Riding dirty’s got a new name and it’s the Morgan Retro Tricycle, now available for a cool $50, or 40 packs of Bubblicious gum. Why should you buy it? Cuz I told you so! That’s why.
They call it the curfew breaker. Once your kid rolls down the driveway on this, no doubt they’re gonna be late for dinner. So, give your daughter a jump start on hurting the feelings of every other little girl in the neighborhood and get her the prettiest damn bike on the block. Why? Cuz! Nothing says I’m the pavement princess like this silver-pedaled super-aero powder pink Morgan Retro Tricycle. All you skinny jean hipsters hang your head in shame, cuz this pink bitch ain’t got no chain. It's the orginal fixie. Fenders? It’s got three! Brakes? It’s time she started to learn how to put her foot down! Rumor has it Kim Kardashian once rode one of these and look how successful she turned out. Sassy pink Channel sunglasses not included, but there's some kick ass bling on the rear fenders. If your 2 year old hasn’t quite developed her 17 year old attitude yet, get this and she’ll be dressing like Nicki Minaj and flipping the bird to all your neighbors in no time. It’s so damn adorable, you’ll never need money for the ice cream man again.
(Joe Biker Note: Seriously, my buddy is selling this. Visit the entry for this post on our Facebook page and leave a comment if you’re interested.)