Rewind 94.9 Rump Shakers|
|Evil Monkey in Full-Effect|
I’m not kidding. I don’t think I could race a 5k without being laid up with sore hammies for two days. To confess, I have been running, if you want to call it that. I “run” on a treadmill. My fastest and longest run is 90 seconds at 7.5mph. High speed intervals. In my head I run like Jason Bourne for 90 seconds, and then walk for a minute. In reality I run like I'm escaping a house fire and walk like a zombie. Then I do it over and over again for about 15 minutes. That’s it.
|The Next Best Thing to Monkey Feet|
I will confess. I did inadvertently have a secret weapon, maybe two, okay 3. It was chilly, so I wore a thin set of full-finger gloves on a short jog from my car the Carew Tower. Made for cycling, they had sticky grippers on the palm and fingers, perfect for gripping handlebars and as it turns out 45 stories of railings. I wore a pair of tall day glow green tall striped socks (pictured above). They make me go fast to run away from the heckling. Oh yeah, and I just got a new pair of Pearl Izumi Peak II trail running shoes. They’re light, have a snug and soft close fit, and are the perfect color of blue. While most running shoes might come close to those attributes, the killer grip of Pearl Izumi's sole stands out. No matter where my feet happened to land, I didn’t slip once, obviously the next best thing to having monkey feet.